Previously: Ana finally encounters a gun-wielding GSP! We now continue reading to see what disappointing thing happens next. — Sweeney: After that incredibly promising chapter end, it is now sadly time...
Dear Traumateers, We are too busy stuffing our faces with goodness to bring you your regularly scheduled snark. Instead, we want to take a second to thank all of you,...
Previously: Grey crashes Ana’s family vacation, the couple tragically survive a flight in a glider, and Grey reveals that letting Ana buy pancakes from IHOP would be a threat to...
Previously: Before leaving to Georgia, Grey and Ana have sex on his desk and one can only hope he disinfected afterwards. At the airport, Ana learns that Grey has upgraded...
Previously: Grey adds to his probable rapist cred by revealing that being told, “No” turns him on. Ana tries to barter sexytimes for information, and manages to get this excellent...
E.L. James likes to end scenes with falling asleep, because it's quick and easy and because she learned all her writing skillz from the second grade. If the last page of this book says "it was all a dream," I QUIT LIFE.
We start chapter 17 with -shock- Ana waking up. She was dreaming of a candle flame and she's a moth flying right for the light. She says, "I'm flying too close to the sun," and even though she doesn't mention Icarus, that's like a copy paste from two pages ago.
Ana realizes that she's dreaming of hot things because Grey is draped across her and his body is making her hot. I know this is really nuanced writing here, but try to keep up.
We're told that Grey's body heat is suffocating Ana. If we've learned anything from all the times her breathing has failed her, though, it's that Ana lives not by oxygen alone. I think she actually breathes gray eyes, abusive relationships and hating Katherine Kavanagh. She proves this by taking a moment out from suffocating to be really happy that Grey spent the night in her bed.
Previously: Ana graduates college but that doesn’t really matter. The big news is that Ana has finally agreed to be Grey’s submissive. Put that on your resume, girl. — Lorraine:...
The first few pages of this chapter gave me a really weird, uncomfortable, sex-ed class vibe. See, Ana's having this dream about being tied up to a bed. Grey is above her wielding a leather riding crop, trailing it along her body until he gets to her vagAna. A few flicks of it and Ana's orgasm is waking her up from her dream.
The weird part is that Ana is astounded. She's never had a wet dream before, and by goly, she didn't even know dreaming about sex was possible! I swear to you she thinks, "I didn't know I could dream sex."
The weird part is that Ana is astounded. She's never had a wet dream before, and by goly, she didn't even know dreaming about sex was possible! I swear to you she thinks, "I didn't know I could dream sex."
Lorraine: Ana and Grey are hugging post Bicycle Gate. Ana's suddenly convinced that she's a telepath, as she's sending some very intense, "KISS ME DAMN IT," thoughts towards Grey. She would make the first move but:
1.) this is the first time, ever, in 21 years that Ana's wanted to kiss anyone at all. I'm pretty sure if she went in for the kiss first, well...
2.) Something is wrong with Ana! See, she's "paralyzed with a strange, unfamiliar need." She's like one of those goats that faint when they get scared. Except it's when her *ahem* happy parts *ahem* get happy. BAM. Paralyzed.
1.) this is the first time, ever, in 21 years that Ana's wanted to kiss anyone at all. I'm pretty sure if she went in for the kiss first, well...
2.) Something is wrong with Ana! See, she's "paralyzed with a strange, unfamiliar need." She's like one of those goats that faint when they get scared. Except it's when her *ahem* happy parts *ahem* get happy. BAM. Paralyzed.
Ana calls Kate with the photo shoot news and Kate's very excited. She's also convinced that Grey's intentions are more than just a helping out the newspaper. Kate's all, "isn't it kind of weird that he followed you all the way to where you work and gave you his cell phone number?" Yes. Yes it is.
Ana regurgitates Grey's "I was in the area" thing and I can just imagine Kate rolling her eyes.
I didn't mention this in chapter 2, but Ana keeps telling us about this "small, quiet voice" in her head. Actually, she told us specifically that this voice was coming from the base of her brain in the medulla oblongata where her subconscious lives, because E.L. James wants to make sure you have all the details, ever. And, I know we all have conscious thought but her voice is kind of creepy and it's always whispering things.
Ana regurgitates Grey's "I was in the area" thing and I can just imagine Kate rolling her eyes.
I didn't mention this in chapter 2, but Ana keeps telling us about this "small, quiet voice" in her head. Actually, she told us specifically that this voice was coming from the base of her brain in the medulla oblongata where her subconscious lives, because E.L. James wants to make sure you have all the details, ever. And, I know we all have conscious thought but her voice is kind of creepy and it's always whispering things.
Previously: The Baby-sitters said goodbye to Stacey and then hello to Mallory. They also went on vacation which isn’t exciting as it sounds. — Sweeney: I think I’m going to...
Happy New Year Traumateers! We realize we were only off for a week, but we missed you guys anyways. We hope you are ready for another year of babies watching babies,...
Previously: A new girl in a hippie skirt tries to break Claudia away from the BSC. All’s well that ends with a poorly crafted rhyming poem, however and the BSC...
Previously: There was a ghost at Dawn’s house. But it wasn’t really a ghost, it was a person. Lame. — Lorraine: At the onset of this blog, five whole months...
Previously: Some children enjoy being homeless way too much, until one of them gets very sick. It is through this plot contrivance that they discover that their incredibly rich grandfather...