5 Posts

Tag: GOD DAMMIT EMILY.

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Twilight Chapter 05 – Incredibly bad for you.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • August 25, 2020
  • 35 Comments
To start, we did indeed hear the news of the gender-flipped Twilight reimagining. I've already started skimming through it, mostly to decide what to do with it. I think recaps are firmly off the table, only because it's like 90% copy/paste/find/replace pronouns. It doesn't make sense to recap the same stuff all over again (a lesson we're kind of learning over on the Grey recaps, which at least has the "benefit" of a POV switch...). I do think it's worth pointing out some things about the reimagining, namely all the stupid little changes Meyer made because of gender norms and sexism, I guess.
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Twilight Chapter 04 – Premonitions of RAGE

  • Posted byby K
  • August 21, 2020
  • 69 Comments
Continuing on from yesterday's total lack of a cliffhanger, Bella tells us all about her Edward dream. In it, "what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin." Because he glows as well as sparkling, apparently. Oh. Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, Dream!Edward continually walks away from Bella no matter what she does. LOL.
Marines: I'm going to go ahead and call a red flag on dreams of your crush glowing in the dark and running away from you. Also WHAT THE CHEATERY, SKIN-GLOWING NARRATION HELL? Is Bella a prophet? Please just tell this Snow if the answer is yes so I can stop asking HOW SHE KNOWS SO MUCH. 
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Twilight Chapter 02 – She’s the worst.

  • Posted byby Annie
  • August 11, 2020
  • 53 Comments
The chapter opens with the line "The next day was better... and worse," and I'm already pissed off.
The day was better for Bella because it wasn't raining yet and she knew what to expect on her second day of school, but worse, because she was tired. Bella complains about the rain, the people she has to attend school with, but she internal-monologues about how she is starting to remember some of her fellow students' names. This is the short list of complaints explaining how her day was better. Girl. Just. Lighten up.
Catherine: Honestly, she should just be glad that any of her 'fellow students' are willing to be friends with her. It's a sacrifice. 
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Twilight Chapter 01 – Bell-waaaaaah.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • August 5, 2020
  • 82 Comments
It starts with a Bible verse.
Sorry, sorry, I just feel like this book is already taking itself too seriously, but okay.
Kirsti: Technically, it starts with a dedication to her sister Emily, "without whose enthusiasm this story might still be unfinished." DAMMIT, EMILY. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. 
Mari: Perhaps when we get particularly frustrated with the story, we can just yell, "EMILY."
Onward to the preface. An unidentified someone says she has never given much thought to how she would die, but had she thought about it, she wouldn't have imagined this. Let's just call this unidentified person Bella, okay?
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New Moon Chapter 01 – Paper – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Cut

  • Posted byby Marines
  • March 1, 2016
  • 32 Comments
And we're back! I added a little exclamation point to feign some excitement about reading this again. I am happy you are here, though. Welcome! (Note: Genuine exclamation point that time.)
Say hello, ladies:
Kirsti: HELLO FRIENDS. Fun fact: when I first typed that, I wrote "HELL FRIENDS", and that accurately depicts what reading and recapping this book is like: you're in hell, but at least you have friends to complain to about how godawful it is.
Catherine: Hi! I'm glad to see you all again although I wish it was under better circumstances. We really must meet at a happier occasion sometime. Like a funeral or a Mary Kay party.