Previously: We met a REAL bad boy named Jace and they had a fight about it. — Samantha: Ah hello, dear readers. And welcome back to this hot trash fire called...
Once again, it appears that our dear sweet Steph has zero understanding of what an epilogue is. Because once again, this thing is like a million pages long. Except that as a special treat, Bella's not the narrator for the epilogue. No, friends. Instead of little Bell-bell, we're hanging out in Jacob's head.
Fabulous.
Catherine: Of course. Just what we all wanted after this book.
Fabulous.
Catherine: Of course. Just what we all wanted after this book.
We open with a woman beating the shit out of some steaks with a meat tenderiser the size of Mjolnir. Her husband gets home from work and she's all judgey about how late he is. He snaps at her, then apologises. As he gets a beer from the fridge, she tells him that she ran into a friend and they've been invited to a 40th birthday party at the weekend.
Angel and Gunn start us off with a pede-argument about whether or not they just take on some new case. Angel wants a full risk analysis, Gunn wants to go now, now, now. "Don't want to lose another baby with the bath water," Gunn says with a meaningful head tilt. Angel says fine. They'll send Spike.
Cut to Spike telling them to do it themselves, playing on what looks like a Game Boy Advance. There are Mario sound effects in the background of the rest of this scene. They all bicker back and forth about the super important job: some dead, demon mobster's body needs to be collected. He was a human-tolerant demon so they need to return him to his family to be revived, or else some other, less tolerant demons will take his place. Angel tells Spike to pack his bags and go.
Cut to Spike telling them to do it themselves, playing on what looks like a Game Boy Advance. There are Mario sound effects in the background of the rest of this scene. They all bicker back and forth about the super important job: some dead, demon mobster's body needs to be collected. He was a human-tolerant demon so they need to return him to his family to be revived, or else some other, less tolerant demons will take his place. Angel tells Spike to pack his bags and go.
This episode begins by jumping back to just before Spike took that big old swig of flat Mountain Dew. He's telling Angel how fully not about him this is and then he drinks. As he does, Angel's face burns up and he screams. (K: Reminiscent of when he dreamt of marrying Buffy and then her burning up???) Then he wakes up sweating, sitting at his desk.
Meanwhile, Spike's hanging out at a strip club (K: Is this an I Know Who Killed Me crossover?) when Lindsey shows up, and Spike tells him to fuck off.
Meanwhile, Spike's hanging out at a strip club (K: Is this an I Know Who Killed Me crossover?) when Lindsey shows up, and Spike tells him to fuck off.
We watch as an ambulance carries a broken Kira to the hospital, and then as paramedics rush her into an operating room. Kira and Siobhan follow behind them closely, crying and distraught, until they are told they can go no further. Sarah's outcry makes me... have hay fever. It's the weirdest thing.
Sweeney: IT'S THE WORST. I was already pretty devastated over the wounded child but mother-losing-her-shit is a kind of heartsick that is fully contagious.
Sweeney: IT'S THE WORST. I was already pretty devastated over the wounded child but mother-losing-her-shit is a kind of heartsick that is fully contagious.
Sarah and Cosima are video chatting. Sarah is freaking out because Paul has been called in by Olivier and she hasn't heard from him since. Cosima is cosima-ing, rolling a joint while telling Sarah that everything is totally fine because Paul is on their side. Trouble is, Sarah isn't so sure Paul is on their side. He could be ratting them out at this very moment.
Sweeney: Cosima's nonchalant attitude about serious shit is like Orphan Black's much more intelligent version of the Aria shrug.
Sweeney: Cosima's nonchalant attitude about serious shit is like Orphan Black's much more intelligent version of the Aria shrug.
Gina Torres gushes about how wonderful the gross warehouse is while Connor - still covered in blood - and Angel fawn over her. She kneels next to a comatose Cordy and thanks her for having her free will taken away so that she could exist protecting her. She tells her to be at peace, then gushes some more about how perfect everything is. There's one thing that's not perfect, Angel interjects. And that's the fact that he came there to kill her. He hands her his sword and says that he deserves to be punished. She takes it and says that she can feel his suffering, but that the suffering ends now. He drops his head, bracing himself for the blow, but it never comes. He looks up to find her gone. Cue Electric Cellos.
After the credits, Fred's scurrying around the office, cleaning up fallen books as Lorne watches and sips a cocktail because he's the only sane character in this show. He tells her to stop because she's making him twitchy.
After the credits, Fred's scurrying around the office, cleaning up fallen books as Lorne watches and sips a cocktail because he's the only sane character in this show. He tells her to stop because she's making him twitchy.
Inside the Summers' home, it's somewhat clear that whatever happened at the end of the last episode, it wasn't well thought out. All the Potentials, Giles, Willow, Faith, Xander, Anya and Principal Wood are having a disorganized discussion about how to have organized discussions. Kennedy is pretty much just excited about having more of a say.
Faith keeps trying to calm everyone down. Amanda goes on and on about parliamentary procedure. During this, Giles tries to assure Dawn that what they did was for the best. Dawn says it doesn't feel that way. Finally, Faith tells everyone that they need to chill out and get some sleep. Kennedy wonders if they have time to waste and Faith basically answers, "things suck so let's sleep." I support this plan. It's pretty much the best one we've heard this season.
Faith keeps trying to calm everyone down. Amanda goes on and on about parliamentary procedure. During this, Giles tries to assure Dawn that what they did was for the best. Dawn says it doesn't feel that way. Finally, Faith tells everyone that they need to chill out and get some sleep. Kennedy wonders if they have time to waste and Faith basically answers, "things suck so let's sleep." I support this plan. It's pretty much the best one we've heard this season.
Regardless of what you were when you first watched this episode (book reader, spoiled show watcher, or unspoiled show watcher), I think we all sat down to this episode with the anxiety only the best content can create. It's episode 9, friends, also known as the episode that brought us the beheading of Ned Stark, the Battle of the Blackwater and now this.
Sweeney: I told Lor this already, but in our on-going game of, "Haha, see what shit the other can get stuck with!" -- usually played out on Fifty Shades, and occasionally Buffy -- this was probably the worst draw yet.
Sweeney: I told Lor this already, but in our on-going game of, "Haha, see what shit the other can get stuck with!" -- usually played out on Fifty Shades, and occasionally Buffy -- this was probably the worst draw yet.
Sweeney: The episode starts with Cordelia lamenting all the bills associated with running their business, which is a problem, since Angel isn't really big on collecting payment, as it interferes with being the hero. Doyle agrees that money would be good, but mostly because Cordelia thinks so.
Kirsti: Aww. Bless.
Lorraine: Doyle is hitting on Cordelia in this scene big time, but I spend most of it noticing his beautiful eyes. He looks yummy here. Okay, carry on.
Kirsti: Aww. Bless.
Lorraine: Doyle is hitting on Cordelia in this scene big time, but I spend most of it noticing his beautiful eyes. He looks yummy here. Okay, carry on.
Previously: A new Watcher came to town, Faith got her steal AND her murder on, and the Mayor became indestructible. — Consequences Kirsti: We open underwater to a whole lot...
Sweeney: Oscar pre-party continues! Today we’re sharing all our feels on the actors in leading and supporting roles. As always, share your thoughts and feels and squees and all that...
Previously: The GSP is apparently lurking somewhere inside Grey’s apartment, and still manages to not kill anyone. Ana and Grey flee and stay in a hotel where Ana gets Grey...