We open in space. We zoom past the Moon to Earth. A narrator tells us that in the last days of planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. Except that everyone forgot because people are dumb. Well, one person remembered. We zoom in on Wilf(!!!!!!), watching happily as a Salvation Army band plays Christmas carols. He hears a maniacal laugh in his head, and shakes himself.
I could have done without the exploding head montage that begins this episode’s “previously on” song, but it was totally worth it to get to the fake prescription ad for Space Bugs. Funny how the possible side effects sound so similar to actual ads, other than the “Brain matter leakage is common but harmless” disclaimer.
Marines: The people running around in fields is fantastic. Also, on a related note, drug ads in the U.S. are RIDICULOUS.
Marines: The people running around in fields is fantastic. Also, on a related note, drug ads in the U.S. are RIDICULOUS.
The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor rushes out in a panic into suburban London, Donna behind him. He's surprised to see that everything's perfectly normal. Donna's too busy being all, "so that was Rose Tyler, huh?" (M: Kinda fair given all the Doctor's moping over her...) The Doctor says that if Rose is back, it means the walls between parallel universes are breaking down, and they'll take all the dimensions down with them. He rushes back into the TARDIS. Across the street from the TARDIS, a milk van starts to shake, and the tiles fall off a house roof. The milkman stares up at the sky in shock.
Future, at an unidentified Asian locale. (K: Hooray! Not!White places are always exciting to me.) Donna and the Doctor are walking through a market and generally being so damn happy and adorable that it hurts me. We know that the Doctor has all of these adventures with his companions and we, as the audience, seem to stop in on them when things go wrong. They reference, though, and there is this sense that there are other, generally "normal" adventures. I know everything is about to go to shit in one moment, but this brief moment of pure travel adventure gave me feelings.
We get another extensive previously section and it reminds us that Littlefinger exists. I think they are going to whip out one "remember them??" character per episode.
Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion.
Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn't know what anyone was doing.
The credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.
Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion.
Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn't know what anyone was doing.
The credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.
Our exposition-on-the-fly this episode is really Kara reading a letter from Cat to her estranged son, basically being like, "sorry I wasn't a parent." While that voice over plays, Supergirl saves a family stuck in a camper from a forest fire. Because FAMILY.
Catherine: At first I actually thought her 'sorry I neglected you' letter was about the earth. Like, 'sorry I wasn't saving you quicker' and I was like, huh, this is cool. But no. And now I'm not sure why I went there.
Mari: They should hire you.
Catherine: At first I actually thought her 'sorry I neglected you' letter was about the earth. Like, 'sorry I wasn't saving you quicker' and I was like, huh, this is cool. But no. And now I'm not sure why I went there.
Mari: They should hire you.
We start the episode right where the last one left off with Viserys Targaryen giving John Smith the ultimatum to either save Martha or Joan. John Smith is clearly at a loss, but in the background Latimer (baby Jojen Reed...) pulls out the Doctor's pocket watch. He opens it and we see some of that magic Timelord ejaculation float up from it and a voice whispers, "Time Lord." The aliens all freak out, giving Martha an opportunity to break out of alien!Jenny's grasp and grab the gun, like a total badass.
Annalise is in a hotel room somewhere, crying in bed. She gets up to grab some alcohol from the mini-bar, then we cut to her eating some delicious pasta, ignoring a call from Nate and hopping back into bed. We see this happen again and again- eat, drink, sleep drink- as title cards let us know that this is all taking place from Christmas to New Years. Plus, the show plays to its strengths and we get a few quality shots of Viola Davis's Tears.
Democracy Diva: First of all, there are worse ways to spend a holiday season. Second, I would wear the shit out of a perfume called Viola Davis's Tears.
Democracy Diva: First of all, there are worse ways to spend a holiday season. Second, I would wear the shit out of a perfume called Viola Davis's Tears.
We're treated to another round of Carry On Wayward Son because obviously, then we see Sam's dead body lying on a bed, Dean standing over him. Let's just go ahead and do this, shall we?
Bobby walks in with a bucket of chicken, and tells Dean he has to eat something. Dean disagrees and swigs from a flask. Bobby suggests burying Sam, but Dean won't have a bar of it. Bobby begs for Dean's help dealing with the whole world ending thing, but Dean yells "Well, then let it end!". He's sacrificed enough and he's done. He tells Bobby to leave. Bobby sighs and heads out, telling Dean he knows where to find him. Dean looks back at Sam's corpse, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Bobby walks in with a bucket of chicken, and tells Dean he has to eat something. Dean disagrees and swigs from a flask. Bobby suggests burying Sam, but Dean won't have a bar of it. Bobby begs for Dean's help dealing with the whole world ending thing, but Dean yells "Well, then let it end!". He's sacrificed enough and he's done. He tells Bobby to leave. Bobby sighs and heads out, telling Dean he knows where to find him. Dean looks back at Sam's corpse, a tear rolling down his cheek.
This episode doesn't begin with the improbable bonfire which by itself bums me out for the loss of the familiar. Even worse, it starts with people poking at Lila's mottled corpse. So. Cool. We jump back 6 months earlier to June 2014 when Lila was still alive. She's hanging out with Rebecca and speculating about whether her vagina's going to be all, "Nope, access denied!" because she waited too long to have sex. It's kind of adorable because while that's total bullshit, this conversation is also so completely plausible. Rebecca wonders if the sex talk means that Griffin's given up on that virginity pact and Lila confesses that she met someone whose identity she can't reveal because, "He has a wife." It pleases me to no end when the stars are earned by the people the episode is truly about.
In the previouslies, we're treated to a bunch of clips of Mary and Jessica to let us know that this episode is going to be suuuuuuper fun. When we're done with previouslies, Dean's in the Bromobile, which now has new plates. Because that TOTALLY makes it less obvious. Sam phones to say that there's a cop car outside their motel. He heaves a sigh of relief when it leaves. Sam asks if Dean's got anything, but LOL NOPE because Sam's got him searching a massive area. Sam - books and Filofax of Shadows open to relevant entries - reveals that they're hunting a djinn. Dean gushes about how hot Barbara Eden was, and Sam eyerolls before saying that djinns like to hole up in ruins.
Paul is in his apartment without a shirt. (M: Very important detail. I like the way you recap.) Someone knocks at the door and it’s Echo in a very boobalicious black dress. She ditched an engagement to deliver a message. That message is that she has something Paul needs - her mouth on his mouth. Paul’s all pissy because he's not a client, but they move to the couch and make out a ton anyway. Mellie appears from the shadows to be jealous. Paul insists that he has something Echo needs (dem abs, dat back) so they keep with the kissing. Mellie interrupts again, saying Echo doesn’t need anything because she’s dead. Paul pulls away from Echo, who’s now pale and corpsified.
Ew.
Ew.
Shrine O'Spielberg. The whole gang is there, hanging out together, and it makes me really happy. Until Dawson says the same thing, and then I get upset that me and Dawson had a mind-meld. (K: Legit.) Anyway, Pacey calls them a clique and they're all, DUDE, NO. Jen helpfully informs the audience that she's now living at the Leerys' house, since Grams kicked her out. Pacey insists that they're one step away from the Peach Pit. Then everyone attacks Pacey with pillows until SO MANY FEATHERS start flying all over the room.
Like, that is way too many feathers for any of these pillows to still appear intact, which they do. My headcanon says the ghost of Abby Morgan is hiding in the ceiling, dumping feathers on all these idiots.
Like, that is way too many feathers for any of these pillows to still appear intact, which they do. My headcanon says the ghost of Abby Morgan is hiding in the ceiling, dumping feathers on all these idiots.
Outside Leery Manor, Joey and Dawson - still in their catering outfits - make out. There's some brief discussion that's clearly of the "we should go upstairs and boink" variety before they climb up the ladder. IS THE DOOR BROKEN?!?!?! I hate these people. (D: Cosign.) Anyway, they reach the Shrine o' Spielberg and start kissing again, but Joey stops in surprise when she sees Jen sitting on the bed, weeping. They ask her what's wrong, and she tearfully explains that Abby's dead. Joey hugs her and Jen starts to sob.
Democracy Diva: A round of applause to Michelle Williams, who was a really fucking good actress SO LONG AGO.
Democracy Diva: A round of applause to Michelle Williams, who was a really fucking good actress SO LONG AGO.
Shrine o' Spielberg. Pacey's watching Jerry Maguire as Dawson walks in carrying homework. It seems that Pacey's been hanging out at Leery Manor every day so that his douchey father doesn't know he got suspended. Um. Do they not inform your parents of suspensions in America, or is this a TV Land thing??
Democracy Diva: Oh, I thought he was just avoiding his douchey father's rage, but that Douchey Father did know about the suspension. If not, then yeah, that's definitely just a TV Land thing.
K: CONFUSION.
Democracy Diva: Oh, I thought he was just avoiding his douchey father's rage, but that Douchey Father did know about the suspension. If not, then yeah, that's definitely just a TV Land thing.
K: CONFUSION.