Before we start, I should mention that this week's episode involves racism and general race-related ickiness. If that makes you uncomfortable and you want to bug out while you can, I totally understand and we'll see you back here for some irresponsible parenting and psychic weirdness next week. YAY?
Cape Girardeau, Missouri. (A place I know only because Emily used to live there) A middle aged black guy is driving down Route 6 when his radio starts to get all static-y and weird. He shuts it off as headlights flare out the back window. A big-ass truck accelerates towards him. He speeds up to get away from it, but the truck accelerates again and smashes into the back of his car. Suddenly, the radio switches back on and he notices that the truck has vanished.
We open with Groo walking into the Hyperion carrying a tray of glasses filled with...IDK, muddy water? He looks across the lobby to see Cordy standing in the office and I REALLY can't get over how ugly her hair is. He heads into the office, and Cordy's all "WTF is that drink?" He says that it's a soothing brew to help her chill out. She says that it looks like muddy water, and he's all "CORRECT!" Lor, does this make me a Snark Prophet?
Lorraine: Half of one, because I'm pretty sure you've seen this episode before. I love you.
K: I barely remembered the plot, let alone the tiny details!
Lorraine: Half of one, because I'm pretty sure you've seen this episode before. I love you.
K: I barely remembered the plot, let alone the tiny details!
Lorraine: Just when we seem to give up on the credits, it adds a shiny, new location to the map so we forgive it for being an occasional liar. I feel like this is an abusive relationship, Credits, but I don't know how to quit you. Today: King's Landing, Harrenhal, (new location) Riverrun, Winterfell on Fire, The Wall and Astapor.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.
Sweeney: Ana sits in front of Grey's fireplace emotionless and lost in internal monologue, even though there are at least a dozen people there with her, because Ana can't be bothered to interact with people who aren't Christian, and he has gone missing.
Lorraine: In an early reminder that Ana sucks, is not a real human being, and doesn't know how to interact with human beings, she tells us that she "blinks dispassionately" at Grace and Mia. DISPASSIONATELY. They've just lost a son/brother respectively, but this bitch who has known him for less than two months is so wrapped up in her own damn emotions describes herself as completely unaffected by their emotions.
What a stand-up character you've created, James. Truly.
Lorraine: In an early reminder that Ana sucks, is not a real human being, and doesn't know how to interact with human beings, she tells us that she "blinks dispassionately" at Grace and Mia. DISPASSIONATELY. They've just lost a son/brother respectively, but this bitch who has known him for less than two months is so wrapped up in her own damn emotions describes herself as completely unaffected by their emotions.
What a stand-up character you've created, James. Truly.
This post is part of our Very Snarky Holiday Special. Say hello to our good friend and wonderful blogger, Ginny of Ginny in Boston. — Holidays Ginny: If you grew...
Previously: Christian Grey upped his own stalker game by buying the company where Ana works. Ana briefly expressed valid, genuine concern, but then he smiled at her and she reverted...
Previously: When we last left Sweet Valley, Steven’s girlfriend had got the cancer. There was a lot of time spent in hospitals, thanks to the twins also conveniently volunteering as...
Previously: A super powerful witch uses her powers to go back to being a cheerleader in high school. Because that’s pretty much what we’d all use witch-y powers for, am...
As promised (or threatened):
Lily: We find ourselves with the Alden kids going on vacation yet again. Jessie told Henry that she believed their grandpa was up to something because he was extra happy,...
Lily: This is a story about a boy and his wolf. Lorraine: For a second there, I was going to be all, “JACOB?” but then I realized you said, “a...
Happy New Year Traumateers! We realize we were only off for a week, but we missed you guys anyways. We hope you are ready for another year of babies watching babies,...
Previously: Grandpa Moneybags shipped his grandkids off to an island for the summer and they ended up finding dead people bones and a long lost relative. They still really enjoyed...
Nugs: This book really pissed me off because the cover and the description on the back are NOTHING like what goes on in the actual plot. Nips, I know R.L....