Shrine O'Spielberg. Jack has made a perfect scaled exact replica of Capeside for Dawson to use in his movie. It looks like something that would take months to do, but sure, let's pretend he just did this over the weekend!
Kirsti: Come on, Diva. We've already established that time moves differently in Capeside. Given that Dawson and Joey's first kiss seemed to last for like six months when the seasons are taken into consideration, Jack's probably had tons of time!
Necessary disclaimer: we know nothing about Batman. I've maybe seen all of the Batman movies made in my lifetime, occasionally watched the 90's cartoon as a kid, and love Batman The Ride. I also just remembered that I suppressed memories of thinking Chris O'Donnell was dreamy when I was in the 4th grade, thanks entirely to Batman Forever. That is my entire Batman CV. My comic book IQ is pretty low, in general, and Batman is definitely not on the list of superheroes whose stories I could feign competency in. To the best of my knowledge, this is also true of Lorraine (L: Yep.) and Alex, who agreed to join us for her first series recapping gig with the internet equivalent of a shrug and nervous laughter (A: Thanks again for the invite! And I think I've only seen two Batman movies ever).
We begin with Health Teacher Ms. Hauser introducing Phase 2 of Neptune High Sex Ed: Fancy fake babies that know when you're being a negligent parent! They must just cry nonstop in Traumaland.
Also, in my high school, we just had eggs, not babies with memory chips. We named ours Mr. Feeny, and I dropped him on the floor when I got jostled in our stupid over-crowded hallways. Anyway, before Veronica and Duncan can get their fake baby on, she gets called down to the vice principal's office.
Lorraine: We got eggs except for like four babies which two random couples would be stuck with. I left my egg baby in a classroom the opening weekend of our performing arts group's show and when I came back on Monday, someone had cracked it and stolen the Beenie Baby from it's basket. I was most upset about the Beenie Baby.
Also, in my high school, we just had eggs, not babies with memory chips. We named ours Mr. Feeny, and I dropped him on the floor when I got jostled in our stupid over-crowded hallways. Anyway, before Veronica and Duncan can get their fake baby on, she gets called down to the vice principal's office.
Lorraine: We got eggs except for like four babies which two random couples would be stuck with. I left my egg baby in a classroom the opening weekend of our performing arts group's show and when I came back on Monday, someone had cracked it and stolen the Beenie Baby from it's basket. I was most upset about the Beenie Baby.
The clock strikes 12.20pm (really?? It STRIKES at 12.20??). A guy answers his phone. We see hazy flashes of him picking up a shotgun and killing people, then back in reality, he says "Alright," and hangs up the phone as a bus drives past. He heads into a store and asks to look at a gun. The shopkeeper is startled because Doc's not the gun-toting type, but shows him a shotgun. Doc asks what kind of shells it uses, and the shopkeeper pulls out a box to show him. Doc loads the shotgun he's holding. The shopkeeper gets shouty. "It's all going to be okay..." Doc says before shooting the shopkeeper. Customers scream, but Doc repeats his previous statement before shooting himself.
We begin with Andie performing a flawless rendition of the Footloose dance for Joey, Dawson, and Pacey. It's the greatest thing to happen on this show since Pacey's Braveheart speech. I will take a moment to repeat what I say in every single episode, which is WHY ARE THERE EVEN OTHER CHARACTERS ON THIS SHOW BESIDES ANDIE AND PACEY. Oh, and Jack
Kirsti: Truth. At least at this point of the show. Some of the other characters would be permitted to return at certain points, but Dawson would be gone forever if I were running this show.
Diva: Any-tangent, Andie is trying to convince the three least school-spirited kids on earth to go to the homecoming dance.
Kirsti: Truth. At least at this point of the show. Some of the other characters would be permitted to return at certain points, but Dawson would be gone forever if I were running this show.
Diva: Any-tangent, Andie is trying to convince the three least school-spirited kids on earth to go to the homecoming dance.
Hello! I’m Tom, your resident Canadian (one of anyway) and I will be recapping the OC for you! I was so honoured to be asked, and so excited to be a part of this. I started watching the OC in university, with my roommates. We all kind of laughed at it, thinking it was a silly show, and slowly it ended up being a nice bonding moment and appointment viewing for a couple years. That and reruns of Sex and the City. I MEAN MONSTER TRUCK RALLIES AND SPORTS NOT SEX AND THE CITY. Whatevs, men can watch Sex and the City. Deal with it, Society.
After lots of previously ons, we open on the Cohen kitchen, when it’s breakfast. I’ve never understood these people that seem to get all this done in the morning.
After lots of previously ons, we open on the Cohen kitchen, when it’s breakfast. I’ve never understood these people that seem to get all this done in the morning.
Red Lodge, Montana. A terrified girl runs through the woods at night, a man chasing her. She hides behind a tree, and the man runs past her. Or so she thinks. She peeks out from behind the tree, and he chops off her head.
FLAME ON!
After the Not!Credits, we're treated to the delightful strains of AC/DC's Back In Black as the newly remodelled Bromobile rolls down the road. There's like 30 seconds straight of car close-ups just so we can marvel at how shiny it is.
FLAME ON!
After the Not!Credits, we're treated to the delightful strains of AC/DC's Back In Black as the newly remodelled Bromobile rolls down the road. There's like 30 seconds straight of car close-ups just so we can marvel at how shiny it is.
Shrine o' Spielberg. A werewolf movie plays on Dawson's TV as he talks about how romantic the full moon is. The camera pans up to show us that Dawson and Joey aren't on the bed, they're outside on the roof staring at the moon. Dawson wibbles some more about how romantic and peaceful it is, while Joey makes WTF faces and says that it's just "a natural satellite". Way to be a buzzkill, Potter. She starts talking about the full moon making people crazy and how she thinks it's because we're 70% water and the moon effects us as well as the tides. Dawson, meanwhile, is trying to swallow her head.
Open to Seth and Ryan walking across campus. Ryan is going on about his mistrust of Oliver. This is totally valid because with my limited knowledge it seems to me that Oliver is bat-shit crazy. (I should probably mention that I missed this show entirely so I'm almost completely a Snow). Seth is trying to be comforting but is also being Seth, whose fall back position is sarcastic and nerdy. I have to say so far my favorite thing about this show is the relationship between Ryan and Seth. They offset each other well and it does my heart good to see them fall into this friendship.
So Ryan is still going on about Oliver and says he and Marissa are fighting a lot about him. Seth states Ryan is jealous because Oliver is a rich kid with many exotic locations to whisk women off to. He also uses the phrase "Dapper Don" (really, Seth?) and all I can think of is this even though I have never watched Mad Men:
Lorraine: Veronica is looking very intensely at a display of dessert. Veronica Voice Over asks us, "if a school bus traveling 40 miles per hour drives off a cliff and plunges 90 feet into the jagged coastline, how many seconds do the six high-school students, their teacher and bus driver have to contemplate the fact that they're about to die?" No wonder V's serving some pie and she can't even look happy about pie. Those are some morbid thoughts.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we're talking about here.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we're talking about here.
I preface this with this bit of knowledge: I have never watched the OC. All I know about it is that they are in the “OC” which I think is in California somewhere, I want to say Orange County? Which I think is Los Angeles...ish? Look at me figuring things out all by myself! I’m sure I can figure out this teen-angst-plot-drama-rama with just one episode!
This episode is called “The Secret.” Unless the secret is that someone is Batman, I am not interested. However, I promised and while this isn't a show I would watch on my own, it certainly has to have some loltastic moments in it. Any show, no matter how straight and serious, has loltastic moments.
Further up and further in! After the previouslies, we start off with an establishing shot of California with some peppy music. (L: "A long time ago, we used to be friends...")
This episode is called “The Secret.” Unless the secret is that someone is Batman, I am not interested. However, I promised and while this isn't a show I would watch on my own, it certainly has to have some loltastic moments in it. Any show, no matter how straight and serious, has loltastic moments.
Further up and further in! After the previouslies, we start off with an establishing shot of California with some peppy music. (L: "A long time ago, we used to be friends...")
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson talks to himself as he flips through the TV stations. He pauses briefly on scrambled porn before settling on classic movies. Convenient, really, because it means that when Joey climbs in the window a second later, she doesn't find him bonding with Little Dawson. (D: Except Joey would call it "walking his dog," because she's the worst.) (K: TRUE.) Joey, who's borrowed Faith's coma make up complains about sleep deprivation courtesy of her shiny new nephew and says her GPA is dropping as a result.
Dawson tells her to just stay over, which she rapidly agrees to. She judges him for his choice of movies and he starts to defend Gary Cooper, pining for the days when the nerd could easily get the girl.
Dawson tells her to just stay over, which she rapidly agrees to. She judges him for his choice of movies and he starts to defend Gary Cooper, pining for the days when the nerd could easily get the girl.
Shrine O'Spielberg. Dawson and Joey are watching yet another movie together, but he gets frustrated with it and shuts it off just before the end. He finds it unbelievable that a girl would decide which guy she wants to be with based on a drag race. Joey wisely points out that someone whose favorite movie is E.T. should not have such a problem with unrealistic films, but like everything else on this show, this is really about SEX.
Kirsti: Also, whose favourite movie is E.T.?! I was terrified of it when I was six, and I'm still terrified of it. Don't let that thing in your house, Elliott.
Kirsti: Also, whose favourite movie is E.T.?! I was terrified of it when I was six, and I'm still terrified of it. Don't let that thing in your house, Elliott.
After a lot of previouslies we open with Seth and Ryan playing video games. Ryan has mastered the art and is beating Seth. The student has become the master so to say. Just then, the Cohen parents walk in, wanting to talk to Ryan. The suspense is killing all of us, I know, right?! Like, what could this possibly be about? Seth is being his weird self, mentioning something about the rug which I have no idea whether it will be necessary information or is just a stupid throwaway comment. Moving on.
The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen's only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan's legal rights.
The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen's only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan's legal rights.
We begin with Deputy Mumbler's tongue in Veronica's mouth. He basically asks if he can come inside the Mars apartment and have sexytimes with her, but she's like, nuh-uh. She also mentions that their age difference is 29 months, which is a few years less than I had been estimating. Are there really nineteen-year-old cops? I mean, I guess if you can be a soldier at 18, you can be a cop at 19, but I can't pretend I'm comfortable with the idea of teens in the police force.
Lorraine: Girl, sometimes I see teens serving me fries at McDonalds and I hit them with a, "are you qualified for this?" eyebrow. It's part of being an adult, right?
Lorraine: Girl, sometimes I see teens serving me fries at McDonalds and I hit them with a, "are you qualified for this?" eyebrow. It's part of being an adult, right?