Shrine o' Spielberg. Jen's reading Dawson's movie script while he freaks out in the background. When she finishes, he asks what she thinks, and she says "The truth truth or the what-Dawson-wants-to-hear truth?", which is totally legit. He assumes this means she hates it. She assures him that she doesn't hate it, but that it's fluff. I laugh hysterically because let's be perfectly honest here - Dawson is writing real person fan fic about him and Joey, and it is 10,000% fluff. Dawson gets offended, which only gets worse when Jen says that the script felt naive.
He rambles about "the age of innocence," and this officially sounds like the worst fan fic on the face of the earth, except maybe ones that are written in the second person.
Democracy Diva: And, you know, Fifty Shades of Grey.
Wallace heads inside, not too long after Stalker Cop approached him with the whole, "I am your father," deal. Wallace is clearly distraught. Alicia is happily serving dinner and her first clue that something is wrong is that Wallace says he isn't hungry. He just met a man in the driveway. A man from Chicago. He angrily asks who they buried in Cleveland and who he cried over for so many days. Alicia says that was his father but Wallace doesn't get how having two fathers works out. Wallace storms away but Alicia follows.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.
We begin with a Veronica Voice-Over about the magic of senior year. Tis the season of college applications, so Veronica needs to pad her resume with a non-crime-solving-related activity. I'm not sure why - the crime-solving thing would probably look way more attractive to an admissions officer than the stupid FBLA. But that doesn't get us anywhere, plot-wise, so welcome to the Future Business Leaders of America, Veronica Mars!
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
We watch as an ambulance carries a broken Kira to the hospital, and then as paramedics rush her into an operating room. Kira and Siobhan follow behind them closely, crying and distraught, until they are told they can go no further. Sarah's outcry makes me... have hay fever. It's the weirdest thing.
Sweeney: IT'S THE WORST. I was already pretty devastated over the wounded child but mother-losing-her-shit is a kind of heartsick that is fully contagious.
Sweeney: IT'S THE WORST. I was already pretty devastated over the wounded child but mother-losing-her-shit is a kind of heartsick that is fully contagious.
We open in Sunnydale's main street. It's busier than we've ever seen it, bumper to bumper traffic as people flee the Hellmouth-y vibes.
Lorraine: Only seven season later. Better late than never, population of Sunnydale!
Sweeney: "See, even the population of Sunnydale is peacing out! We promise we're a couple episodes away from a real mega apocalypse!"
K: A+.
Lorraine: Only seven season later. Better late than never, population of Sunnydale!
Sweeney: "See, even the population of Sunnydale is peacing out! We promise we're a couple episodes away from a real mega apocalypse!"
K: A+.
After approximately a million years worth of previouslies, we're in the cemetery at night. Rona and Vi wander around looking nervous, stakes in hand. They hear a rustling noise behind them and are jumped by Spike. He goes to bite Vi, then stops as the camera pulls back to reveal Buffy and the other Potentials conducting a training exercise. Rona complains that it's never going to be a fair fight, because she doesn't have Slayer strength, and Buffy informs them that while they may not have that, they're still strong. It would be a nice "YAY GIRL POWER!" speech if it didn't continue with her saying that they're strong because they have abilities that other, non-potential-slayer girls don't have. Sigh. On the plus side, she tells them that they have the potential, thereby earning herself a gold star. It's been aaaaaaaaaaaaages since Buffy had one, so wheeeeee:
It's been a while, so I'm not pleased with the very somber introduction to this episode, my return to the show. Funereal music plays as we see a bunch of shots of the empty ship. The sequence ends with a shot of Mal collapsing.
He has a flashback. I think Whedon took a cue from Rosewood because this flashback is clearly brought to us by a particularly strong Instagram filter. I'm thinking Toaster? Anyway, this flashback is of the day he showed Zoe the brand new ship he bought. She is all sorts of unimpressed by Serenity - thinks it's a bit of a dump. Future!Kaylee is off somewhere, taking offense, I'm sure.
He has a flashback. I think Whedon took a cue from Rosewood because this flashback is clearly brought to us by a particularly strong Instagram filter. I'm thinking Toaster? Anyway, this flashback is of the day he showed Zoe the brand new ship he bought. She is all sorts of unimpressed by Serenity - thinks it's a bit of a dump. Future!Kaylee is off somewhere, taking offense, I'm sure.
Today's fun time in Sunnydale begins in a funeral home where two guys are closing up, after preparing an older woman for her service the next day.
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it:
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it: