Tag: he may be hot but he’s probably a stalker

Supernatural S02 E17 – That’s murder, dude

San Francisco. A pretty young brunette (Madison) is getting drinks with her friends when her boss approaches and says he needs her back at the office because they have a ton of work to do. She calls bullshit. He sheepishly admits it, then begs for a lift. She calmly says she's already called a cab. He walks away, and Madison and her friends laugh. But she stops when she spots a surly looking dude in a leather jacket staring at her creepily from across the bar. She looks worried. Cut to her walking to her car alone. GIRL, NO. When she gets in her car and drives off, Leather Jacket Stalker follows. Cut to Madison's office the following morning. She's making coffee when she spots blood on her boss' office door. She finds him dead on the desk, chest ripped to shreds.

Supernatural S02 E14 – Embrace your feminine side

Dean stands next to the Bromobile by an underpass and phones Ellen in a panic. Sam's been missing for days, there's no sign of him, and Dean's freaking the fuck out because it's like Papa Winchester all over again. Ellen hasn't heard anything. Dean's phone beeps and he looks at the screen to see an incoming call from Sam. He answers, then tells Sam to calm down because he's on his way.
Crappy motel. Sam hangs up the phone and stares at his bloody knuckles. Dean Bromobiles his way to Sam. He reaches the motel and rushes to Sam's room. He panics a little when he finds blood all over Sam's shirt, but Sam assures him it's not his.

Pretty Little Liars S04 E08 – Traumatic mom tears

Mama Fields is on the phone, presumably with the LOLPD, trying to get some answers about the car that was thrown at her house. Apparently, there was no sign of the driver, which Pam finds super hard to believe. After the phone call, Pam tells Emily to quit sulking around the motel and go to her college guidance session.
Hasting's House. Emily, Aria and Spencer are together and worrying about the Fields family. Spencer says that A likes to throw cars at people AND THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING. Wait, did Sara know this was going to happen and inject that language into the recaps early? Whatever is happening here, I like it.

The OC S01 E17 – Stalker Boyfriend Revisited

Open to Seth and Ryan walking across campus.  Ryan is going on about his mistrust of Oliver.  This is totally valid because with my limited knowledge it seems to me that Oliver is bat-shit crazy.  (I should probably mention that I missed this show entirely so I'm almost completely a Snow).  Seth is trying to be comforting but is also being Seth, whose fall back position is sarcastic and nerdy.  I have to say so far my favorite thing about this show is the relationship between Ryan and Seth.  They offset each other well and it does my heart good to see them fall into this friendship. So Ryan is still going on about Oliver and says he and Marissa are fighting a lot about him.  Seth states Ryan is jealous because Oliver is a rich kid with many exotic locations to whisk women off to.  He also uses the phrase "Dapper Don" (really, Seth?) and all I can think of is this even though I have never watched Mad Men:

Dawson’s Creek S01 E10 – Worst plan ever

Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson mopes about the fact that Jen doesn't want to hang out any more now that they're exes and all. Because apparently when you dump someone, you should hang out with them all the time? IDEK. Joey "Voice of Reason" Potter informs him that it sounds like he doesn't want to admit it's over. She tells him there are three main areas to focus on in getting over Jen: 1. Public perception, 2. Prepare himself for Jen to date other people, 3. Having the inevitable "can we still be friends?" conversation with Jen. She asks what he'll say in regards to #3, and he has no idea. He wants to be friends, but he also doesn't because "how could you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them, all you think about is how much more you really want them." Joey, inner pain poked with a stick, says that she thinks it can be done.

Charmed S01 E05 – How not to deal with rejection.

Phoebe runs into Qua ke and some bro comes over to ask if she's a terrorist because she's the bomb. As much as I'm sure I could end the recap there, another random bro taps into this bad pick-up line ring, asking if it hurt when Phoebe fell from heaven. She whispers in his ear that she's a witch, not an angel, because she's on a one woman mission to basically announce that to everyone, ever.
Phoebe joins her sisters, who are staring at a couple making out at the bar. Phoebe and Piper moan about being single. A cheery waitress delivers a drink to Prue and points out the man in the restaurant who sent it to her.

Charmed S01 E01 – Worst boyfriend.

I've tried to mini-recap several shows and nothing ever panned out. If you are reading this post, SUCCESS. If your name is Sweeney, and you are reading this post in our Trash, at least I tried. Tell no one about my failures.
San Francisco under a full moon and lots of rain. A lady feeds her cat, then chants a spell for protection. All the while we see someone sneaking up behind her. She startles, but then relaxes when she sees who it is. Probably she should've stayed on her guard or maybe worked a little harder on that protection spell because the cloaked figure stabs Witchy Cat Lady.

Pretty Little Liars S03 E12 – Zero cousins

We're at some sort of crime or accident scene, and watch as paramedics wheel a gurney into the back of ambulances. A crowd has gathered, and our fabulous and fashionable fibbers are there as well. Hanna is bawling as Aria and Spencer hold her up. A little ways away, Gossip Cop (at least I think it is. I may just be calling every cop who isn't Wilden Gossip Cop) (S: None of them do a whole lot of law officering, so probably accurate.) asks Emily if the deceased was their friend. Emily doesn't answer, and it's probably because Hanna's really loud gasp-crying is super distracting.
Sara: For real though, Hanna, tone it down. Shit.

Orphan Black S01 E06 – Fair.

This episode begins with Alison. She wakes up next to her sleeping, snoring husband, and goes to check her poorly hidden camera. She takes it down to her laundry room of solace to watch the tape. She sees Donnie get up in the middle of the night, but all he does is stand over her and leave before the memory card file fills up.
She comes up to the kitchen to find Donnie grumbling like an asshole about how he has to do everything (LOL, K) as he loads the dishwasher. He sasses her about getting ice because they only have three hours to go until something. Alison asks him where he went in the middle of the night - claiming she woke up to find him gone -

Pretty Little Liars S03 E05 – We Should Write This Show.

The Liars discuss their previous lies: being at Ali's grave the night her body disappeared, pretending to be at the Lake House of Secrets instead, etc. They're on their way to go comfort Hanna about not having a pretty wolf to kiss anymore when an ambulance shows up across the street. The paramedics wheel out Garrett's mom on a stretcher, which doesn't seem that important plot-wise but this is PLL, so.
Also, this neighborhood must be a very strange shape if they all live next door to each other and also next door to Alison's old house and also next door to New Jason and Garrett. It defies all logic. Aria sees a hoodied person watching them, and the girls freak, as usual.

Supernatural S01 E07 – Let’s hook up

A sorority house at Eastern Iowa University. A mousy looking girl dresses for a date in a denim skirt and long sleeved button up blouse. She asks her roommate what she thinks, and said roommate "Oh, honey, no"s her. (S: True friend material.) She crosses to her dresser and grabs a midriff baring lacy red halter top and insists that Mousy Girl wear that instead. After a little reluctance, Mousy Girl puts it on. Ho Suspension Roommate approves and tells her not to do anything she wouldn't. Mousy Girl says that there's nothing she wouldn't do as she heads out. "That's true," Ho Suspension Roommate grins as she flips through her magazine.
Cut to an SUV pulling up under a wooden bridge in the dark. From the shadows, we see a silver hook glint. Mousy Girl says that she thought they were going to a party, and her date says they can't possibly arrive on time. She eyerolls a little at his obviousness, then leans over and kisses him.

Pretty Little Liars S02 E23 – Explosion to the Face

The previouslies include basically everything we've seen so far, including all of the annoying Aria/Ezra crap which means we'll all be gauging our eyes out by the end of this one. Anyways, the episode starts with the girls drinking coffee at a very public coffeehouse and having a very public conversation about their secrets, per usual. The Liars rehash how Ali was dressing up as Wigison to get answers on who 'A' was.
Sweeney: These expository conversations are always so laughably clunky. We're meant to believe that they had some brief conversation about what happened between Aria and the random dude, but actually no conversation was had because they ask Aria questions that amount to, "Please, tell the entire brief story again."

Angel S04 E05 – I don’t get it.

I brought up my recapping method in today's Buffy post. For Angel, it's become a different thing. Namely, I have to power through the episode in a sitting and then come back and recap from memory/skipping around Netflix/transcripts/notes. It's the only way.
That said, I'd be a terrible Internet friend if I didn't tell you that about 5 minutes of this episode is rated BB for [FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE STOCK UP ON THE] Brain Bleach.
Sweeney: I can't believe we didn't make this rating sooner, really:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S06 E06 – Definitely sisters

We open at the Magic Box, where they're having their Halloween Bone-anza, and they should REALLY have thought up a different name for that because that does NOT sound like something I would want to attend. (L: Lots of bone jokes lately...) ANYWAY. Xander's dressed as a pirate and is trying to tell a small child dressed as a fireman that he found the bottle of fireflies he's holding off the coast of Kathmandu. The small child is dubious, and I am too because apparently Xander's never cracked an atlas in his life.
Lorraine: Xander gets points though, this being Talk Like a Pirate Day and all. I swear that's a thing. Also, I clearly have to point out that this child is Beans from Even Stevens. That is all.

Angel S03 E03 – Hangin’ Tough

We open at Lorne's bar with Angel apologising sincerely to someone off camera - he used them and he feels really bad about it. Said off camera person turns out to be Merl the snitch, who doesn't believe Angel's apology on account of he's reading it from a piece of paper.Merl doesn't feel like it's sincere enough, and Angel eye-rolls at the Fang Gang who are still sporting completely terrible hair. Cordy pulls Merl aside for a pep talk while Wes does the same for Angel. Angel eventually offers Merl a free shot at him, and then taunts him until he throws a bottle. At which point Merl gets hurled back by some kind of force field. Angel tries to keep a straight face while Lorne makes the sarcastic excuse that Angel must have "forgotten" that demon violence is impossible in his bar.