134 Posts

Tag: I hate this fictional character so hard

Categories

Gotham S01 E08 – #deep

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 15, 2014
  • 14 Comments
A very worried man in suspenders is trying to make his way unnoticed through an what looks like an office/storage area. He slips on a ski mask and makes a run for it, but another identically dressed man leaps out at him. A fight ensues, and it's a little hard to keep track of what's going on because I don't know who is who. One Ski Mask Man rips the blade off a paper cutter and uses that to attack the Two Ski Mask Man. All said and done, One Ski Mask Man cuts Two's finger off, but in the end, it is Two who wrestles away the blade and hacks One to death. Two lifts off his mask and reveals he is not the original, very worried man we saw. RIP Very Worried Man. We never knew ye. Two looks toward a nearby survellaince camera and now we're watching him on the video. He lifts his arm in some sort of salute at whoever is watching him.
Categories

Pretty Little Liars S04 E11 – ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

At Rosewood High School for Processing your Stalkers, the Pretty Little Liars recap the last episode for us - the squatter in the DiLaurentis crawlspace and CeCe blaming all of these then-14-year-olds  for getting her 21-year-old ass kicked out of college.
Marines: I feel it's my obligation to say that one of the girls say that napping isn't living, which is just more proof that they are doing life wrong.
Sweeney: We just need to sit them all down and have a chat.
Categories

The OC S02 E07 – The Ties that B(l)ind

  • Posted byby Ifeoluwa
  • October 23, 2014
  • 9 Comments
A little backstory, I grew up watching a ton of high school dramas: Saved by the Bell, California Dreams, The OC, and the more recent Gossip Girl. I spent my formative years in Nigeria and everything I knew about the American Education system, I learned from these shows, all of the Bring it On movies and the numerous college drama themed movies I cannot remember. Imagine my surprise and indignation when I came over to the States for college and it was nothing like Hollywood portrayed. College wasn’t an endless party filled with cute, flirty boys, I never became best friends with my roommate, and everything I had been lead to believe was a damn lie!
To be fair, I attended a small liberal arts college that also happens to be the first of the Seven Sisters, and one of the few women’s colleges still in existence. Had I really wanted an All American College Experience TM, I probably should have gone anywhere but there.
Categories

Dawson’s Creek S02 E16 – More gay than ever

Shrine O'Spielberg. Pacey has run right over because Dawson is in panic mode. It's mere minutes away from Dawson's sixteenth birthday, and Dawson thinks he is still as useless a human being as he was a year ago. Yup. Definitely true.
Kirsti: SO TRUE OMG.
Diva: Dawson waves around a bloody prop hand (that's not British slang - it actually has fake blood on it) as he wonders why he has gotten nowhere in the last year. Maybe it has something to do with your room looking like a murder crime scene? Dawson says that all he did in the last year was figure out his feelings for Joey, and she dumped him for a gay guy.
Categories

Dawson’s Creek S02 E12 – Hugs for Intern Pacey

hrine O'Spielberg. Pacey is playing Dawson while Dawson tries to add something anyone but him gives a shit about character details to his script. Dawson explains that The Great Santini is about father-son angst, which Pacey knows a bit about. Dawson proves he understands nothing about his best friend by saying dumb things, like this:
The boys establish that they have a father-son fishing trip coming up this weekend with both their fathers. Pacey wants to know if Dawson respects his dad; he replies, "I'd hate to live in a world where I didn't." Ugh. What a drama queen. Just say yes. Anyway, Pacey insists that this isn't a real answer, but he gives a similar non-answer when Dawson turns the question on him. (K: FEELS)
Categories

Dawson’s Creek S02 E09 – Clinton vs Bitch

  • Posted byby K
  • September 18, 2014
  • 16 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. Jen's reading Dawson's movie script while he freaks out in the background. When she finishes, he asks what she thinks, and she says "The truth truth or the what-Dawson-wants-to-hear truth?", which is totally legit. He assumes this means she hates it. She assures him that she doesn't hate it, but that it's fluff. I laugh hysterically because let's be perfectly honest here - Dawson is writing real person fan fic about him and Joey, and it is 10,000% fluff. Dawson gets offended, which only gets worse when Jen says that the script felt naive.
He rambles about "the age of innocence," and this officially sounds like the worst fan fic on the face of the earth, except maybe ones that are written in the second person.
Democracy Diva: And, you know, Fifty Shades of Grey.
Categories

Dawson’s Creek S02 E06 – I don’t dance

We begin with Andie performing a flawless rendition of the Footloose dance for Joey, Dawson, and Pacey. It's the greatest thing to happen on this show since Pacey's Braveheart speech. I will take a moment to repeat what I say in every single episode, which is WHY ARE THERE EVEN OTHER CHARACTERS ON THIS SHOW BESIDES ANDIE AND PACEY. Oh, and Jack
Kirsti: Truth. At least at this point of the show. Some of the other characters would be permitted to return at certain points, but Dawson would be gone forever if I were running this show.
Diva: Any-tangent, Andie is trying to convince the three least school-spirited kids on earth to go to the homecoming dance.
Categories

Dawson’s Creek S02 E03 – Playing house

  • Posted byby K
  • August 28, 2014
  • 15 Comments
Leery Manor. Mitch pulls down the ladder to Dawson's bedroom, telling Dawson that he's just taking precautions against late night creeping around. Dawson tells his father that he's just in denial about the fact that his kid is "a sexual being." I throw up in my mouth.
Mitch asks if he and Joey are having sex, and Dawson replies that they aren't but biologically they can. I throw up some more because EW NO. He says that Mitch needs to accept that someday, his son will have sex and stop locking windows and removing ladders because it won't do any good. He follows that up with the notion that Mitch should just let him and Joey hang out alone in his room. Mitch is all "LOL NOPE" and leaves. Joey steps out of the closet (LOL) and starts kissing Dawson.
Categories

Dawson’s Creek S02 E01 – Bad decisions and bad hair

  • Posted byby K
  • August 21, 2014
  • 22 Comments
We pick up exactly where we left off last season, with Dawson and Joey eating each other's faces in the Shrine o' Spielberg. Shit gets monumentally awkward when the kiss ends and Dawson wonders aloud what this means for them now. Joey says they should sleep on it, and Dawson stares at his bed in terror. But no, Joey means they should sleep in their respective beds. Dawson says with a smile that it'll be a like a dream when he wakes up. Joey interprets this as him wishing it had never happened, and glares at him before heading for the window. He stops her and says that's the exact opposite of what he wants. They face-nom some more.
Democracy Diva: So much miscommunication! So much face nomming! I'm already exhausted.
Categories

The OC S01 E16 – Never Listen to Marissa Cooper

  • Posted byby Ashlea
  • August 21, 2014
  • 40 Comments
I'm going to try to prevent myself from flailing all over this post.  Let me just get this out of my system.  THE O.C!!  I'M SNARKING AN EPISODE OF THE O.C.!!  SETH COHEN!!  Ahem.
Lorraine: I like your method of getting it all out on the front end. Already off to a good start.
Ashlea: The episode opens at the I'm-Not-Really-A-Bachelor-Yet Pad of Jimmy Cooper, with Marissa skipping down the stairs to open the door for the smarmy douchebag, Oliver.  He pulls the pity-me card and asks to come in.  Of course Marissa lets him, because she's SO troubled and tortured and her soul resonates with his or some such crap.  Really it's because she's not the brightest bulb in the lamp.  Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the I-Hate-Marissa-Cooper Club. (L: Not there yet? Keep watching this episode.)
Categories

Supernatural S01 E22 – Big Bad O’Clock

  • Posted byby K
  • August 20, 2014
  • 29 Comments
We pick up where we left off, with the boys phoning Papa Winchester and Meg answering. She tells Dean he'll never see his father again, and Dean hangs up. He starts grabbing his stuff and tells Sam they have to go because the demon knows they've got the Colt and now that it has Papa Winchester, it'll come after them next. Sam's all "GOOD. COME AT ME, BRO!", but Dean insists that they're leaving.
Cut to the Bromobile. Dean says that they need to work out where Papa Winchester's being kept so they can trade him for the Colt. Sam suggests that Papa Winchester might be dead already, and Dean gets angry. Sam backs down and wants to know how they'll find him. "We need help," Dean replies, and the Bromobile bros on through the night.
Categories

Dawson’s Creek S01 E12 – Pretty Woman Lite

  • Posted byby K
  • August 8, 2014
  • 24 Comments
It's finally here!! The episode that every Dawson's Creek viewer - casual or devoted - remembers from season 1. NGL, I *may* have bribed Diva to let me do the first recap solely so that this episode fell to me...
Democracy Diva: And I may have agreed begrudgingly because THIS EPISODE, YOU GUYS. IT IS THE BEST/WORST/EVERYTHING-EST.
Categories

Dawson’s Creek S01 E10 – Worst plan ever

  • Posted byby K
  • August 1, 2014
  • 12 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson mopes about the fact that Jen doesn't want to hang out any more now that they're exes and all. Because apparently when you dump someone, you should hang out with them all the time? IDEK. Joey "Voice of Reason" Potter informs him that it sounds like he doesn't want to admit it's over. She tells him there are three main areas to focus on in getting over Jen: 1. Public perception, 2. Prepare himself for Jen to date other people, 3. Having the inevitable "can we still be friends?" conversation with Jen. She asks what he'll say in regards to #3, and he has no idea. He wants to be friends, but he also doesn't because "how could you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them, all you think about is how much more you really want them." Joey, inner pain poked with a stick, says that she thinks it can be done.
Categories

Supernatural S01 E20 – Antique gun of mystery

  • Posted byby Sara
  • July 2, 2014
  • 17 Comments
Manning, Colorado. A man sits at a bar, flipping through a book that looks very similar to Papa Winchester's Filofax of Shadows. The bartender addresses him as Mr. Elkins and asks if he'll be having anything else to drink. He says yes, and as she fixes him a drink, another patron makes a comment about how creepy the guy sitting alone is. Which is funny coming from a guy who is also sitting alone at a bar and flirting with a waitress who is way out of his league. She shares that Mr. Elkins is a nice old man who lives up in the canyon by himself and flips through that old book on a regular basis. And also, he's kind of a nut.
Three people dressed in leather come in, and Mr. Elkins immediately freezes in his seat while discreetly checking them out.
Categories

Pretty Little Liars S03 E11 – Not Your Cousin

  • Posted byby Sara
  • April 29, 2014
  • 15 Comments
Hanna and Spencer are in the former's room as she tries on outfits and complains that nothing covers the bandage on her leg from her gigantic improbable stab wound. There's always... pants?
Lorraine: MIND BLOWN. The Improbable Wound is mid-thigh. I'm not sure she should be having this much difficulty finding something to cover it.
Sweeney: You live in Pennsylvania. There's no way that you don't own clothing that will cover past mid-thigh. Winter is coming, girl. (Eventually. One day. Maybe.)