Thanks for your patience, Snark Nation! Mari is traveling around the world, recruiting soldiers for the Great War to come, so Catherine and I are going to finish this season up on our own and probably hold each other while we sob. Right? Right.
Catherine: It's so likely that I'm upgrading it from a probably to a definitely. Get ready to emotionally suffer!
We recap part one in the previouslies and then head straight to DOO WEE OOH.
After the opening credits, we pick up right where we left off, with Swarm in a Suit chasing our gang, cornering them in a dark hallway. River stands back and blasts a way out for them.
Little Girl is sitting on her couch and the chase sequence is playing out on her TV. She tells her father that the library is on TV, and he reminds her that the library is all in her imagination.
After the opening credits, we pick up right where we left off, with Swarm in a Suit chasing our gang, cornering them in a dark hallway. River stands back and blasts a way out for them.
Little Girl is sitting on her couch and the chase sequence is playing out on her TV. She tells her father that the library is on TV, and he reminds her that the library is all in her imagination.
Orange County is pretty! That's how we open before settling in on the Cohen home, where Kirsten exposits that Ryan hasn’t spoken to them in days. Sandy says he’s not worried about Ryan not talking to the two of them, but he is concerned that Ryan’s still ignoring Seth.
Meanwhile, Ryan’s on the phone with Julie, who’s pouting about Sandy and Kirsten uninviting her from Thanksgiving. Kirsten and Sandy are discussing this as well, and Sandy says sending their kids on a murder mission knocks you off the guest list.
Meanwhile, Ryan’s on the phone with Julie, who’s pouting about Sandy and Kirsten uninviting her from Thanksgiving. Kirsten and Sandy are discussing this as well, and Sandy says sending their kids on a murder mission knocks you off the guest list.
This episode, a random favorite of mine, opens at a run down vacant motel in Indiana. A sheriff looking fella walks inside and starts looking around. We see that the name of the hotel is the Elysium Fields and the Greek Mythology nerd inside of me has a field (har har) day. We also see a flower pot bloom into life. The flowers look vaguely lotus-y if you put your imagination to it. There's lots of noises and camera angles to indicate that this motel is not quite as abandoned as it appears. Sure enough, the sheriff guy turns around to find an immaculate looking bellhop standing there. He tries to tell the bellhop that he isn't allowed to be here, but Bellhop just rambles about how he has to get everything ready because they are all coming. He then tells the sherif cop guy that he's dinner and murders the fuck out of him.
Okay so the episode starts with Kara flying over the city. Alex beeps in to ask if everything is okay since usually flying = cheesy battles. But no, this time Kara is just flying to clear her head. But, of course, duty calls and Kara hears some trouble a brewing.
Marines: I don't want to start every episode with Supergirl flying and making some statement that then gets immediately negated. I DON'T WANNA.
Samantha: We cut to the spin off Fast and Furious show that Vin Diesel has been talking about and I get excited! Two guys are yelling at each other and banging their cars together. It's Fast and Furious: Road Rage, y'all. Of course they're doing this in a school zone and almost super murder a bunch of little kids crossing the street.
Marines: I don't want to start every episode with Supergirl flying and making some statement that then gets immediately negated. I DON'T WANNA.
Samantha: We cut to the spin off Fast and Furious show that Vin Diesel has been talking about and I get excited! Two guys are yelling at each other and banging their cars together. It's Fast and Furious: Road Rage, y'all. Of course they're doing this in a school zone and almost super murder a bunch of little kids crossing the street.
Martha and the Doctor burst into the TARDIS, explosions following them. The Doctor asks frantically if "they" saw Martha's face. She insists that they couldn't have. They set off through time and space, but the unnamed "they" follows, thanks to some stolen technology. The Doctor looks panicky as he realises "they" can follow him anywhere. "I'll have to do it," he says. He grabs a pocket watch and waves it at Martha, saying that his life depends on it. He talks directly into the camera as he starts to say more about the watch.
We open with a preppy blonde cheerleader uttering the words "She's such a slut," so that we can get our misogyny shots out of the way early. The jock next to her at the lunch table says he's "pro-slut" (SHOTS!) and asks for further details. She provides them, then stops as the girl in question approaches the table and goes to sit in her usual spot. But LOL NOPE, society is the worst and all her friends fake-cough "SLUT!" at her until she storms off to sit at another table.
Marines: She can't see it now, but it's a better table, far from slut-shamers and almost equally as bad, people who would ever fake cough a word.
Marines: She can't see it now, but it's a better table, far from slut-shamers and almost equally as bad, people who would ever fake cough a word.
>We start right back where we ended at the Finch Farm, with Mark facing off against Gracie's mom. At the end of last episode, she had him cornered in the cornfield and we heard a shot go off.
Closeup on creepy corn. Sigh, it's ALWAYS creepy corn.
Marines: If I ever have to run into creepy corn, I'm basically doing this:
Closeup on creepy corn. Sigh, it's ALWAYS creepy corn.
Marines: If I ever have to run into creepy corn, I'm basically doing this:
So this is the 100th episode of this show. Let's do a quick round-up of what we know after approximately a century's worth of episodes.
Question 1: Is Alison alive?
Answer: Yes!
Question 2: Who is A?
Answer: No freaking clue.
Ok good, you're all caught up. On to the episode! (M: This is my favorite thing that's ever happened.)
Question 1: Is Alison alive?
Answer: Yes!
Question 2: Who is A?
Answer: No freaking clue.
Ok good, you're all caught up. On to the episode! (M: This is my favorite thing that's ever happened.)
We open with a close up of an iron pentagram, then pan down to see that Sam and Ruby 2.0 have a demon tied up underneath it. Sam asks where Lilith is, and the demon sasses at him. We then get in a double dose of misogyny shots when the demon says that Sam's "slutting around" with Ruby and then calls her a bitch. Not even 30 seconds in and we're two shots down. It's going to be a long road, friends...
Marines: At this rate, though, we won't even feel it.
K: Thank Heaven for small mercies.
Sam does his angry nostril twitch and holds his hand out. The demon pukes up black smoke, which burns away into the floor.
Marines: At this rate, though, we won't even feel it.
K: Thank Heaven for small mercies.
Sam does his angry nostril twitch and holds his hand out. The demon pukes up black smoke, which burns away into the floor.
WE MADE IT. Dear God we made it.
More feelings soon, recap first: we start with Selina actually outside, without a home, probably because it will be plot convenient shortly. She's warming her hands by a trash can fire when she spots across the Gotham river (sea? lake? IDK.) Fish standing at the front of a boat. IDK how the boat got involved after the helicopter, but OKAY. She looks like the Reaper because she's coming to bring death! But no worries for us because it's probably only to her one season long contract. #nonspoileryspoilers
More feelings soon, recap first: we start with Selina actually outside, without a home, probably because it will be plot convenient shortly. She's warming her hands by a trash can fire when she spots across the Gotham river (sea? lake? IDK.) Fish standing at the front of a boat. IDK how the boat got involved after the helicopter, but OKAY. She looks like the Reaper because she's coming to bring death! But no worries for us because it's probably only to her one season long contract. #nonspoileryspoilers
Last time I watched The OC, the gang was celebrating Chrismukkah and I revealed my snow elitism roots. (M: Good times.) I haven’t seen any of season three, so this should be interesting…
The episode begins with the foursome eating at a diner. The boys decide that the girls should pick the movie (could I love these boys anymore??), which leads to Summer and Marissa riffing “Bring It On.”
The episode begins with the foursome eating at a diner. The boys decide that the girls should pick the movie (could I love these boys anymore??), which leads to Summer and Marissa riffing “Bring It On.”
The Core Four are sitting in the diner, with Summer lamenting Ryan and Marissa’s expulsions from Harbor. Ryan and Marissa try to tell her it won’t be that bad, but Summer says it will be for Seth, seeing how before Ryan, he was bullied by people who called him “Death Breath Seth,” and Marissa’s like, uh, YOU called him that. Summer ignores that and says this was supposed to be the best year ever. All Ryan and Marissa want is to go back to school, but Summer tells them it’ll be okay as long as they stick together.
Rain, thunder, lightening. Somewhere, a guy sits inside a shop, pouring over a book. A TV program is playing in the background. The announcer signs off just as the guy realizes he's overdrawn and needs a money miracle. Watching TV while also maybe thinking about needing money miracles? MY LIFE. But with less "God Save the Queen" playing in the background.
Kirsti: I had a total "IT'S THAT GUY FROM THAT THING!!" moment when he came on screen, but wasn't sure what that thing was. According to IMDB, it's our old friend Britain Only Has Ten Actors, because he's been in Hot Fuzz, Little Dorrit, and Chocolat.
Kirsti: I had a total "IT'S THAT GUY FROM THAT THING!!" moment when he came on screen, but wasn't sure what that thing was. According to IMDB, it's our old friend Britain Only Has Ten Actors, because he's been in Hot Fuzz, Little Dorrit, and Chocolat.
Apartment somewhere. The Liars are impatiently waiting on something. Behind them, Noel Kahn says he'll be right back. Apparently, he's the "what are you doing here? DRAMATIC CUT TO BLACK" from last episode. (J: terrible pay off.) When he leaves, the Liars wonder at the smartness of following Noel Kahn and further wonder why Alison would trust him. They don't hear the Foley guys given them an extra loud door opening sound, so they all jump up when Alison answers, "because he has secrets too."