Previously: We found the real worst school for magic. Content warnings: Violence, nudity, gore, ableism, incest, infertility, and a hysterectomy. — Betrayer Moon Marines: A very dirty boy is on a bed....
Previously: Edward runs away and then runs back to sniff Bella and wonder why she’s so spicy. — Catherine: One of our lovely commenters reminded me on the first recap of this...
Previously: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ — Marines: Aro calls over his bros so they can chat. Edward, Bella, Jacob and Emmett back up to join the rest of their side. Renesmee is grabbing Jacob’s tail...
I love this shooooooooooow. Okay. We open with the Marvel logo and the pretty and disarming credits. I love how the music starts kind of low key and quaint and then builds into this more rock thing.
Credits over, Jessica Jones is sitting in a police interrogation room. A detective comes in and she tells him that she's not sure how much more she can tell him. He comments on her tension and she's basically like "Yeah. I watched people get murdered by an abused and controlled girl at the end of last episode. Of course I am." He asks how she got in touch with the Shlottman's and how she found Hope.
Credits over, Jessica Jones is sitting in a police interrogation room. A detective comes in and she tells him that she's not sure how much more she can tell him. He comments on her tension and she's basically like "Yeah. I watched people get murdered by an abused and controlled girl at the end of last episode. Of course I am." He asks how she got in touch with the Shlottman's and how she found Hope.
So after Bella was handed off for partial custody from vampire to werewolf last chapter, she starts this chapter at a bonfire with all of the werewolves.
They're eating hotdogs and talking.
Kirsti: More accurately, they're eating hot dogs that were cooked on wire hangers. I'm still not sure why that level of detail was necessary.
They're eating hotdogs and talking.
Kirsti: More accurately, they're eating hot dogs that were cooked on wire hangers. I'm still not sure why that level of detail was necessary.
Previouslies: we're reminded that Dany walked through fire to impress the Dothraki, Sam and Gilly are on their way to Hornhill and we're also shown a shot of Rob and Cat standing together. In case you have any feels left after last week that still needed destroying. Lastly we're shown Hodor sacrificing himself. Again. THANKS SHOW.
Credits take us through Kings landing, Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Vaes Dothrak and Meereen. So basically everywhere ever.
Credits take us through Kings landing, Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Vaes Dothrak and Meereen. So basically everywhere ever.
We open in a messy house, with a scruffy looking guy asleep in his underwear on the sofa. The shot flickers and he twitches in his sleep, then we're thrown into a montage of shots of various things, including Sam and the Bromobile in a weird grey-scale. Then we get a close up of a guy reaching for a comic book and the colour resolves. The boys walk in and introduce themselves as Agents DeYoung and Shaw, both of whom are in Styx. WOO, FAKE NAMES.
In a creepy old house in the middle of nowhere, an older guy is watching TV when the lights suddenly go out. He eyerolls a little and heads over the door, but it's locked. He's confused, and turns to see a ghostly girl appear out of the closet. "Y-you? It's impossible!" he says before yelling at her to stay away from him. She smiles creepily and we see blood splatter all over the walls as the guy screams.
CREEPY BIRDS!
After the Not Credits, Sam wakes up in the backseat of the Bromobile.
CREEPY BIRDS!
After the Not Credits, Sam wakes up in the backseat of the Bromobile.
We start right about where we left off last time. Dyad's Dr. Nealon comes down to the cell where the Mustache Castor Clone freed the Scarface Castor Clone in the previous episode. His face doesn't really register the “oh shit!” reaction this scene requires as he makes a phone call to report the escape.
Hotel room somewhere. Scarface Castor Clone (ok he's sticking around for now so I'll use his real name– Rudy) (M: Really? Huh.) enters the room with a stumbling, giggling girl. Ominous music sneaks in the background as they move toward sexytimes. She turns away for him to take off her coat, and we get a blurry image of Mustache Castor Clone (Seth) in the background taking the coat and answering her question and it's super creepy. But
Hotel room somewhere. Scarface Castor Clone (ok he's sticking around for now so I'll use his real name– Rudy) (M: Really? Huh.) enters the room with a stumbling, giggling girl. Ominous music sneaks in the background as they move toward sexytimes. She turns away for him to take off her coat, and we get a blurry image of Mustache Castor Clone (Seth) in the background taking the coat and answering her question and it's super creepy. But
The previouslies take us all the way back to Season 1, with King Robert asking Ned why he had to bury his sister/Robert's betrothed Lyanna in Winterfell and placing a feather in Lyanna's statue's hands. We see Littlefinger telling Sansa about her worst marriage prospect yet (M: We remember this part, show.) (S: But would it really be Game of Thrones without a little twisting of the knife?), the Margaery vs. Cersei battle for Tommen's affections, Loras being gay and beautiful (M: We remember this part for sure.), Cersei teaming up with the High Sparrow, Ellaria Sand trying to convince the Dornish Prince Doran to avenge his brother Oberyn, the Sons of the Harpy murdering everyone in Meereen, and oh yeah, Ser Jorah kidnapped Tyrion and is taking him to "the queen." Ah, but which queen?
Sam watches his brother sleep in the Motel of the Week, then sneaks out the door. Outside, Ruby 2.0 picks him up and they speed off into the night. Back in the motel room, Dean has nightmares about being in Hell, and wakes to find Castiel sitting on the bed.
Marines: Castiel, friend. We're not fond of characters who watch people sleep around here. Just FYI.
K: Truth.
Dean jumps, and asks what Castiel wants. "You have to stop him," Castiel says. He presses two fingers to Dean's forehead, and Dean wakes up on a bench.
Marines: Castiel, friend. We're not fond of characters who watch people sleep around here. Just FYI.
K: Truth.
Dean jumps, and asks what Castiel wants. "You have to stop him," Castiel says. He presses two fingers to Dean's forehead, and Dean wakes up on a bench.
After an intense amount of previouslies, the lying liar credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfell Now With Added Bolton, The Wall, Braavos, and Meereen.
For every single person who shouted, "WHERE IS ARYA??" last episode, we start with Arya. (S: "SHIT, WE HEAR YOU," the show said.) She's still on that boat, but now approaching her destination: Braavos. She's eying the Titan of Braavos kind of suspiciously, which is rather fair when you consider that you have to sail under its crotch. Ternesio Terys (totally looked that name up)(he's the guy that agreed to sail Arya to Braavos)
For every single person who shouted, "WHERE IS ARYA??" last episode, we start with Arya. (S: "SHIT, WE HEAR YOU," the show said.) She's still on that boat, but now approaching her destination: Braavos. She's eying the Titan of Braavos kind of suspiciously, which is rather fair when you consider that you have to sail under its crotch. Ternesio Terys (totally looked that name up)(he's the guy that agreed to sail Arya to Braavos)
Everything is usually so shiny and bright when a new season starts! I'll admit that I'm more hesitant than normal this time 'round because season four started off on such a prolonged, sour note. However, I still got pretty damn giddy when the credits music started. Here we are again, friends! Ready or not.
Democracy Diva: READY. So ready. I may have been running around my apartment singing the GoT theme song to myself in preparation. Also, hi, Traumateers! I'm so excited to be joining the GoT recaps.
Democracy Diva: READY. So ready. I may have been running around my apartment singing the GoT theme song to myself in preparation. Also, hi, Traumateers! I'm so excited to be joining the GoT recaps.
We open outside a hospital at night. Two doctors walk out discussing their plans for the night, and how one has to start work stupidly early the next day. They go their separate ways, and we follow one to his car. He puts a bag into the boot and promptly gets shoved in there after it. He bangs on the closed lid. Cut to him staggering into an emergency room, holding his stomach. A nurse walks up and kindly says that he can move his hands because there's nothing she hasn't seen before. She pulls his hands away, and his intestines fall out onto the floor. She screams.
We begin with a news report that tells us, yup, Sam Keating’s body was definitely found, because you guys are bad at getting away with murder. (M: Okay, so don't throw the body away in a trash can. Got it.) Dumbledore’s Army debates whether Annalise ratted them out, and we play another fun round of “no, it’s your fault!”
Meanwhile, Frank is in his car, being angry and bearded.
Meanwhile, Frank is in his car, being angry and bearded.