134 Posts

Tag: I hate this fictional character so hard

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E01 – Extra-deranged.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • April 9, 2015
  • 11 Comments
The happiest two seconds of the entire series happen when an EMT says Ezra's pulse is getting weaker. The only one who is sad about this is Aria. Her friends hold her back and tell her she shouldn't go with Ezra to the hospital because then the pesky cops will start asking her questions. Apparently, no one from the NYPD notices Aria hyperventilating after Ezra; they are busy questioning Noel Khan. Alison is on a fire escape, watching the ambulance ride by. A is-- TRUE STORY-- riding on the top of the ambulance like some kind of extra-deranged Spider-Man. I hate this show.
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The OC S03 E03 – The Eyebrows Can Only Take So Much

  • Posted byby Katie
  • April 2, 2015
  • 10 Comments
The Core Four are sitting in the diner, with Summer lamenting Ryan and Marissa’s expulsions from Harbor. Ryan and Marissa try to tell her it won’t be that bad, but Summer says it will be for Seth, seeing how before Ryan, he was bullied by people who called him “Death Breath Seth,” and Marissa’s like, uh, YOU called him that. Summer ignores that and says this was supposed to be the best year ever. All Ryan and Marissa want is to go back to school, but Summer tells them it’ll be okay as long as they stick together.
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Gotham S01 E17 – New character danger

  • Posted byby Marines
  • March 19, 2015
  • 12 Comments
A crime van pulls up along a curb. A bunch of people get off, including one dude who was stuffed in the itty bitty trunk, even though there are at least three rows of seats in the van proper. Your friends suck, mate.
The five criminals walk in a line and Trunk Dude whips out his RED HOOD. The boss man asks him WTF is up with the hood and the Sucky Mates wonder if they should've gotten hoods too. Boss Man look a little put-off but not enough to stop the heist. They bust into the bank and Red Hood pushes to the front and starts with the dramatics, yelling at everyone that they just want the money and hopping up on the teller desk.
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The OC S03 E02 – Pancakes with extra butter and a side of NOPE

  • Posted byby Annie
  • March 16, 2015
  • 4 Comments
We start in the Cohen kitchen, where it looks like rabid raccoons have just finished having a banquet. Haha, nope. The kitchen is filthy because the lady of the house has been away, and we all know only women know how to keep a kitchen clean. (M: It's coded in that extra X chromosome. #science)
Sandy Eyebrows Cohen is expressing how important it is for them all to still eat together as a family because it’s a special day for Seth and Ryan; the first day of their senior year.
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Gotham S01 E16 – Cirque du Suck

  • Posted byby Alex
  • March 5, 2015
  • 9 Comments
We open with a few quick establishing shots of various Gotham residents: Bruce is asleep on the sofa, his murder-investigation notebook open on his lap. Penguin is proudly watching his mother singing on stage in his new club. Fish wakes up on the floor of her prison and claps her hands, giving her fellow captives permission to get up and drink some water.
Clocktower Apartment and OH, GOODIE. Barbara’s back. (M: NOOOOOO.) She arrives home wearing a sexy black dress to find Selina and Ivy camped out in the living room. Selina explains that Jim dropped off his keys last week.
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Gotham S01 E15 – Butter knife coup

  • Posted byby Alex
  • March 4, 2015
  • 14 Comments
It’s a stormy night in Gotham. (M: WHAT?! It's usually so bright and cheery.) A random guy with white hair arrives home to his Generic Gotham Apartment and grumbles about the wind blowing through an open window. He goes to shut it, but two guys in hoodies appear and grab him as he screams in terror.
Fish wakes up on the floor in some kind of prison, dashing my hopes that her leaving Gotham the city for a while also meant she would be leaving Gotham the show. Sigh. She asks the friendly-looking guy nearby if she’s dreaming, and he replies that he hopes so. Two scary-looking thugs saunter over, chuckling to themselves.
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E22 – Your brain on drugs

  • Posted byby Marines
  • March 3, 2015
  • 7 Comments
Spencer is in her room unpacking the bag she took to rehab and snapping at her mom. She apologizes and says that she's just irritable because of that whole 'kicking her drug habit' thing. Mariska Mom takes it in stride, which is the least she can do after being a horrible mother 95% of the time. Spencer has some weird flashbacks to the night Ali died and her mom suggests she get some rest.
Jessica: Well, PLL solved Spencer's rehab the same way Gotham solves everything — skip to the end.
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Charmed S02 E08 – For some reason.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • February 11, 2015
  • 30 Comments
We start at someplace called Camp Skylark. Prue is staring at a lake and she broods all the way into a flashback of the day Mama Halliwell drowned. We watch her being zipped up into a body bag, while Baby!Prue yells for her mommy. A police officer scoops her up, but then just puts her down within dead-mommy-viewing distance. Thanks a lot, cop. In the present, Prue is still crying and staring at the lake.
Stephanie: I had no idea this was how Mama Halliwell died. Was I supposed to?
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E09 – Strictly ballroom

  • Posted byby K
  • February 9, 2015
  • 7 Comments
We open, as always, in the Shrine o' Spielberg where Pacey and Jen are making out. DUDE, NO. Who breaks into their best friend's house (although given the ladder, it's not REALLY breaking in, I guess??) to make out in their bed? Gross.
Democracy Diva: Also, pick a sexier room than the Shrine O'Spielberg to make out in. Avoid having E.T. watch you do the nasty at all costs.
K: Truth.
Anyway, the making out stops because they agree that they still have zero sexual interest in the other person. They discuss their past history and how everything should be falling into place because they came prepared (Pacey flashes condoms) and picked the perfect location (ugh).
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Gotham S01 E12 – Electric Stuff

  • Posted byby Alex
  • January 26, 2015
  • 18 Comments
It’s been nearly two months since I last wrote a Gotham recap, but it still feels like this one came around far too quickly. I know Sweeney and Mari have been feeling really guilty about asking me to recap this show with them, and all I can say is…
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The OC S02 E17 – Naked mistakes

Mallory: We start off with what is basically my dream come true: Sandy Cohen offering up chicken parm for dinner. Kirsten is too preoccupied talking to Carter about Newport Living magazine to appreciate Sandy’s chivalry. Seth and Ryan swoop in to grab their chicken parm and get back to a “very crucial Playstation game,” but Sandy traps them into a family dinner. He puts his foot down hard about the family dinner - I’ve never seen anyone seem quite so intimidating while wearing a lavender cashmere v-neck.
Marines: I almost hate to say it but not really: it's the eyebrows.
Sweeney: The eyebrows explain it all.
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E17 – Tooth trauma

  • Posted byby Jessica
  • December 5, 2014
  • 15 Comments
Aria and Emily are walking together at night, talking about the movie they just saw (and a really annoying person who kept talking during it– for whom a special level of hell exists).
Aria brings up Spencer, and things get awkward. Aria says that Spencer was trying to protect her (by stalking her), but Emily said she was just being controlling. Emily's annoyed and believes they'll never hear from Ali again. Somehow, I find that doubtful.
Marines: It's cruel to suggest that could happen, show.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E03 – Cheating won’t get you a 1430

  • Posted byby K
  • December 4, 2014
  • 16 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson's plans for a get-to-know-you movie night with Eve have gone awry because a) she prefers TV and b) she's taken over said TV and is making him watch Felicity. I laugh for approximately a hundred years over his "HOW CAN YOU PREFER TV?!?!?!" reaction. She says TV is the same thing but "shorter and with built in bathroom breaks" and she's not at all wrong. Dawson scoffs some more, particularly when she says it's like getting a new sequel every week, because "Sequels I hate on principle". Ugh. Go fuck yourself, Dawson Leery. I'll just be over here with Captain America: The Winter Soldier, shitting all over your arguments.
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Gotham S01 E09 – Fun with ringtones

  • Posted byby Alex
  • November 23, 2014
  • 16 Comments
Gordon arrives home to an empty apartment, bringing Selina with him. While Selina heads into the kitchen to help herself to food, he reads Barbara’s note in which she apologises for being so jumpy and useless lately, and says she’s leaving town for a while to pull herself together. (M: I even hate Barbara when her presence is merely implied by a letter.) Gordon gets a phone call, so Selina takes the opportunity to sneak a look at the note and pry into Gordon’s personal life while she swigs from a bottle of milk. I see what you did there, show. Selina is the future cow-woman!
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E15 – Get help yesterday.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 21, 2014
  • 7 Comments
We pick up right after the last episode, with the girls hanging out at the mausoleum, the hot spot of all the young liars in town. Spencer has flipped through the journal and doesn't recognize any of the names in it. Hanna says that Ali changed the names around, because she was the kind of girl who even lied to her own diary, or something. Spencer wonders why Hanna kept this to herself for so long and she tries to carefully explain that there is stuff in there that they may not know about each other or stuff they may want to forget. Emily and Spencer get snippy with her for keeping the thing to herself, but Aria calms everyone down.