Hello friends and welcome back to nonsensical murder college.
This book is absolutely taking over bookish communities right now. I read it, in good faith, because I heard good reviews even before it was published. I hated it. It is in fact so bad that it can be snarked, chapter by chapter. Hello, welcome.
Previously: Meet Geralt, he’s a witcher who grunts. Content Warnings: Ableism, attempted suicide, bullying, and violence. — Four Marks Marines: Village. A young girl and boy flirt and sneak behind a...
Why wouldn’t we recap fairies at a fairy school? — To the Waters and the Wild Marines: A tale as old as time: Netflix emailed me and everyone else about this new...
Nancy Drew won 2019’s Fall TV Poll. Dear ole Nan has ties to the very first posts here on Snark Squad. Let’s see what new shenanigans the people at The...
Previously: Man in Black got more clues and William agreed to play black hat. — Contrapasso Marines: 3D-PRINTED ROBOTS! Ford is in the Basement of Don’t Go in There, visiting Old...
We start straight away with the credits, which I love. Maybe I'm just determined to love this. YAY CREDITS.
Stephanie: I loved them too. The colors! The music! I may have gone back to watch them again... twice.
Mari: To emphasize the dark!Veronica Mars (S: My first thought too.) vibe I'm getting right off the bat, the episode starts with Jessica Jones's voiceover: New York may be the city that never sleeps, but it sure does sleep around. We see a man and a woman sneaking down Adultery Alley.
Stephanie: I loved them too. The colors! The music! I may have gone back to watch them again... twice.
Mari: To emphasize the dark!Veronica Mars (S: My first thought too.) vibe I'm getting right off the bat, the episode starts with Jessica Jones's voiceover: New York may be the city that never sleeps, but it sure does sleep around. We see a man and a woman sneaking down Adultery Alley.
We keep letting you guys choose what we’ll watch in the fall, and here we are. — Behold… The Inhumans Marines: Marvel Logo, a long shot of the Moon from space...
We made it!
Yeah, we fell pretty off pace there toward the end. I feel like we were way more prepared the first time around, probably because we were bright eyed and bushy tailed, even if we expected the books to be bad.
Annie: And because it had been so long since we'd read these books, we'd forgotten how absolutely awful they were! Like, really, really awful. Way, way worse than I'd remembered.
Catherine: Reliving it ten years later is somehow way worse, guys.
Yeah, we fell pretty off pace there toward the end. I feel like we were way more prepared the first time around, probably because we were bright eyed and bushy tailed, even if we expected the books to be bad.
Annie: And because it had been so long since we'd read these books, we'd forgotten how absolutely awful they were! Like, really, really awful. Way, way worse than I'd remembered.
Catherine: Reliving it ten years later is somehow way worse, guys.
Ryan broodily channel surfs. Kirsten sadly folds laundry. It's a difficult day at the Cohen house.
Kirsten hears a door. Seth goes directly to the pool house and Sandy meets Kirsten in the main house. We cut between Seth and Sandy telling the story that Seth denied all fire-setting charges. Sandy isn't sure he believes that, especially since he saw the confession napkin. Seth tells Ryan that it was totally a mistake. Ryan tells him to tell The Eyebrows the truth, but lol, no. Meanwhile, the Cohen parents worry about what would happen if they accuse Seth of lying and he isn't.
Kirsten hears a door. Seth goes directly to the pool house and Sandy meets Kirsten in the main house. We cut between Seth and Sandy telling the story that Seth denied all fire-setting charges. Sandy isn't sure he believes that, especially since he saw the confession napkin. Seth tells Ryan that it was totally a mistake. Ryan tells him to tell The Eyebrows the truth, but lol, no. Meanwhile, the Cohen parents worry about what would happen if they accuse Seth of lying and he isn't.
Our exposition-on-the-fly this episode is really Kara reading a letter from Cat to her estranged son, basically being like, "sorry I wasn't a parent." While that voice over plays, Supergirl saves a family stuck in a camper from a forest fire. Because FAMILY.
Catherine: At first I actually thought her 'sorry I neglected you' letter was about the earth. Like, 'sorry I wasn't saving you quicker' and I was like, huh, this is cool. But no. And now I'm not sure why I went there.
Mari: They should hire you.
Catherine: At first I actually thought her 'sorry I neglected you' letter was about the earth. Like, 'sorry I wasn't saving you quicker' and I was like, huh, this is cool. But no. And now I'm not sure why I went there.
Mari: They should hire you.
You may remember in early September that we did a little poll to pick a new Fall 2015 show to review. Lots of you guys voted for Supergirl and it won, you may also remember. (S: Thank god it wasn't Scream Queens, thank god it wasn't Scream Queens.) (M: It can't be as bad as Gotham, it can't be as bad as Gotham.) (C: Not a high bar, you guys.)
You may not remember much else but that's okay, because I'm here to help.
You may not remember much else but that's okay, because I'm here to help.
Jorge: Have you ever watched Spike Jonze's Adaptation?
Marines: ...what? No. Where is this going?
Jorge: Oh man. You totally should. It's the sorta-real-but-not-exactly-real story of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman, played with aplomb by Nicholas Cage, as he takes on the challenge of adapting Susan Orleans' book The Orchid Thief for the big screen. Orleans' book is a rumination on passions and disappointments, framed by a story about orchid poaching in Florida.
Marines: ...what? No. Where is this going?
Jorge: Oh man. You totally should. It's the sorta-real-but-not-exactly-real story of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman, played with aplomb by Nicholas Cage, as he takes on the challenge of adapting Susan Orleans' book The Orchid Thief for the big screen. Orleans' book is a rumination on passions and disappointments, framed by a story about orchid poaching in Florida.
Lab. A scientist we can't see hits a button and electricity crackles. He tells someone else that the prototype has passed every test and is working. In the shadows, a man says that "working" isn't the correct word because that would apply only to machines. The man comes out of the shadows so that we see he's in a motorized chair.
Kirsti: I flail with excitement because it's Owen from Vicar of Dibley!!! Excuse me while I spend the rest of the episode expecting him to talk about how he's late because his sheep exploded or something.
Kirsti: I flail with excitement because it's Owen from Vicar of Dibley!!! Excuse me while I spend the rest of the episode expecting him to talk about how he's late because his sheep exploded or something.
Rich people stuff like large lawns and horseback riding: a woman rides up on a horse and calls out to a man named Jack that she'll be done shortly and he should behave himself. Rich Lady (Margaret) blows him a kiss and rides off. Jack is sitting with a group of his buds and they joke about not actually ever playing tennis, and just sitting around day drinking. It's all fun until one of his bros sees Margaret's horse, suspiciously sans Margaret.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.