Previously: The Ghost of Submissives Past finally got around to being threatening. Ana offered her some tea. No one died. — Lorraine: After Ana returned home drunk, confused and perhaps...
Previously: Ana attends a charity event hosted by Grey’s parents with balls in her vagina. That’s not a metaphor for anything; there were actual balls in her vagina. — Lorraine:...
Previously: Joyce dated a robot and earned herself a million negative Sandy Cohen Eyebrows. Also, Ms Calendar shot Giles in the back with an arrow. — Bad Eggs Kirsti: You...
Previously: Grey adds to his probable rapist cred by revealing that being told, “No” turns him on. Ana tries to barter sexytimes for information, and manages to get this excellent...
Previously: Ana and Grey send each other a ton of emails all about how Ana doesn’t like to be spanked and how Grey will track her down wherever she goes....
Previously: Ana graduates college but that doesn’t really matter. The big news is that Ana has finally agreed to be Grey’s submissive. Put that on your resume, girl. — Lorraine:...
The first few pages of this chapter gave me a really weird, uncomfortable, sex-ed class vibe. See, Ana's having this dream about being tied up to a bed. Grey is above her wielding a leather riding crop, trailing it along her body until he gets to her vagAna. A few flicks of it and Ana's orgasm is waking her up from her dream.
The weird part is that Ana is astounded. She's never had a wet dream before, and by goly, she didn't even know dreaming about sex was possible! I swear to you she thinks, "I didn't know I could dream sex."
The weird part is that Ana is astounded. She's never had a wet dream before, and by goly, she didn't even know dreaming about sex was possible! I swear to you she thinks, "I didn't know I could dream sex."
This book is the biggest slight of hand in the history of the world. Forget making an airplane disappear on my TV, or whatever. E.L. James just shat on paper and sold a millionties of books, right before your very eyes.
I'm sorry. I try not to open with so much meanness. I like to disguise my distaste with capslocks and diatribes on the evils of toothbrush sharing. It's just that we open this chapter with Ana forgetting about how uneasy the Sexy Times Contract made her, uh, YESTERDAY and is now worried that Grey won't have her at all. Pout.
I'm sorry. I try not to open with so much meanness. I like to disguise my distaste with capslocks and diatribes on the evils of toothbrush sharing. It's just that we open this chapter with Ana forgetting about how uneasy the Sexy Times Contract made her, uh, YESTERDAY and is now worried that Grey won't have her at all. Pout.
For Christmas this year, we’re blessing you all with the best thing to ever come to Sweet Valley, “The Evil Twin” mini-series. Catch up with the links below before continuing...
Sweet Valley High #096 “The Arrest ” – Or the one where we think of lots of ways for Jessica to die.
We’re back with our third installment of A Very Sweet Valley Christmas, Childhood Trauma’s gift to you. Part 1 can be found here, and part 2 can be found here.—Sara:...
Previously: Liz and Jess decided they wanted a Jungle Prom and they both wanted to be the Prom Queen. Jess took it a little too seriously, though, when she decided...
Previously: Kristy’s cuntiness is rivaled when a snob in her neighborhood makes fun of her dead dog. Their book long hatred is solved, however, when Kristy throws pizza on the...
Lorraine: And before you judge me preemptively for the title of this post, let me go ahead and show you the cover of this book: In case you were wondering,...
Previously: Kristy complained about living in a mansion a lot, because she’s the kind of cunty person who would. She also manages to make her mother’s wedding day all about...