We open with a slightly terrifying close-up of a ginger bloke and Rose voiceover-ing about her dad, the most wonderful man in the world. I feel like I know the ginger bloke from something, but IMDb informs me it's just One Episode of Every British Police Show Ever. (M: A+) That throws us into a flashback of Jackie showing Mini!Rose photos of her father and telling her about the day he died, how it was the same day that friends of hers got married. In the TARDIS, Rose asks the Doctor if they can go and see her father when he was still alive. The Doctor is briefly concerned and tells her "be careful what you wish for" but agrees with a grin nonetheless. He pulls some controls and the TARDIS vworp vworps.
Spencer is sitting alone in the common area at Radley when the PLLs drop by. It appears to be well past visiting hours, but Radley's just making shit up as she goes. Anyway, the PLLs dropped by to let her know that they have good news, but they have a really interesting interpretation of "good news" because that news is that the cops found a camper's body. I mean, yay for Toby, but also sucks for that camper and his family, you know?
Lorraine: Plus, they seem to have missed the part where Spencer is in there because she saw Toby's body. "Good news, your boyfriend is alive, but you are DEFINITELY crazy!" Thanks, girls! Nice way to start the episode.
Lorraine: Plus, they seem to have missed the part where Spencer is in there because she saw Toby's body. "Good news, your boyfriend is alive, but you are DEFINITELY crazy!" Thanks, girls! Nice way to start the episode.
Mona is using a compact to both check her lipstick and spy on Hanna, Aria and Emily. She slams it shut and the music seems to think that's a BFD. We head over to the Liars who are freaking out because Spencer is a no-show for school, even after an SOS text from Emily. Hanna tries to calm everyone down. Emily says that if Spencer doesn't respond, they'll go to her house after school.
The bell rings and the girls take off. They are stopped by someone I'm guessing is the principal. (S: LOL, look at him, pretending to have any authority at this fake school.)
The bell rings and the girls take off. They are stopped by someone I'm guessing is the principal. (S: LOL, look at him, pretending to have any authority at this fake school.)
Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Exterior: A big beautiful house, with a voiceover of a small child saying Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, which is super creepy. I will be sure to discourage my child from saying that prayer and also singing creepy children's songs. Sorry, kid. Mama doesn't want to accidentally punt you across the room in a moment of fear.
Kirsti: Valid life choice. Especially as the version that I've always heard here is the "if I die before I wake/I pray the Lord my soul to take" one. Which, YES, let's teach small children that they might die in their sleep. That's a GENIUS plan!! O.o (Vaguely related - I'm going to spend the rest of this episode singing Enter Sandman, because reasons.)
Kirsti: Valid life choice. Especially as the version that I've always heard here is the "if I die before I wake/I pray the Lord my soul to take" one. Which, YES, let's teach small children that they might die in their sleep. That's a GENIUS plan!! O.o (Vaguely related - I'm going to spend the rest of this episode singing Enter Sandman, because reasons.)
Warning - this episode is rated F for Feels. Please acquire tissues before proceeding with this recap. We open in a FLASHBACK! Fred is at her parents' house, packing up her stuff for her big move to join the graduate physics program at UCLA. Her dad is totally against her moving, saying that she's going to Hell-A and that if she meets one angel there, he'll eat the dogs. Dude. No. (L: She met Angel; LEAVE THE DOGS ALONE.)
He goes out to check the car for the millionth time. Fred realises that she's forgotten Feiginbaum, her stuffed bunny toy, which I mention only because it's relevant later. (S: AH. I DIDN'T CATCH THIS. AH. FEELS.)
He goes out to check the car for the millionth time. Fred realises that she's forgotten Feiginbaum, her stuffed bunny toy, which I mention only because it's relevant later. (S: AH. I DIDN'T CATCH THIS. AH. FEELS.)
A security guard is on his rounds in a darkened...IDK, warehouse? Factory? It looks like the back end of the brewery I used to work at, anyway. He hears a noise and reports in before going to investigate. Smart, but not smart enough, dude. (L: Right, because he is still investigating darkened basements.) He heads down a flight of stairs, accompanied by the Orchestra of Dude, You Gonna Die. He screams a little at the bottom, but only in surprise because he's face to face with the ware-facto-brewery's plumber. He reports in that everything's fine, then sees the plumber get thrown through the air. He rushes up the stairs (there's that "not smart enough" part) only to get attacked himself. Something slices at his face and he screams as we see a shadow attack him.
Lorraine: Everyone say it together: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
Lorraine: Everyone say it together: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
Kirsti: We start literally where we left off, with Angelus biting Faith's neck. Suddenly, he stops and drops her, scurrying backwards. "What...did you do?" he asks. Flashback to a few minutes earlier. While Angelus was taunting Wes, Faith grabbed a syringe from her boot and injected something into her arm before re-entering the fight. Back in the present, Angelus staggers around briefly before passing out. Wes asks Faith if she's okay. "Kicked his ass," she slurs before blacking out. Electric cellos.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
Today's episode begins with a flashback! We're at the Tam Estate, 11 years ago. Kid!Simon is sitting by the fireplace working on something while kid!River tries to play an elaborate role playing game with him. It is here that I do a double take because kid!Simon is none other than a young Zac Efron. LOLOLOLOL. I might giggle through this entire scene. (L: I'll have fingers crossed for a sudden musical number!) Hilarity aside, it's a very cute scene - kid!River is adorable and imaginative and kid!Simon is a pretty fantastic older brother. He sets aside his light-up tablet thing to engage/encourage kid!River further when she demonstrates her general brilliance by pointing out that his assignment (the problem itself, not his answer) is wrong. It's worth noting that her game is very us/them with "them" being the independents.
That point is driven home when their father enters. Zac Efron and his father chat about future technology and have a conversation that's sort of the equivalent of Zac Efron wanting his own, unfiltered internet account, but dad doesn't want him to have unfettered access to porn and other unsavory things. (He says it in Mandarin, btw, I'm assuming it was long-winded Mandarin for "porn and unsavory politics.") (L: He actually says, "heaven knows what." Heaven might not know, but Sweeney does! PORN AND UNSAVORY POLITICS.) Unfortunately, he was overruled by his wife who is OK with Zac Efron getting porn, anarchy, and The Real Housewives of the Outer Planets. (L: A+) Papa Tam adds, though, that Zac Efron had better use his "dedicated source box" to become a super genius doctor.
That point is driven home when their father enters. Zac Efron and his father chat about future technology and have a conversation that's sort of the equivalent of Zac Efron wanting his own, unfiltered internet account, but dad doesn't want him to have unfettered access to porn and other unsavory things. (He says it in Mandarin, btw, I'm assuming it was long-winded Mandarin for "porn and unsavory politics.") (L: He actually says, "heaven knows what." Heaven might not know, but Sweeney does! PORN AND UNSAVORY POLITICS.) Unfortunately, he was overruled by his wife who is OK with Zac Efron getting porn, anarchy, and The Real Housewives of the Outer Planets. (L: A+) Papa Tam adds, though, that Zac Efron had better use his "dedicated source box" to become a super genius doctor.
Kirsti: We open on a sunny morning with a girl in a historically inaccurate costume pouring water from a well into a jug. It's 1753, and we're in Galway. Oh, sorry. Galway, IRELAND, because the show needs to clarify such things for stupid people who don't know where Galway is.
Sweeney: This is an American show. Our people don't know shit about maps or other places. They can't even put half the US states on a map, so expecting them to identify foreign cities without clarification is just too much.
K: And yet someone decided America should be in charge of the world. Go figure...
Sweeney: This is an American show. Our people don't know shit about maps or other places. They can't even put half the US states on a map, so expecting them to identify foreign cities without clarification is just too much.
K: And yet someone decided America should be in charge of the world. Go figure...
Previously: Xander joined the swim team and we saw FAR more of him than we wanted to. Also, monsters. Becoming, Part 1 Kirsti: Brace yourselves, guys. It’s about to get flashback-y...
Previously: We discovered that Xander is surprisingly toned under his baggy outfits, that Little League coaches are terrifying, and that I have WAY weirder nightmares than anyone in Sunnydale without...