This book is absolutely taking over bookish communities right now. I read it, in good faith, because I heard good reviews even before it was published. I hated it. It is in fact so bad that it can be snarked, chapter by chapter. Hello, welcome.
Remember that Max is out of town, so he doesn't have the Thames to immediately convey his emotions. Have no fear, we get a bunch of other weather updates to compensate
Previously: Max had sex. — Marines: If you’ll recall, Max just asked Alessia who the heck she is. “Zot!” she thinks, because writing characters who speak another language means just...
Previously: Disco Ball hanging in trees, more a stalker than we originally knew. — Marines: Hello! Extended breaks are a thing around Snark Squad, but things went especially south in the...
Bella is sad again. I know you're shocked.
This time it's because she starts the chapter by waking up to fresh snowfall. As someone who hates snow myself, I can't really blame her for this. But, ya know... I'm going to.
But worse than the snow is that apparently all of the rain from the day before has frozen solid and now everything is icy. Bella's first thought is, of course, about how she's going to manage to walk on all this ice since she has so much trouble walking in general. What must it be like to be so clumsy that your first thought is always whether or not you're going to survive a walk to your driveway?
This time it's because she starts the chapter by waking up to fresh snowfall. As someone who hates snow myself, I can't really blame her for this. But, ya know... I'm going to.
But worse than the snow is that apparently all of the rain from the day before has frozen solid and now everything is icy. Bella's first thought is, of course, about how she's going to manage to walk on all this ice since she has so much trouble walking in general. What must it be like to be so clumsy that your first thought is always whether or not you're going to survive a walk to your driveway?
EL James published a new book so here we are again. Bets in the comments on if this one will be better or worse. — Marines: A few months ago, Nicole and...
Previously: Lorelai got engaged and didn’t tell her parents. — Hammers and Veils Grace: We open at the Gilmore girls’ house, where Lorelai comes downstairs wearing a newspaper veil. Honestly I’m...
Previously: Mommy dearest. — Samantha: Tessa notes that she has truly stunned her mother, which doesn’t happen often. Her mother remarks that she can’t afford this place. Tessa does not tell...
Previously: Hardin stayed out all night and got into a fight and made Tessa feel like shit. — Samantha: FYI, dear readers, this chapter has a content warning from us...
Previously: Moving in to the tune of Hardin’s temper tantrums. — Samantha: Idk, it says that they’re heading to the hamper literally the sentence before the chapter starts but then they’re...
Previously: A suck and blow mystery. — Samantha: Tessa scrambles away as Hardin slams Dan’s head into the grass. She wonders if he would have also slammed his head into concrete...
Previously: We thought it was an argument chapter but then they started having sex. — Samantha: Hello. Let’s start this post with some deep breathing. Everyone breathe in. Breath out. In....
Previously: Tessa and Hardin decide they love each other. — Samantha: They stop kissing and sit on the bed and Tessa demands to know who he fought with. Was it...
We open with the wonderful credits which go on for a half hour because I'm still watching them over and over. (Ha ha. JK. That would be weird...)
Credits over, the scene picks up where we left off last time. Jessica is still feeling up Luke's unbreakable pecs and abs, but this time, in a more sexual manner. She tears off his shirt (M: how is he even getting home now JESSICA) and they start aggressively making out. The pants are quickly unzipped and they have super powered sex against a wall.
Sadly, they're interrupted when the male half of the Creepy Twins peeks in. Jess slams the door in his face.
Credits over, the scene picks up where we left off last time. Jessica is still feeling up Luke's unbreakable pecs and abs, but this time, in a more sexual manner. She tears off his shirt (M: how is he even getting home now JESSICA) and they start aggressively making out. The pants are quickly unzipped and they have super powered sex against a wall.
Sadly, they're interrupted when the male half of the Creepy Twins peeks in. Jess slams the door in his face.
Previously: James Corden guest starred, the Doctor was good at football, and Amy got stuck in the TARDIS. She also found her engagement ring though, so…there’s that? — The Pandorica...