The clock strikes 12.20pm (really?? It STRIKES at 12.20??). A guy answers his phone. We see hazy flashes of him picking up a shotgun and killing people, then back in reality, he says "Alright," and hangs up the phone as a bus drives past. He heads into a store and asks to look at a gun. The shopkeeper is startled because Doc's not the gun-toting type, but shows him a shotgun. Doc asks what kind of shells it uses, and the shopkeeper pulls out a box to show him. Doc loads the shotgun he's holding. The shopkeeper gets shouty. "It's all going to be okay..." Doc says before shooting the shopkeeper. Customers scream, but Doc repeats his previous statement before shooting himself.
A hazy spirit!Meg asks, "do you love me? Did you ever love me?" Spirit!Meg says that before the crash, her life didn't flash before her eyes. She thought back to her last perfect moment with (presumably) Duncan. We hear Veronica say, "please." Veronica says Duncan can save her if he wants to. Veronica walks up behind Meg's chair wearing some Bad Girl Styling that includes leather pants and fishnet, for real.
Bad!Veronica says she's heard enough. Spirit!Meg asks what Veronica has that she doesn't. Bad!Veronica ties a sleeping mask around her mouth and says that for starters, she's conscious. Bad!V walks toward the camera and asks Duncan if that's really what he wants. "Teddy bears and MASH notes? Grow up. Grow up and get over it." Bad!Veronica slaps Duncan in the dream and this startles him awake.
Bad!Veronica says she's heard enough. Spirit!Meg asks what Veronica has that she doesn't. Bad!Veronica ties a sleeping mask around her mouth and says that for starters, she's conscious. Bad!V walks toward the camera and asks Duncan if that's really what he wants. "Teddy bears and MASH notes? Grow up. Grow up and get over it." Bad!Veronica slaps Duncan in the dream and this startles him awake.
Some dude breaks into a house very easily and tries to tell his twitchy friend, Clay, that they have nothing to worry about; the owner of the house is dead. B&Es Are Easy says he's off to grab the urn. There is a third man present. He follows after B&Es Are Easy and asks if Clay is in the know. B&Es Are Easy says it's better not to spook Clay, who would totally believe that some curse killed the house owner.
Third Man is all, "IDK. Dead House Owner was stung by a scorpion. On an airplane." B&Es Are Easy asks if Third Man is buying into the curse thing too and despite what he just said about scorpions on airplanes, Third Man is like, "nope."
Third Man is all, "IDK. Dead House Owner was stung by a scorpion. On an airplane." B&Es Are Easy asks if Third Man is buying into the curse thing too and despite what he just said about scorpions on airplanes, Third Man is like, "nope."
Phoebe runs into Qua ke and some bro comes over to ask if she's a terrorist because she's the bomb. As much as I'm sure I could end the recap there, another random bro taps into this bad pick-up line ring, asking if it hurt when Phoebe fell from heaven. She whispers in his ear that she's a witch, not an angel, because she's on a one woman mission to basically announce that to everyone, ever.
Phoebe joins her sisters, who are staring at a couple making out at the bar. Phoebe and Piper moan about being single. A cheery waitress delivers a drink to Prue and points out the man in the restaurant who sent it to her.
Phoebe joins her sisters, who are staring at a couple making out at the bar. Phoebe and Piper moan about being single. A cheery waitress delivers a drink to Prue and points out the man in the restaurant who sent it to her.
CARRY ON MY WAAAAYWARD SOOOOOOOOON. Sorry. It's the pointy end of the season, and that means we start with a full recap of the season and the show's unofficial theme song. It's a sure sign that heartbreak isn't far away.
Blue Earth, Minnesota. The camera pans over a stained glass window and down to a priest, flicking through a Bible. Meg walks in, and says she needs someone to talk to about all the terrible things she's done. The priest says salvation was created for sinners, earning himself a shiny gold star
Blue Earth, Minnesota. The camera pans over a stained glass window and down to a priest, flicking through a Bible. Meg walks in, and says she needs someone to talk to about all the terrible things she's done. The priest says salvation was created for sinners, earning himself a shiny gold star
We start at Quake. The name of the restaurant is stylized on a piece of reinforced concrete that is cracked down the middle. GET IT?
Phoebe finds Piper at the bar. As per usual (or based on 2 episodes...) Piper is freaking out. Seems the chef that hired her promptly quit and left her to run things alone. This is clearly not the restaurant Piper auditioned at in the pilot, so perhaps she had to do a full rebrand too. Phew! She must be exhausted. Not too exhausted to notice that Phoebe is wearing her dress., though. I have sisters too. I can spot my dress on one of them from an admirable distance away.
Phoebe finds Piper at the bar. As per usual (or based on 2 episodes...) Piper is freaking out. Seems the chef that hired her promptly quit and left her to run things alone. This is clearly not the restaurant Piper auditioned at in the pilot, so perhaps she had to do a full rebrand too. Phew! She must be exhausted. Not too exhausted to notice that Phoebe is wearing her dress., though. I have sisters too. I can spot my dress on one of them from an admirable distance away.
I've tried to mini-recap several shows and nothing ever panned out. If you are reading this post, SUCCESS. If your name is Sweeney, and you are reading this post in our Trash, at least I tried. Tell no one about my failures.
San Francisco under a full moon and lots of rain. A lady feeds her cat, then chants a spell for protection. All the while we see someone sneaking up behind her. She startles, but then relaxes when she sees who it is. Probably she should've stayed on her guard or maybe worked a little harder on that protection spell because the cloaked figure stabs Witchy Cat Lady.
San Francisco under a full moon and lots of rain. A lady feeds her cat, then chants a spell for protection. All the while we see someone sneaking up behind her. She startles, but then relaxes when she sees who it is. Probably she should've stayed on her guard or maybe worked a little harder on that protection spell because the cloaked figure stabs Witchy Cat Lady.
Welcome back to another edition of Snark Lady Ramblings. I swear I own a brush and I promise to use it before I record another video. Ideally I won't make a habit of waiting until 3am to record these.
Struggles aside, this week I didn't have a topic and so I decided to do another edition of Beyond Traumaland, which is a thing we tried to make a regular part of Segue Magic but we'd have to have kept up with Segue Magic with greater regularity to declare such things.
We're getting close, though, with two whole entries.
Struggles aside, this week I didn't have a topic and so I decided to do another edition of Beyond Traumaland, which is a thing we tried to make a regular part of Segue Magic but we'd have to have kept up with Segue Magic with greater regularity to declare such things.
We're getting close, though, with two whole entries.
A very rough looking Wes stands in Fred's old office, watching Illyria generally be weird in Evil Radio Shack below. When Angel turns up, Wes says that Illyria is either "counting oxygen molecules or analysing the petri dish she just put into her mouth." Angel tells Wes that Illyria isn't his responsibility, she's THEIR responsibility and they should be testing and/or studying her. Wes says that Illyria's not much with the people, and that someone might get hurt. "We'll make Spike do it," Angel says quickly.
Wes vaguely agrees before saying that Illyria needs a guide in our world. Angel's all "Right, but you need sleep. And also to stop punishing yourself. Because you look like a crazy person right now and also my Super Smelling Abilities can smell your excess drinking and lack of showering all over the building and it's gross."
Wes vaguely agrees before saying that Illyria needs a guide in our world. Angel's all "Right, but you need sleep. And also to stop punishing yourself. Because you look like a crazy person right now and also my Super Smelling Abilities can smell your excess drinking and lack of showering all over the building and it's gross."
A man pulls into his garage and cuts the car off. He starts to gather his stuff to get out, but looks confused when the garage door starts closing behind him. As he's turned around, staring at the garage door, the keys crank the car again and the automatic doors lock. (My dad brags about his manual locks all the time. Guess he wouldn't be in this situation, now would he?) (K: My dad's the same but with his refusal to get automatic garage doors. "If the power goes out, *I* can still leave!" Okay, Dad. Whatever.) Doomed To Die tries to turn the ignition off, but the keys are stuck and he starts to panic as the car and garage start to fill up with smoke.
Kirsti: Like, INSTANTLY.
Kirsti: Like, INSTANTLY.
Holy crap, you guys. We have FINALLY made it through 100 episodes of Angel. Which feels like it took approximately 500 years longer than covering 100 episodes of Buffy. Let's have a gif party and get started, shall we?
We open with the Fang Gang kicking down a door and walking into a room featuring a big ass crucifix and a bunch of lit prayer candles. The guys stare in horror as Fred talks to the screen of her scientific gadget about how the guy they're looking for has been there but he's gone now and she's picking up lots of blood that's not his. She finally looks up to see the room is filled with dead nuns. The perp, apparently, is one of their clients.
We open with the Fang Gang kicking down a door and walking into a room featuring a big ass crucifix and a bunch of lit prayer candles. The guys stare in horror as Fred talks to the screen of her scientific gadget about how the guy they're looking for has been there but he's gone now and she's picking up lots of blood that's not his. She finally looks up to see the room is filled with dead nuns. The perp, apparently, is one of their clients.
Our episode today starts at a psychiatric hospital. A nurse sitting at a station, with apparently nothing better to do besides a crossword puzzle, tells a passing doctor that they are running low on diazepam (Valium). He tells her to see if they can get some from a neighboring hospital and then wants in on her crossword action. "In a mellifluous manner," is the clue. 7 letters, ends in y. (Harmony?) The doctor doesn't get it, but fun with words is soon interrupted by an actual medical emergency.
Sweeney: Night shift life.
Sweeney: Night shift life.
This episode begins by jumping back to just before Spike took that big old swig of flat Mountain Dew. He's telling Angel how fully not about him this is and then he drinks. As he does, Angel's face burns up and he screams. (K: Reminiscent of when he dreamt of marrying Buffy and then her burning up???) Then he wakes up sweating, sitting at his desk.
Meanwhile, Spike's hanging out at a strip club (K: Is this an I Know Who Killed Me crossover?) when Lindsey shows up, and Spike tells him to fuck off.
Meanwhile, Spike's hanging out at a strip club (K: Is this an I Know Who Killed Me crossover?) when Lindsey shows up, and Spike tells him to fuck off.
I first suggested that we cover the original Buffy movie way back in August 2012, not long after we started covering Buffy. Somehow, it ended up as a "this would be a good way to finish things" idea, and then with the birth of #snarkathon in December it became a "watch it alone-together with the Traumateers" thing. Aww.
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
Lawrence, Kansas. A young woman (who we last saw reporting on how awesome Jasmine is!) sits in her darkened kitchen, surrounded by moving boxes. She pulls out her wedding photo and tears up. She stops herself when her daughter walks in and says that she can't sleep because there's something in her closet. Upstairs, Widow!Mom checks the closet and declares it free from monsters, though the cameraman lurking in the depths would indicate otherwise. She tucks her daughter, Sari, into bed. Sari says that she doesn't like this house, but Widow!Mom says it's just because she's not used to it, and that they'll be very happy there. She turns the light out and goes to leave, but Sari demands that she first barricade the closet shut with a chair.