Tag: Katherine Kavanagh

After Chapter 09 – Good night, Theresa.

So, the sinner music has been dialed up to 10 and Tessa is, I don't know, rueing the day she was born.
I suppose the reason she really hated the fact that the music got LOUD is that she wants to find Steph. Instead of waiting for the music to stop or getting closer to Nate or using her own damn legs to walk around and look, Tessa decides to point a lot and yell at Nate.

Grey Chapter 14 – Talk to the groin.

Grey starts his day by casually jogging past Ana’s new apartment. He chuckles to himself about what a stalker he is but then immediately gets defensive. He’s just out for a run, OK? ‘It’s a free country’. Dude, there’s no one else here. You’re literally arguing with yourself right now about whether or not you’re being a stalker.
Marines: So, really, the question is if you are a deranged stalker or a super deranged stalker. It's a close call.

Grey Chapter 11 – Symbolic Bullshit

Before we get started on this chapter, I’d like to thank Mari for picking up chapter 9 (the sex contract chapter) while I was completely swamped with finishing my masters degree. However, I've kind of screwed myself over, because now I have to cover this extremely long chapter instead. Come back, sex contract! All is forgiven! (Not really).
Marines: I love you, but this worked out so well for me.

Grey Chapter 10 – Sexy … asparagus?

So right off, Grey orders a glass of Sancerre at a bar. It appears he doesn't have the same level of hate for it as he does for Chardonnay, but with his volatile personality, who the hell knows.
The reason he's chugging (I assume) wine at the bar is he's waiting for Ana for their date. He's nervous, because he's never taken a sub out to dinner before, and that crazy Ana insisted on driving herself so he can't control her every movement from the house onward. Other than that, he's had a pretty normal day so far doing business stuff, including firing three people.

Grey Chapter 08 – Plateau of terribleness

In a small paragraph that's obviously just left over from last chapter, Grey informs us that he goes to bed sometime after 1 a.m. He's excited to continue work on his new project – Anastasia Steele: Virgin.
Alex: Fucksake. He actually calls her "a new project". We're literally three sentences into the chapter and I'm already getting a rage migraine.
Marines: If you want to black out early, try thinking about whether incessant talk of training her is worse than "new project."
J: Nothing is worse. We've just reached a plateau where everything is terrible.

Grey Chapter 06 – Longest. Chapter. Ever.

My last recap was mostly just a bunch of stuff from FSoG slightly rewritten from Grey’s PoV. It seems that I’ve got pretty much the same deal this time, only A MILLION TIMES WORSE, because now I have the dubious honour of recapping Grey’s first sex scene.
Luckily, though, I have a while to prepare myself for that, because this is also the LONGEST CHAPTER OF ALL TIME. It just keeps going and going. I’ll be surprised if anyone is even still reading by the time we get to the sex part.
Jessica: Your perseverance in not only reading, but writing, is impressive. Just reading this took colossal effort.

Grey Chapter 05 – LEAVE KATE ALONE

We start with Grey standing in front of the bathroom mirror, contemplating how much amazing sleep he's gotten lately and thinking about Ana. He says “As I shave, the asshole in the mirror stares back at me with cool, gray eyes” and before I finish the sentence my brain has already leapt to OH GOD HE'S SHAVING HIS ASSHOLE YOU GUYS. And I realize I'm ruined forever. I hope you're happy, Mari.
Alex: In case you were wondering, the italicised outbursts from Grey's penis while he shaves are 'Liar' swiftly followed by 'Fuck'. Maybe that razor got a little too close for comfort.

Grey Chapter 03 – Men or tea?

It's the day after Grey's stalker-shopping trip. He's out for an early-morning run as he listens to Moby and recalls dreaming about Ana last night. (J: For some reason, knowing Grey listens to Moby makes me laugh.) In his dream she was on her knees and calling him 'sir'. How sweet. His run apparently goes on for TWO WHOLE HOURS, although E.L. James thankfully manages to resist the urge to narrate the entire thing and instead skips to Grey jogging past a coffee shop on his way back to the hotel. He briefly considers asking Ana out for a coffee date, but then he laughs at himself because that's something a normal non-murdery person would do. Ew.

Grey Chapter 01 – Straight from the laundry.

The last actual book recap we posted went up in October of 2013. WHAT EVEN. I mean, sure, there were lots of series wrap-up posts, a trailer to dissect and a movie to die through, but still. It seems like only yesterday we were holding each other in the comments.
I sent out an email to the rest of the Snark Ladies asking if any of them loved me enough/hated their lives enough to recap along with me. Some of them will be popping in and out for one off things, but two brave souls volunteered as tributes: Alex and Jessica. Say hello ladies!

Snark Squad Sentiments: Dissecting the Fifty Shades Trailer

Lorraine: Hello, friends! Long time no see in this dusty "Fifty Shades" corner of Snark Squad. In fact, the last time we were here, Charlie Hunnam was still slated to play Christian Grey.
Sweeney: I'm so glad we got to have this gif for the final Fifty Shades posts. It was so useful!
Lor: Fast forward to ten months later and the official release of the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer:

Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 03: It’s a good thing I can drink legally.

Ana calls Kate with the photo shoot news and Kate's very excited. She's also convinced that Grey's intentions are more than just a helping out the newspaper. Kate's all, "isn't it kind of weird that he followed you all the way to where you work and gave you his cell phone number?" Yes. Yes it is.
Ana regurgitates Grey's "I was in the area" thing and I can just imagine Kate rolling her eyes.
I didn't mention this in chapter 2, but Ana keeps telling us about this "small, quiet voice" in her head. Actually, she told us specifically that this voice was coming from the base of her brain in the medulla oblongata where her subconscious lives, because E.L. James wants to make sure you have all the details, ever. And, I know we all have conscious thought but her voice is kind of creepy and it's always whispering things.

Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 02: Hardware stores make me intense.

Ana hurries off the elevator, eager to get away from Grey, and almost falls. Again. I'm trying really hard here not to make the SHE IS BELLA SWAN observation, but I guess I just failed. Beyond that, I'm always very confused by authors who want to make their characters clumsy. I mean, I'm clumsy! I am. But it just always comes across so heavy handed in books. Ana just fell Bambi-style in Grey's office. Did we need her tripping off of an elevator a few pages later?
Ana tells us no less than four times that she has no idea what her reaction to Grey was all about. Well Ana, my personal opinion is that your reaction to Grey was all about you being an idiot. I guess we were supposed to glean that she was having a strong reaction to being around him. It's probably 'cause he's got all that built up static electricity.