Previously: A zombie dragon blasted the wall down. — Democracy Diva: We made it. Welcome to the final season. Let’s fucking do this. Marines: There is only one correct gif for this...
Yaaaaaaaaay it's the Supergirl/The Flash crossover episode!!!!!! I watch The Flash, over on Supergirl's new home, The CW. I enjoy it A LOT more than Supergirl. It's my favorite currently airing tv show, even if the season 2 finale DID enrage me. ANYWAY I'M EXCITED.
Catherine: Good that you're keeping your expectations in check here, Sammy.
Samantha: Shoot for the moon!!!!! Or maybe Saturn!!!
Catherine: Good that you're keeping your expectations in check here, Sammy.
Samantha: Shoot for the moon!!!!! Or maybe Saturn!!!
WE MADE IT. Dear God we made it.
More feelings soon, recap first: we start with Selina actually outside, without a home, probably because it will be plot convenient shortly. She's warming her hands by a trash can fire when she spots across the Gotham river (sea? lake? IDK.) Fish standing at the front of a boat. IDK how the boat got involved after the helicopter, but OKAY. She looks like the Reaper because she's coming to bring death! But no worries for us because it's probably only to her one season long contract. #nonspoileryspoilers
More feelings soon, recap first: we start with Selina actually outside, without a home, probably because it will be plot convenient shortly. She's warming her hands by a trash can fire when she spots across the Gotham river (sea? lake? IDK.) Fish standing at the front of a boat. IDK how the boat got involved after the helicopter, but OKAY. She looks like the Reaper because she's coming to bring death! But no worries for us because it's probably only to her one season long contract. #nonspoileryspoilers
P^3. Piper is behind the bar chopping up some kind of fruit I can't identify because I only eat cake and potato chips. (M: I'm eating potato chips as I comment. High five!) Phoebe shows up clad in pink fuzz, all excited because she's just enrolled in college. This show doesn't have enough boring side plots, so here's another one. Phoebe needs some help narrowing down which classes to take, but Piper coughs her way out of that boring task. She's been too busy doing things for P^3 to take care of herself, but she thinks the cough is probably nothing, which means it's definitely something really bad. Phoebe starts helping with the fruit cutting and she's as baffled as I am about what that thing is. Piper explains that it's a kiwano melon that she had smuggled in from space South America.
We start at someplace called Camp Skylark. Prue is staring at a lake and she broods all the way into a flashback of the day Mama Halliwell drowned. We watch her being zipped up into a body bag, while Baby!Prue yells for her mommy. A police officer scoops her up, but then just puts her down within dead-mommy-viewing distance. Thanks a lot, cop. In the present, Prue is still crying and staring at the lake.
Stephanie: I had no idea this was how Mama Halliwell died. Was I supposed to?
Stephanie: I had no idea this was how Mama Halliwell died. Was I supposed to?
First, there is a mini-episode that connects The Parting of the Ways with The Christmas Invasion, which you can watch here. Mostly it's Rose asking this new Doctor who he is. It's a single shot, tight scene that looks like it was filmed like this: Hey. No one move! Read this script real quick! We're gonna shoot it in five. And I mean that it in the nicest way possible, as I think this was aired to benefit charity... Point is that the acting is a bit off and it is a strange introduction to David Tennant's Doctor. I watched this and at the end yelled, "BRING BACK ECCLESTON."
Kirsti: Whereas, you know, I watched it after I'd already seen all of Ten and I squealed.
Kirsti: Whereas, you know, I watched it after I'd already seen all of Ten and I squealed.
We start in nature with two guys who clearly want to be bear-mauled. By that I mostly mean that they are in nature and seeking out a particular cave. Their faces are really dirty and I don't know why. I guess they rolled most of the way here? Hesitant Dirty Face thinks the cave looks small for a mine shaft, but Stupid Dirty Face is all, "s'whatever. Let's go in."
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
When I originally wrote my part of this recap, three months ago, this was a lot of squealing about finishing a 13-episode season. Well, that took us a bit longer than anticipated between holidays and relocations and naps and stuff, but still: HOORAY FINISHING EVEN SHORT THINGS! Now, episode:
The Daleks all scream at Rose to predict the Doctor's next move, since she knows and understands him. She doesn't tell them that knowing the Doctor means knowing he's a bit unpredictable. I mean, a wide tooth smile, waving around his sonic screwdriver, a convenient way out of trouble. That's all I got.
Kirsti: Honey badger don't need no stinking plan!
The Daleks all scream at Rose to predict the Doctor's next move, since she knows and understands him. She doesn't tell them that knowing the Doctor means knowing he's a bit unpredictable. I mean, a wide tooth smile, waving around his sonic screwdriver, a convenient way out of trouble. That's all I got.
Kirsti: Honey badger don't need no stinking plan!
We open with a very lame night at P^3. People are leaving because this show is so awful the club is dead.
Prue tells Phoebe that she thinks they are going to have to take up that offer. Phoebe responds, "please tell me about that offer even though we've presumably already talked about it off screen!" Apparently, some guy named Chris Barker has offered them a no-interest loan they can pay back anytime. Prue says they aren't going to tell Piper about it, though, because.
Stephanie: They're at The Bronze, where you have an 85% chance of dying, but it's still preferable to this.
Prue tells Phoebe that she thinks they are going to have to take up that offer. Phoebe responds, "please tell me about that offer even though we've presumably already talked about it off screen!" Apparently, some guy named Chris Barker has offered them a no-interest loan they can pay back anytime. Prue says they aren't going to tell Piper about it, though, because.
Stephanie: They're at The Bronze, where you have an 85% chance of dying, but it's still preferable to this.
Are we done with season 1 yet? Almost? Cool.
Somewhere in San Fran, a woman is clutching a paper bag and walking nervously to her car. Once she gets there, she drops the bag and cuts her hand on a broken bottle. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but she's relieved when she sees that it's Leo. I guess she didn't first hear his TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE Whitelighter sound effects. Leo tells Daisy to stay strong for a little longer, until she's safe. Daisy is worried about a certain "he" with lots of scary powers. Leo heals her hand and she's shocked by it. He tells her she's got a special future and he brought her to San Francisco because he's got powerful friends who can help her. Also, the Charmed Ones are here. (He probably meant them, but whatevs.)
Somewhere in San Fran, a woman is clutching a paper bag and walking nervously to her car. Once she gets there, she drops the bag and cuts her hand on a broken bottle. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but she's relieved when she sees that it's Leo. I guess she didn't first hear his TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE Whitelighter sound effects. Leo tells Daisy to stay strong for a little longer, until she's safe. Daisy is worried about a certain "he" with lots of scary powers. Leo heals her hand and she's shocked by it. He tells her she's got a special future and he brought her to San Francisco because he's got powerful friends who can help her. Also, the Charmed Ones are here. (He probably meant them, but whatevs.)
Mona is using a compact to both check her lipstick and spy on Hanna, Aria and Emily. She slams it shut and the music seems to think that's a BFD. We head over to the Liars who are freaking out because Spencer is a no-show for school, even after an SOS text from Emily. Hanna tries to calm everyone down. Emily says that if Spencer doesn't respond, they'll go to her house after school.
The bell rings and the girls take off. They are stopped by someone I'm guessing is the principal. (S: LOL, look at him, pretending to have any authority at this fake school.)
The bell rings and the girls take off. They are stopped by someone I'm guessing is the principal. (S: LOL, look at him, pretending to have any authority at this fake school.)
This episode begins by jumping back to just before Spike took that big old swig of flat Mountain Dew. He's telling Angel how fully not about him this is and then he drinks. As he does, Angel's face burns up and he screams. (K: Reminiscent of when he dreamt of marrying Buffy and then her burning up???) Then he wakes up sweating, sitting at his desk.
Meanwhile, Spike's hanging out at a strip club (K: Is this an I Know Who Killed Me crossover?) when Lindsey shows up, and Spike tells him to fuck off.
Meanwhile, Spike's hanging out at a strip club (K: Is this an I Know Who Killed Me crossover?) when Lindsey shows up, and Spike tells him to fuck off.
We slow motion zoom in on Angel, who looks like he's trying very hard to emote, which means you know shit is going down; this episode starts one second after Connor has reappeared. The camera pans to the right and Groo jumps into action, swinging his battle axe, also in slow-mo. We keep spinning and land back on Connor in the background, as in the foreground, Angel yells for everyone to wait.
Kirsti: I think the slow motion yelling was my favourite on account of how spectacularly awful it was.
Kirsti: I think the slow motion yelling was my favourite on account of how spectacularly awful it was.
The episode begins with Hanna still wet from her time in the lake, looking moodily into a fire. She has a blanket around her and Aria offers to make her soup. Emily says that while Hanna might not be able to talk, the police (LOL) are going to drag the lake. That's jumping to a pretty morbid conclusion, but I love when these girls support each other in times of trauma (which are always). Hanna's not buying the morbid conclusion because she can feel that he's out there.
Aria's stunned by the idea of Lucas helping A, because he doesn't seem that violent. This is when Hanna pipes up to out Lucas as destroyer of Ali's memorial.
Aria's stunned by the idea of Lucas helping A, because he doesn't seem that violent. This is when Hanna pipes up to out Lucas as destroyer of Ali's memorial.
I'm not entirely sure why this is a new chapter. I mean, we always complain about the insanely dumb ways ELJ breaks her writing up, but it usually revolves around some imagined cliffhanger or Ana falling asleep. This isn't even either one of those. We ended last chapter with Grey deciding he liked the nickname "Blip" for his demon spawn, followed by some kissing. We start this chapter STILL KISSING. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT CHAPTER BREAK?
Sweeney: This is even worse than her overused love of waking Ana up for chapter beginnings. (Sidebar: that's how I like to think of it. "Wake up, you miserable little puppet! We've got more stupid to get through!")
Sweeney: This is even worse than her overused love of waking Ana up for chapter beginnings. (Sidebar: that's how I like to think of it. "Wake up, you miserable little puppet! We've got more stupid to get through!")