You guys, we are so close to the torture being over. SO CLOSE.
This chapter is called "Vote", so WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?!
Edward grabs Bella and jumps out the window before putting her onto his back like a baby monkey and running off into the forest. Now that she's a daredevil and not a wuss, Bella keeps her eyes open and thinks that vampire piggyback is far superior than riding a motorcycle for thrills. She kisses Edward's neck and he promises them both that he'll win her trust back.
Prue is at the most 90's photoshoot ever (one of the posing dudes is wearing a metallic shirt), showing off her portfolio to an art director (?). He's impressed with her work even though she probably threw the whole thing together over the weekend. It's not enough to get her a job, though, because her resume shows she's an evil job switcher. Prue asks if she can have a shot anyway and the AD agrees to give her the job if she can get a photo of Amy Adams Maggie Murphy, an unlucky Irish woman (Haha! the irony!) who used to do good things until she got unlucky. He wants an artistic photo of Maggie's inner soul by 5 PM.
We continue on immediately after Cas dropping his "we're gonna kill Anna" bombshell, and the boys demand to know why because she's an innocent girl. Uriel chuckles and says she's far from innocent, and almost as gross as Ruby. He demands that they hand her over. "Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try JDate," Dean sasses. I admit, I did chuckle a bit at that.
Uriel calls Ruby a "demon whore" so that we can get our first round of misogyny shots over nice and early, and a fight breaks out. Uriel pins Ruby against a wall, and Dean rushes over to help. Cas walks slowly towards Sam, who begs him not to do this.
Uriel calls Ruby a "demon whore" so that we can get our first round of misogyny shots over nice and early, and a fight breaks out. Uriel pins Ruby against a wall, and Dean rushes over to help. Cas walks slowly towards Sam, who begs him not to do this.
Halliwell Manor. The P's have somehow scraped up enough friends to throw a party even though they only ever hang out with each other. Prue congratulates Piper on her successful shindig, but Piper's too busy fretting over the fact that her dull boyfriends are chatting with each other.
Marines: Piper is on screen for two seconds before she's talking about Dan and Leo. Make it stop.
Steph: It's going to go on until the end of the season isn't it?
Phoebe appears on the stairwell irritated by the noise because she's studying phobias for her exam. She's wearing a kimono with chopsticks in her hair. You know, regular pajama-type clothes.
Marines: Piper is on screen for two seconds before she's talking about Dan and Leo. Make it stop.
Steph: It's going to go on until the end of the season isn't it?
Phoebe appears on the stairwell irritated by the noise because she's studying phobias for her exam. She's wearing a kimono with chopsticks in her hair. You know, regular pajama-type clothes.
Yes, I totally pilfered that title from the Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman book. Shut up.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean's panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It's kind of like when you're playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up... (M: I don't really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he's in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it's not a real coffin, it's made out of crappy bits of 2x4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean's panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It's kind of like when you're playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up... (M: I don't really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he's in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it's not a real coffin, it's made out of crappy bits of 2x4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.
We'll start this with an announcement: Sweeney is officially bowing out of these recaps. It's mostly because she needed to reorganize how she spends her time and this was an easier thing to take off her plate. She can probably tell you all her reasoning in the comments, because she's still going to try and hang out there and perhaps keep up with the series. That said, Sara will be joining us as the third recapper and our official Snow. YAY SARA!
Now episode:
GILES. I'm glad we're getting this out of the way so soon in the episode because GILES, GILES, GILES!
Now episode:
GILES. I'm glad we're getting this out of the way so soon in the episode because GILES, GILES, GILES!
I'm absolutely certain that last episode was the last one I saw during my first watch. If I recall correctly, Fox didn't air this episode, so THIS IS EXCITING! Snow status activated.
Stephanie: I'm jealous! Can I be a kinda-snow because I don't remember what happens?
Sweeney: It's a white Christmas around here! WINTER HAS COME.
Mari: Felicia Day! starts us off in some clearly combat sort of scenario.
Stephanie: I'm jealous! Can I be a kinda-snow because I don't remember what happens?
Sweeney: It's a white Christmas around here! WINTER HAS COME.
Mari: Felicia Day! starts us off in some clearly combat sort of scenario.
Rich people stuff like large lawns and horseback riding: a woman rides up on a horse and calls out to a man named Jack that she'll be done shortly and he should behave himself. Rich Lady (Margaret) blows him a kiss and rides off. Jack is sitting with a group of his buds and they joke about not actually ever playing tennis, and just sitting around day drinking. It's all fun until one of his bros sees Margaret's horse, suspiciously sans Margaret.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
A black man sits down to dinner with his son when suddenly, some thugs (according to the episode description) break into the house. Thugs grab the boy and tell the dad that they're going to borrow him and will return him Monday. It's all rather polite right up until the Thug with the gun knocks the dad unconscious.
Halliwell Manor. Phoebe is painting her toenails in the attic, where her sisters are spring cleaning. Prue is doing most of it with her telekinesis. She hopes that doesn't count as personal gain and I'm already laughing bitterly. "Personal gain" might be this show's "soul."
Halliwell Manor. Phoebe is painting her toenails in the attic, where her sisters are spring cleaning. Prue is doing most of it with her telekinesis. She hopes that doesn't count as personal gain and I'm already laughing bitterly. "Personal gain" might be this show's "soul."
Red Lodge, Montana. A terrified girl runs through the woods at night, a man chasing her. She hides behind a tree, and the man runs past her. Or so she thinks. She peeks out from behind the tree, and he chops off her head.
FLAME ON!
After the Not!Credits, we're treated to the delightful strains of AC/DC's Back In Black as the newly remodelled Bromobile rolls down the road. There's like 30 seconds straight of car close-ups just so we can marvel at how shiny it is.
FLAME ON!
After the Not!Credits, we're treated to the delightful strains of AC/DC's Back In Black as the newly remodelled Bromobile rolls down the road. There's like 30 seconds straight of car close-ups just so we can marvel at how shiny it is.
YOU GUYS. WE MADE IT TO THE END OF THIS RIDICULOUS SHOW. I honestly thought this day would never come. In some ways it's been a million times harder for me than Buffy because so many of the episodes were meh-tastic and Whedon kept killing off all the female characters. Still, WE MADE IT. And that warrants a dance party!
Sweeney: ALWAYS DANCE PARTIES. ALWAYS.
Lorraine: This post is going up a little late because of timezone issues. So, Kirsti told me to celebrate the end while she went to sleep. I told her I was at work. She said I should have a dance party in the bathroom.
Sweeney: ALWAYS DANCE PARTIES. ALWAYS.
Lorraine: This post is going up a little late because of timezone issues. So, Kirsti told me to celebrate the end while she went to sleep. I told her I was at work. She said I should have a dance party in the bathroom.
We start underwater. Remember when Connor sunk Angel and the entire show basically went down with him but didn't get pulled back out again? I'm keeping that in mind because I've been warned that after the last two gems, this is, you know, not so much. Anyway, this underwater scene is a WWII submarine that is being evacuated. What are the evacuation procedures for a submarine? I've never given this much thought. I don't actually find out (yet) because we just see that whatever has them all distressed is probably demonic. We don't see what, but there's a lot of blood.
Kirsti: And to think, the last time we started an episode without the Fang Gang, I was instantly hooked. This time? Bored within the first ten seconds.
Kirsti: And to think, the last time we started an episode without the Fang Gang, I was instantly hooked. This time? Bored within the first ten seconds.
People in the comments were taking bets on how we would react to this episode which would've been all I needed to figure out that the Number Gods have seen it fit to gift me with YET ANOTHER Spike episode. It might be a good thing, though. At least I know it won't be an episode where they shoehorn him in to give one or two punchlines that could be delivered by literally anyone else on the whole team.
Sweeney: You mean *gasp* character development? What's this mythical concept you speak of? Lor put it best in the comments, but it's worth reiterating here: didn't even like this character but WOW has he been badly used by the AtS writers so far.
Sweeney: You mean *gasp* character development? What's this mythical concept you speak of? Lor put it best in the comments, but it's worth reiterating here: didn't even like this character but WOW has he been badly used by the AtS writers so far.
We begin in a ridiculously fancy-shmancy driveway. I start to worry that everything on this show will make me think about Marissa Cooper, because all I can see is the sun setting behind her dead-eyed, expressionless face. Anyway, the driveway belongs to Logan, and he's yelling at some tourists who are trying to catch a glimpse of his apparently super-famous dad. #richpeopleproblems
At Neptune High, Duncan and Jake Kane are being boring. Dad wants son to run for student council; son has no fucks to give. Jake mentions a "Reign of Kane" and I laugh forever because he's the worst.
At Neptune High, Duncan and Jake Kane are being boring. Dad wants son to run for student council; son has no fucks to give. Jake mentions a "Reign of Kane" and I laugh forever because he's the worst.
Kirsti: We start literally where we left off, with Angelus biting Faith's neck. Suddenly, he stops and drops her, scurrying backwards. "What...did you do?" he asks. Flashback to a few minutes earlier. While Angelus was taunting Wes, Faith grabbed a syringe from her boot and injected something into her arm before re-entering the fight. Back in the present, Angelus staggers around briefly before passing out. Wes asks Faith if she's okay. "Kicked his ass," she slurs before blacking out. Electric cellos.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.