79 Posts

Tag: I feel a little FLASHBACK coming on

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#snarkathon – Spiceworld

I was nine years old in 1997, when Spiceworld marched into theaters with the ferocity and panache of Posh Spice at choreography boot camp. For those who were not a child, tween, or teen in the late 90s, you may not be able to understand why this movie even exists. But insane as it is, I promise you, there was a market for this insanity, and I was IT. I know every word to every song in this "film" (ironic quotations marks required), and to me, it is prime snarking fodder. Let us begin!
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Game of Thrones S05 E01 – Never wake a sleeping blood mage.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • May 5, 2015
  • 23 Comments
Everything is usually so shiny and bright when a new season starts! I'll admit that I'm more hesitant than normal this time 'round because season four started off on such a prolonged, sour note. However, I still got pretty damn giddy when the credits music started. Here we are again, friends! Ready or not.
Democracy Diva: READY. So ready. I may have been running around my apartment singing the GoT theme song to myself in preparation. Also, hi, Traumateers! I'm so excited to be joining the GoT recaps.
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Gotham S01 E19 – Fifty Shades of Nope Nope Nope

  • Posted byby Alex
  • May 1, 2015
  • 15 Comments
Fish and her snazzy new eye gaze thoughtfully out of the window at Organ Donor Island. She heads downstairs and schmoozes a little with some of the rich patients, who are having a grand old time at the fancy facility while recovering from their illegal transplants. Then she sneaks into an empty room and breaks open the door to take a casual stroll outside, where she spots a helicopter. Just then, some dudes with guns pull up in a car, led by a guy calling himself 'The Catcher'. She introduces herself and feigns ignorance about not being allowed outside. He waves a gun at her and orders her back into the mansion.
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Pretty Little Liars S05 E01 – Extra-deranged.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • April 9, 2015
  • 11 Comments
The happiest two seconds of the entire series happen when an EMT says Ezra's pulse is getting weaker. The only one who is sad about this is Aria. Her friends hold her back and tell her she shouldn't go with Ezra to the hospital because then the pesky cops will start asking her questions. Apparently, no one from the NYPD notices Aria hyperventilating after Ezra; they are busy questioning Noel Khan. Alison is on a fire escape, watching the ambulance ride by. A is-- TRUE STORY-- riding on the top of the ambulance like some kind of extra-deranged Spider-Man. I hate this show.
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E24 – Non-reveals

  • Posted byby Marines
  • March 27, 2015
  • 20 Comments
Apartment somewhere. The Liars are impatiently waiting on something. Behind them, Noel Kahn says he'll be right back. Apparently, he's the "what are you doing here? DRAMATIC CUT TO BLACK" from last episode. (J: terrible pay off.) When he leaves, the Liars wonder at the smartness of following Noel Kahn and further wonder why Alison would trust him. They don't hear the Foley guys given them an extra loud door opening sound, so they all jump up when Alison answers, "because he has secrets too."
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Supernatural S03 E08 – Merry Murdermas

  • Posted byby K
  • March 14, 2015
  • 12 Comments
Seattle, one year ago. A grandfather is greeted at the door by his grandson, who asks if his grandfather has brought Christmas presents. The grandfather is all "Pff, NO" because that's Santa's job. After the kid's asleep, the grandfather dresses up as Santa and rings a set of bells. The kid sneaks down the stairs and watches as Grandpa Santa puts presents under the tree. There's a thump on the roof, and the kid excitedly whispers to himself that it must be reindeer. Some soot falls down the chimney, and Grandpa Santa looks over in surprise before going closer to investigate. Obviously, something grabs him and drags him up the chimney with a series of crunching sounds.
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E23 – Dem bones

  • Posted byby Jessica
  • March 13, 2015
  • 8 Comments
Nighttime in the woods. Spencer wanders around in a bridal dress, getting tangled in the trees. She is being stalked by a black clothed figure, then we hear a stabbing sort of sound and she gasps. Is something exciting about to happen, you ask? Or something about to be revealed? PSYCH! No. Not even close.
“48 hours earlier” appears across the screen. Ah, that old trope.
Rosewood's one coffee shop. All four Liars are discussing the fact that Paige tipped the cops off about Ali being alive.
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E22 – Your brain on drugs

  • Posted byby Marines
  • March 3, 2015
  • 7 Comments
Spencer is in her room unpacking the bag she took to rehab and snapping at her mom. She apologizes and says that she's just irritable because of that whole 'kicking her drug habit' thing. Mariska Mom takes it in stride, which is the least she can do after being a horrible mother 95% of the time. Spencer has some weird flashbacks to the night Ali died and her mom suggests she get some rest.
Jessica: Well, PLL solved Spencer's rehab the same way Gotham solves everything — skip to the end.
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Gotham S01 E06 – Eat the rich

  • Posted byby Alex
  • October 30, 2014
  • 13 Comments
The consensus last week seemed to be that the episode was about 2% better than the previous ones, so things might slowly be moving in the right direction. That said, this episode is called ‘Spirit of the Goat’, so don’t hold your breath.
Sweeney: I think the trick is in keeping our expectations nice and low. Terrible show, terrible titles, etc., etc. so that we end up pleased if it even achieves general mediocrity.
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Veronica Mars S02 E18 – Expository dreams

In what I thought was a flashback but is definitely a dream, Veronica envisions herself on the bus, with the bus crash victims. She's crying, and there's a girl in a tee shirt that says "I <3 DICK," so, um, yeah. I have absolutely no idea what's going on, and that's a feeling that will continue throughout this episode. Back in reality, someone wakes Veronica up and sends her to the school counselor. Veronica defends her bad behavior to the guidance counselor (namely, wearing headphones and sleeping in class, ripping down other students' posters, etc.) and jokes that she's being haunted by the bus crash victims. Except she's really not joking - she's seeing them every time she tries to fall asleep.
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Supernatural S02 E16 – A sixth sense

  • Posted byby K
  • October 25, 2014
  • 12 Comments
Previously: The Trickster turned up and laid out a ton of punishment on various douchebags, and it was awesome.  Roadkill Kirsti: We open on a generic two-lane highway at night. A...
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Veronica Mars S02 E17 – Felixback

  • Posted byby Marines
  • October 24, 2014
  • 9 Comments
Welcome dear friends. We've been a little less than consistent with these recaps in the last week or two, just due to crazy IRL schedules. Veronica recaps tend to take me longer than most, too, so unfortunately they suffer when things get hectic. Sincere apologies and on we go!
We open up in a classroom at Neptune High where a cheery teacher announces that Logan is the winner of Steven Guttenberg's essay contest on freedom. The teacher hangs up the essay in case anyone wants to read it. The bell rings and Veronica makes a beeline for the essay. She reads over a sentence or two and sasses back over to Logan. She quotes a bit of Logan's essay, but actually, she's quoting "Easy Rider," which Logan made her watch while they were dating. She's on to his plagiarizing ways.
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How to Get Away with Murder S01 E01 – #livingthedream

Democracy Diva: Welcome, Traumateers! I am thrilled to be using my status as a barred-but-under-employed attorney to help Sweeney and Lorraine snark the new Shonda Rhimes drama "How to Get Away with Murder."
Lorraine: I'm cracking up already. #livingthedream
Sweeney: You too can spend lots of money/time/sanity on law school so that you can write about it on the internet. For free.
Diva: Like a boss.
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Supernatural S02 E08 – Here, doggy doggy

  • Posted byby K
  • September 24, 2014
  • 29 Comments
Greenwood, Mississippi, 1938. In a bar, Robert Johnson (well, an actor playing Robert Johnson, anyway) plays the blues and it's kind of awesome.
Everyone in the room is listening intently. He stops when he hears a dog barking, but no one else moves. It happens again, and he looks terrified, then runs from the room. Everyone else looks hella confused. He barricades himself in a house, hearing a dog barking and scraping outside the door. His friends break in and find him convulsing on the floor, mumbling about black dogs.
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Supernatural S02 E07 – Not that Giles.

  • Posted byby K
  • September 20, 2014
  • 14 Comments
A police station in Baltimore. A detective grabs a fax off the machine, reads it, and tells the person he's talking to that he'll call them back. Cut to a SWAT team at the Motel of the Week. Cut back to Detective Cheap Suit [DCS] talking to a suspect in an interrogation room. He thought the suspect had just upped his game on the petty stuff, then they got a fax from St. Louis about Mystery Suspect killing someone. "So now we know Karen Giles wasn't the first person you murdered," he says. He pronouces Giles as Guylz, and I want to punch him in the face.
Across town, LINDA FREAKING BLAIR (better known as Regan from The Exorcist) and the SWAT team break down a motel room door. "Going somewhere, Sam?" she says.