Previously: Karen shot Wesley dead. — Jessica: We start with a closeup of the GUN THAT KAREN SHOT WESLEY WITH OH MY GOD. Sorry, still not over the shock of that....
New two-parter = new credits! NPH sings, "the lumber mill is where the Baudelaires are forced to work, the eye doctor is sinister, the owner is a jerk, they end up in a fiendish plot with logs and hypnotism, the very thought of watching should be met with skepticism."
Look away, look away, etc.
New dedication to Beatrice: my love flew like a butterfly, until death swooped down like a bat.
Look away, look away, etc.
New dedication to Beatrice: my love flew like a butterfly, until death swooped down like a bat.
We get another extensive previously section and it reminds us that Littlefinger exists. I think they are going to whip out one "remember them??" character per episode.
Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion.
Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn't know what anyone was doing.
The credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.
Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion.
Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn't know what anyone was doing.
The credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.
I'm so scared.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
Granted, this rating is happening from fuzzy memory, but I feel good about giving it anyway:
Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.
Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.
Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.
Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.
The Core Four are sitting in the diner, with Summer lamenting Ryan and Marissa’s expulsions from Harbor. Ryan and Marissa try to tell her it won’t be that bad, but Summer says it will be for Seth, seeing how before Ryan, he was bullied by people who called him “Death Breath Seth,” and Marissa’s like, uh, YOU called him that. Summer ignores that and says this was supposed to be the best year ever. All Ryan and Marissa want is to go back to school, but Summer tells them it’ll be okay as long as they stick together.
We begin with a Veronica Voice-Over about the magic of senior year. Tis the season of college applications, so Veronica needs to pad her resume with a non-crime-solving-related activity. I'm not sure why - the crime-solving thing would probably look way more attractive to an admissions officer than the stupid FBLA. But that doesn't get us anywhere, plot-wise, so welcome to the Future Business Leaders of America, Veronica Mars!
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
We begin in the Mars Investigations Offices with Veronica tutoring Weevil in math. This scene not only gives us some adorable Veronica/Weevil time but also reminds us that the gang leader with the heart of gold is not only sweeter than he lets on, but smarter than the school system gives him credit for. He dismisses a word problem he doesn't want to answer by giving Bob the fictional Word Problem Guy some financial advice. I'm overselling this - that advice was basically, "Illegal stuff makes a lot of money!"
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
It's over. Remember when we finished S4 and we were all about the party gifs? It was all, "SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, EVERBOODDDYYYYY!" and life was good, you know? This is more like wounded soldiers drinking at the bar, solemnly exchanging war stories and comparing battle scars. We're done. We survived.
Blogging this season has been rough. S6 is heavy and dark and it calls for a lot of breaks. Instead, we watched it twice a week, spending several hours with each episode. That has been a challenge. Admittedly, the other challenge has been the strong feelings of the existing fan base. This season has done some damage that I worry is irreparable.
Blogging this season has been rough. S6 is heavy and dark and it calls for a lot of breaks. Instead, we watched it twice a week, spending several hours with each episode. That has been a challenge. Admittedly, the other challenge has been the strong feelings of the existing fan base. This season has done some damage that I worry is irreparable.
Buffy is walking alone at night, but today we find her not in a graveyard, but on a sidewalk, looking over some information on rental properties. From Buffy we transition to a computer screen that has her image. Video surveillance. Jonathan is asleep in front of the computer until Warren squirts him with a water gun and berates him for sleeping on the job again.
Kirsti: Having recently destroyed a laptop by spilling water on the keyboard, I strongly recommend that Warren NOT use that method again in the future. Course, he's a fucking sociopath and probably has no fucks to give about his computers, so whatevs.
Kirsti: Having recently destroyed a laptop by spilling water on the keyboard, I strongly recommend that Warren NOT use that method again in the future. Course, he's a fucking sociopath and probably has no fucks to give about his computers, so whatevs.
The episode begins with Willow telling Buffy how hideous something looks while lightning crackles. It's just their bridesmaids dresses that they're discussing. Willow is actually Best Man, though, which earns her some bonus terrible sleeve. Actually, it's sort of a nice analogy for the way bridesmaids dresses work -- your stupid dress highlights the special snowflake that is the bride. It figures, then, that the show's eponymous character would have the less stupid of the two dresses. Willow's thinking the traditional blood larva and burlap sounds less bad. No, Willow, it definitely doesn't.
Kirsti: Oh God, the dresses. They're SO AWFUL. Also, I've always thought that the tradition was "blood lava" because in non-US English, larva and lava are pronounced the same. I can't decide if it makes less sense or more sense now.
Kirsti: Oh God, the dresses. They're SO AWFUL. Also, I've always thought that the tradition was "blood lava" because in non-US English, larva and lava are pronounced the same. I can't decide if it makes less sense or more sense now.
Regardless of what you were when you first watched this episode (book reader, spoiled show watcher, or unspoiled show watcher), I think we all sat down to this episode with the anxiety only the best content can create. It's episode 9, friends, also known as the episode that brought us the beheading of Ned Stark, the Battle of the Blackwater and now this.
Sweeney: I told Lor this already, but in our on-going game of, "Haha, see what shit the other can get stuck with!" -- usually played out on Fifty Shades, and occasionally Buffy -- this was probably the worst draw yet.
Sweeney: I told Lor this already, but in our on-going game of, "Haha, see what shit the other can get stuck with!" -- usually played out on Fifty Shades, and occasionally Buffy -- this was probably the worst draw yet.
I think the credits like me better than Sweeney. I get a new place today! Off we go to King's Landing, Harrenhal, Riverrun, Winterfell on Fire, The Wall, and Yunkai!
Sweeney: OH. COOL. -_-
Lor: We start at the Brotherhood Without Banners and they are praying to the Lord of Light, to give them wisdom and to let The Hound die if he's guilty, "for the night is dark and full of terrors." I feel really bad stereotyping an entire group of fictional characters based solely on their religion, but maybe now that they've all chanted "the night is dark" thing, I can stereotype them based on their motto? No? I'M SORRY. They are just creeping me out now.
Sweeney: OH. COOL. -_-
Lor: We start at the Brotherhood Without Banners and they are praying to the Lord of Light, to give them wisdom and to let The Hound die if he's guilty, "for the night is dark and full of terrors." I feel really bad stereotyping an entire group of fictional characters based solely on their religion, but maybe now that they've all chanted "the night is dark" thing, I can stereotype them based on their motto? No? I'M SORRY. They are just creeping me out now.
The moody music starts right away as Angel winds a clock and tests the levelness of his desk. Cordelia and Doyle enter. She gives us the exposition: Angel was in Sunnydale for three days and saw Buffy! Why isn't he brooding more? Cordy's guess is that his lack of brooding actually means that he's brooding more than usual. Cordy sees him take out a stake from his desk, assumes the worst, and rushes into the office telling him it's not worth it! He will meet someone else! Angel explains he just needs the stake to level his desk, which just seems like the most inefficient way to level anything. He is going to trip over that stake. For sure.
Sweeney: It's round! That doesn't even make sense!
Sweeney: It's round! That doesn't even make sense!
Sweeney: Nothing new to report from the title credits. Winterfell is still on fire, and we're still upset about it. Astapor, home of Baby Fun Dip is still on the map. You know what is new this time? BRAN'S BACK. We begin the episode in what must be his dream, because he's running. Also, this kid is growing crazy fast. Don't child actors realize that they need to slow that shit down?
Related: I also suspect that allowing our youngest actors to grow up might be something of an added perk for the writers in dragging out the third book across two seasons. Again, haven't read them, but I can imagine that the age of the actors becoming an issue at some point.
Related: I also suspect that allowing our youngest actors to grow up might be something of an added perk for the writers in dragging out the third book across two seasons. Again, haven't read them, but I can imagine that the age of the actors becoming an issue at some point.