The title of this chapter is 'Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock', which is appropriate because I can feel my life slipping away as I read it. (K: Samesies.) (A: Ditto.)
We begin with Jacob thinking more about Leah and how much he hates her. This time it's because, although Leah is 'trying hard' to think less aggressive thoughts, (I guess?) she still doesn't like the vampires and she doesn't like Jake and Seth's friendship with them. Jake realizes, though that Leah has been less of a bitch to him and wonders if it's because he understands her hostility better now.
We open at a psychiatric hospital where a woman patient sits in the doctor's office. He asks why she refuses to take her medication and she says that they make her sleepy and if she sleeps the monster will come. The doctor is all "yeah, but this monster is just a symptom of the schizophrenia that you have, let me describe it to you." Susan says that she knows what she is, she can see her dead son, but this monster is real and killed Annie. He keeps psycho babbling and refuses to believe.
A business-y man watches a commercial for an Ood and talks about it with someone on the other side of a wrist communicator. Business is down so they are dropping the price all the way to 50 credits. After the wrist conversation is over, Business Man tells a nearby Ood to pull some military reports, because the military are always looking for some extra help.
Another call comes into Business Man's watch, just so we're super clear that this man is selling Ood. The Ood from a second ago comes back with a file, but Business Man says it's the wrong one. The Ood says that's irrelevant. A little surprised and a little upset, Business Man asks why that is.
Another call comes into Business Man's watch, just so we're super clear that this man is selling Ood. The Ood from a second ago comes back with a file, but Business Man says it's the wrong one. The Ood says that's irrelevant. A little surprised and a little upset, Business Man asks why that is.
LOOK AT ME! I'm recapping an episode of Supernatural!
...which probably explains why this is all late because I'm messing up Kirsti's timeliness completely. Sorry I'm the worst!
Kirsti: Who cares about timeliness when it means I GET AN EPISODE OFF WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Mari: Oh, okay. I feel better!
Carry on my wayward son! I've been around these parts long enough to know that this song means we've reached finale time. There is a round of extended, season-long previouslies that ends with Sam walking out on Dean.
...which probably explains why this is all late because I'm messing up Kirsti's timeliness completely. Sorry I'm the worst!
Kirsti: Who cares about timeliness when it means I GET AN EPISODE OFF WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Mari: Oh, okay. I feel better!
Carry on my wayward son! I've been around these parts long enough to know that this song means we've reached finale time. There is a round of extended, season-long previouslies that ends with Sam walking out on Dean.
Sarah's asleep in captivity. A bright light shines on her face, waking her up as the cell door creaks open. Eerie music plays as she walks around an abandoned Castor Military HQ. She hears a giggle and runs after it, while my brain goes “ah, dream sequence.”
Marines: It's cool that her dream self is all gross and sweaty too, though.
Marines: It's cool that her dream self is all gross and sweaty too, though.
Bobby walks through his house with a flashlight in hand. He hears a noise and turns, but there's nothing there. He heads into the kitchen and looks around, but it's empty. Suddenly, a woman screams and attacks him. He falls to the floor, and she shakes him back and forth. The screen flashes white a few times and we cut to Bobby asleep in a motel bed. It's daylight. A maid enters, and apologises when she sees him. She pulls the keys from the door, and they jangle. But Bobby doesn't budge. She looks concerned and walks over to him. She shakes his shoulder a little, and he still doesn't move. We cut back to the screaming woman in the kitchen and Bobby trying to fend off her blows.
Welcome back to Shondaland! Let's see if the new year has brought us some new love for these characters. Probs not, though.
Marines: I like that you at least mentioned the possibility! That's positive.
Diva: I try.
We begin, as we always should, with a stripped-down, natural Annalise in front of the mirror. This is already so much better than any episode that starts with the murder!bonfire. The Voiceover Police question Annalise about why she thinks her husband murdered Lila. She explains that he's "missing."
Marines: I like that you at least mentioned the possibility! That's positive.
Diva: I try.
We begin, as we always should, with a stripped-down, natural Annalise in front of the mirror. This is already so much better than any episode that starts with the murder!bonfire. The Voiceover Police question Annalise about why she thinks her husband murdered Lila. She explains that he's "missing."
Previously: Paul broke into the Dollhouse with Alpha-in-disguise. — Omega Sweeney: Picking up shortly after her and Victor’s run-in with Alpha at the end of the previous episode (SORRY IT’S BEEN...
The episode begins with the camera centered on Penguin's Umbrella. Does that mean that the cameraman gets the star? You know, I'll give it out again if somebody says it for real, but since the cinematographer is my favorite member of the crew, (s)he and the cameraman can share an honorary star. Here you go!
Marines: I feel like if there is anywhere where we can play fast and loose with the star rules it's with this show.
Marines: I feel like if there is anywhere where we can play fast and loose with the star rules it's with this show.
Improbable bonfire. We cut immediately to Asher, so the improbable bonfire was just to (a) - establish that we are in the future and (b) - keep the bonfire episode opener going on forever. Asher is in his Twlight-movie-blue-filtered apartment dancing around, throwing money, drinking, gyrating, and generally being a lot more carefree than his Dumbledore's Army counterparts in this uncertain future. He's mid-thrusting on the couch when he gets a phone call from someone named Alicia. He wants to go to the bonfire because he has the Murder Weapon Trophy and doesn't have to study. Except he just realizes that Murder Weapon Trophy is gone.
Jaime is pissed now that the sweet deal he set up with his father, in which Tyrion spent the rest of his days at the Wall, has crumbled. Tyrion doesn't see why he should be grateful about being exiled to a perpetual snowpocalypse for a crime he didn't even commit. (S: PLUS, WHITE WALKERS. Fuck that.) Jaime snaps that this isn't a joke. Tyrion says it is, it just isn't very funny. I think we've all felt like life's walking punchline a time or two. I mean, probably we weren't on trial for murder, but the sentiment is universal.
We start at Tommen's coronation, where the (I'm assuming) High Septon calls the crown a heavy burden. He means it in a "ruling the Seven Kingdoms" way, but since the last handful of kings were all murdered, I'd say that shit is the worst kind of burden. Little Tommen needs all the prayers and blessings he can get. We pan a bit around the room, and focus for a while on DaddyUncle Jaime, standing just in back of the throne. The Probably High Septon finishes the ceremony, earns himself a Gold Star by calling Tommen the first of his name, places the crown on Tom's head and proclaims, "long may he reign!" We hear and see Cersei and Tywin repeat those words, with the crowd, and I'm struck by Charles Dance's smooth, velvety voice.
There is lots of cheering and celebration for the baby king.
There is lots of cheering and celebration for the baby king.
Inside the Summers' home, it's somewhat clear that whatever happened at the end of the last episode, it wasn't well thought out. All the Potentials, Giles, Willow, Faith, Xander, Anya and Principal Wood are having a disorganized discussion about how to have organized discussions. Kennedy is pretty much just excited about having more of a say.
Faith keeps trying to calm everyone down. Amanda goes on and on about parliamentary procedure. During this, Giles tries to assure Dawn that what they did was for the best. Dawn says it doesn't feel that way. Finally, Faith tells everyone that they need to chill out and get some sleep. Kennedy wonders if they have time to waste and Faith basically answers, "things suck so let's sleep." I support this plan. It's pretty much the best one we've heard this season.
Faith keeps trying to calm everyone down. Amanda goes on and on about parliamentary procedure. During this, Giles tries to assure Dawn that what they did was for the best. Dawn says it doesn't feel that way. Finally, Faith tells everyone that they need to chill out and get some sleep. Kennedy wonders if they have time to waste and Faith basically answers, "things suck so let's sleep." I support this plan. It's pretty much the best one we've heard this season.
The previouslies remind us of Warren murdering Tara and the flaying, so that's SUPER promising. Giles is heading off to the desert to take the Potentials on Vision Quest, fretting about whether or not Buffy will be all right, Buffy jokes that they've managed longer than that -- you know when he ABANDONED THEM. The rest of the Scoobies strut in and out of the scene to talk about making marshmallows, the fact that the girls are fighting over who gets to drive since Giles doesn't have a valid license, and let Giles know that Molly is locked in the trunk. Good times.
Kirsti: My favourite thing about this scene is Giles berating Buffy for what she told the Potentials about the Vision Quest:
Kirsti: My favourite thing about this scene is Giles berating Buffy for what she told the Potentials about the Vision Quest:
Little girls are jumping rope, which is always creepy, but this time it's even creepier because they're singing a song while they play: "Pretty Little Liars, all by yourself. Sneak to the park, dig in the dark, telling little lies to make their mark." Ugh, children singing is always the worst. If I ever have children, I will not allow them to creepy sing in groups like that.
Lorraine: Oh, gosh, definitely not. They will also not be allowed to swing on swing sets really slowly or ask anyone if they are his or her mommy. Gotta set ground rules, you know?
Sweeney: Our fear of having creepy children is sort of a sub-theme for this week in Rosewood.
Lorraine: Oh, gosh, definitely not. They will also not be allowed to swing on swing sets really slowly or ask anyone if they are his or her mommy. Gotta set ground rules, you know?
Sweeney: Our fear of having creepy children is sort of a sub-theme for this week in Rosewood.