Previously: Our love lamp! You let it DIE. — Pre-Witched Marines: Piper and Leo take a shower together and giggle. Piper says they’ve finally found a place where they can be...
Previously: Wynonna has to hunt some demons. It’s a curse. — Keep the Home Fires Burning Marines: Club, people dancing. Wynonna walks in in slow motion, wearing a scowl and more...
Previously: A nice guy and an asshole roll up into the park. — The Stray Marines: 3D PRINTED ROBOTS! Dolores is in an examination room, powered down. Bernie enters and tells...
Previously: It’s like a violent, bloody theme park with robots, we think. — Chestnut Marines: 3D PRINTED ROBOTS. (See? I contained myself.) After the previouslies and the credits, a man’s voice...
We open with the wonderful credits which go on for a half hour because I'm still watching them over and over. (Ha ha. JK. That would be weird...)
Credits over, the scene picks up where we left off last time. Jessica is still feeling up Luke's unbreakable pecs and abs, but this time, in a more sexual manner. She tears off his shirt (M: how is he even getting home now JESSICA) and they start aggressively making out. The pants are quickly unzipped and they have super powered sex against a wall.
Sadly, they're interrupted when the male half of the Creepy Twins peeks in. Jess slams the door in his face.
Credits over, the scene picks up where we left off last time. Jessica is still feeling up Luke's unbreakable pecs and abs, but this time, in a more sexual manner. She tears off his shirt (M: how is he even getting home now JESSICA) and they start aggressively making out. The pants are quickly unzipped and they have super powered sex against a wall.
Sadly, they're interrupted when the male half of the Creepy Twins peeks in. Jess slams the door in his face.
Previously: Reunited and it feels so good! — The Gentleman’s Name is Gorgon Marines: Attilan. Max rounds a corner and suddenly the whole royal family materializes in front of him,...
Previously: Black Bolt escaped from prison. — Make Way for… Medusa Dani: The previouslies remind us that Lockjaw got hit by an ATV. (There’s other stuff, too, but I know you...
Previously: Eleven saw Will. Hopper and Joyce got caught. — The Upside Down Marines: Hawkins National Laboratory. Joyce is handcuffed and in an interrogation room. She’s yelling for someone to...
Previously: Nancy went via tree into the Vale of Shadows. — The Monster Marines: I wrote the first 3 episodes about a week in advance, but since then, I’ve been writing...
Previously: Nancy and Jonathan share information and realize something weird is definitely up. — The Flea and the Acrobat Marines: Night time at the Hawkins National Laboratory. The shot from...
Previously: BARBARA! YOU DESERVE BETTER! — Holly, Jolly Marines: Barbara lands on her back. She’s in what looks like a snowy nightmare version of a woods. I hate it. She gets...
Alley. Bloody dumpster. A young on his way to take out the trash finds a bloody guy in the dumpster instead, so he understandably drops the trash bag and runs. Hopefully for help, but I wouldn't judge the kid if not. This is an awfully murder-y alley. The bloody guy in the dumpster? It's Matt and he's not doing so well.
We start where we left off, with Hannah making her way through the crowd, looking for the shooter. She pulls out her gun, someone yells "gun," there is sudden, general chaos, Hanna fires at the window. Her bullet hits the window frame and the sniper is still able to fire his own bullet. Secret Service agents take Hannah down. Tom pushes Alex down to safety. He looks at her and notices that there is blood on her shirt. He tells her she's been shot, but the blood isn't hers. It's his. Tom looks at his shoulder and he's like, "oh shit."
Our singing recapper (the fabulous Jonathan Coulton) gets a small cameo in this week’s “previously on” bit. But then he gets infected by space bugs, and his head explodes, so I guess the exposure won’t exactly boost his career now.
We begin with Rochelle and Laurel staring at the mysterious SRB-54 door that the guy who attacked Rochelle went through after they released him in the last episode. Laurel prepares a fake package and tries to scope out the room when she delivers it. She spots Dr. Samira, the guy who testified that Syria was behind the exploding heads (even though they weren’t), but then the rude guy who opened the door (Jacob Pitts, Justified) slams it in her face.
We begin with Rochelle and Laurel staring at the mysterious SRB-54 door that the guy who attacked Rochelle went through after they released him in the last episode. Laurel prepares a fake package and tries to scope out the room when she delivers it. She spots Dr. Samira, the guy who testified that Syria was behind the exploding heads (even though they weren’t), but then the rude guy who opened the door (Jacob Pitts, Justified) slams it in her face.
It's 3 months later from last episode, because they don't want to do Christmas or winter anymore. (S: Yeah, this time jump was jarring.) We open on Mona's funeral. Our four Liars walk out of the church, commenting on the contents of the casket, which does not include a body. Nothing has been found out since Mona's disappearance/murder, and Spencer has been the only arrest. She's negative about the chances of the Bethany letter they discovered last episode making any difference. She thinks they should have told Detective Tanner about the perceived Holbrook/Alison affair, but Toby says Tanner wouldn't believe them and “needs to find out on her own.”