Grey hasn't gone to bed yet, but since we've passed midnight it's the next chapter. He broods at his piano instead. He's mad because Ana said she would try to change for him, but in the end she didn't. In fact, he tells himself that she “fell at the first hurdle.” Grey, I think last night was leagues away from the first hurdle. Way after the selling-your-car and stalking-your-life hurdles.
Bella wakes up again. At the beginning of every chapter she must wake up. It is the prophecy.
She immediately remembers she had a bad dream that was also a thing that actually happened to her and takes like, 3 paragraphs to remind us of this thing that just happened to her. 700% of this book is just Bella rehashing things that we already had to suffer through once. In another life, we Snark Ladies must have sinned terribly.
She immediately remembers she had a bad dream that was also a thing that actually happened to her and takes like, 3 paragraphs to remind us of this thing that just happened to her. 700% of this book is just Bella rehashing things that we already had to suffer through once. In another life, we Snark Ladies must have sinned terribly.
Yes, it's true. Ana and Grey broke up, but this book is still going. Can you guess how happy I am about that?
But E. L. must have a really good reason for writing FIVE MORE CHAPTERS of this damn thing, right? I'm sure there are going to be all sorts of plot twists and turns, and plenty of brand new information which will make reading what follows a totally worthwhile use of our time. Right? RIGHT?
But E. L. must have a really good reason for writing FIVE MORE CHAPTERS of this damn thing, right? I'm sure there are going to be all sorts of plot twists and turns, and plenty of brand new information which will make reading what follows a totally worthwhile use of our time. Right? RIGHT?
Gosh, I just can't seem to remember if anything important or significant happens in this chapter.
Annie: Does anything important or significant ever happen in SMeyer's books until she remembers that they should have a plot in Chapter 22? My prediction is no.
Catherine: I guess we'll have to read on and see.
Annie: Does anything important or significant ever happen in SMeyer's books until she remembers that they should have a plot in Chapter 22? My prediction is no.
Catherine: I guess we'll have to read on and see.
I cannot remember a single thing that happened in the last chapter. I’m not saying this as an apology or anything. I actually get pretty proud of myself whenever I manage to purge any part of this experience from my brain.
Jessica: I also have forgotten pretty much everything except some shadowy glimpses of plot. I've enjoyed this ignorance, and I feel that I shall soon miss it....
Mari: Yep. Also, I know I'm not posting this on it's regular day, but since we've been gone for so long, and we finally finished this thing, I figured why not. We can all soon miss our ignorance together.
Jessica: I also have forgotten pretty much everything except some shadowy glimpses of plot. I've enjoyed this ignorance, and I feel that I shall soon miss it....
Mari: Yep. Also, I know I'm not posting this on it's regular day, but since we've been gone for so long, and we finally finished this thing, I figured why not. We can all soon miss our ignorance together.
Before we get started on this chapter, I’d like to thank Mari for picking up chapter 9 (the sex contract chapter) while I was completely swamped with finishing my masters degree. However, I've kind of screwed myself over, because now I have to cover this extremely long chapter instead. Come back, sex contract! All is forgiven! (Not really).
Marines: I love you, but this worked out so well for me.
Marines: I love you, but this worked out so well for me.
My last recap was mostly just a bunch of stuff from FSoG slightly rewritten from Grey’s PoV. It seems that I’ve got pretty much the same deal this time, only A MILLION TIMES WORSE, because now I have the dubious honour of recapping Grey’s first sex scene.
Luckily, though, I have a while to prepare myself for that, because this is also the LONGEST CHAPTER OF ALL TIME. It just keeps going and going. I’ll be surprised if anyone is even still reading by the time we get to the sex part.
Jessica: Your perseverance in not only reading, but writing, is impressive. Just reading this took colossal effort.
Luckily, though, I have a while to prepare myself for that, because this is also the LONGEST CHAPTER OF ALL TIME. It just keeps going and going. I’ll be surprised if anyone is even still reading by the time we get to the sex part.
Jessica: Your perseverance in not only reading, but writing, is impressive. Just reading this took colossal effort.
Oh hey. It’s me again, reviewing a Gotham episode for the third time this week. What can I say? The prospect of the season finale next week gave me a renewed sense of purpose. That, and the desire to be done with this show forever and ever.
Marines: She kept asking, "want me to do the next one?" and the answer was always yes. Yes forever.
Alex: So. It’s morning at Christian/Milo/Ogre’s apartment and rather than away screaming when she saw the murder chamber last night, Barbara instead spent the night there having lots and lots of sex.
Marines: She kept asking, "want me to do the next one?" and the answer was always yes. Yes forever.
Alex: So. It’s morning at Christian/Milo/Ogre’s apartment and rather than away screaming when she saw the murder chamber last night, Barbara instead spent the night there having lots and lots of sex.
Bruce is hanging around under a bridge. Some dodgy guy tries to start on him, but Selina appears and scares him away. She went back to check on Reggie, whose definitely-dead body has now been found by the cops. Bruce gets teary and asks why she did it. Selina yells back that she saved his life by killing Reggie, because otherwise this Bunderslaw guy would have found out what they were up to. Bruce suggests that they go check out Bunderslaw’s safe at the office to find out what he’s hiding, and Selina agrees to help after making him promise not to tell anyone what happened to Reggie.
Fish and her snazzy new eye gaze thoughtfully out of the window at Organ Donor Island. She heads downstairs and schmoozes a little with some of the rich patients, who are having a grand old time at the fancy facility while recovering from their illegal transplants. Then she sneaks into an empty room and breaks open the door to take a casual stroll outside, where she spots a helicopter. Just then, some dudes with guns pull up in a car, led by a guy calling himself 'The Catcher'. She introduces herself and feigns ignorance about not being allowed outside. He waves a gun at her and orders her back into the mansion.
We open at the Potter B&B, which makes a pleasant change. Joey's helping Pacey run lines for the play, but gets all "skrrrt, NO" when she sees that the next page requires her to get all swoony and lovey-dovey. Oh, sweetie. Just give it a few more episodes.
Democracy Diva: Is it too early to squee? I feel like it's too early to squee.
K: It's never too early to squee.
Democracy Diva: Is it too early to squee? I feel like it's too early to squee.
K: It's never too early to squee.
Murder Warehouse. You can tell by the lighting. Fish is brought in and strapped to a table. She laughs a little even when the transport baddies introduce her to Bob, her torturer. Bob even does a little evil rubber glove snapping, because we need at least one cliche in the first minute, amIright?
Sweeney: We watch a lot of TV - this show is just trying to helpfully assure us that we're on the right show.
Mari: Jada Pinkett Smith and a cliche? Yep. Gotham.
Sweeney: We watch a lot of TV - this show is just trying to helpfully assure us that we're on the right show.
Mari: Jada Pinkett Smith and a cliche? Yep. Gotham.
It’s been nearly two months since I last wrote a Gotham recap, but it still feels like this one came around far too quickly. I know Sweeney and Mari have been feeling really guilty about asking me to recap this show with them, and all I can say is…
Alison is in a phone booth saying very vague things that are both boring and difficult to recap. We cut to Rosewood's One Coffee Shop, where Shana is in a little... phone booth closet? For using cell phones? (S: This is both absurd and exactly the sort of hipster retro bullshit I could see being a real and actual thing at a place like One Coffee Shop.) She watches all the Liars arrive and tells Alison as much. Alison asks Shana for assurance that she can get "it," but Shana has to go because the Liars all turn toward her and are just going to stand there at stare at her, I guess. Spencer asks if they can trust her now and Emily uses the non-human logic that if Ali trusts Shana they should too. That's cool except for the part where Ali is certifiable. BUT OKAY.
Gordon arrives home to an empty apartment, bringing Selina with him. While Selina heads into the kitchen to help herself to food, he reads Barbara’s note in which she apologises for being so jumpy and useless lately, and says she’s leaving town for a while to pull herself together. (M: I even hate Barbara when her presence is merely implied by a letter.) Gordon gets a phone call, so Selina takes the opportunity to sneak a look at the note and pry into Gordon’s personal life while she swigs from a bottle of milk. I see what you did there, show. Selina is the future cow-woman!