Previously: Sex at work. — Marines: We did a live-show on our Patreon recently and someone asked when we would finish After. lol. Samantha: *Is* there an end? I’ve sort of...
Pacey's asleep on the sofa when Joey wakes him up by singing happy birthday and shoving a cupcake in his face.
He's none too pleased by this method of being woken up, and hopes like hell for no further acknowledgement of his birthday because birthdays are the actual worst.
Chelsea: This is not the way to wake someone up, ESPECIALLY ON THEIR BIRTHDAY. You let them wake up naturally and then bribe them with cake.
He's none too pleased by this method of being woken up, and hopes like hell for no further acknowledgement of his birthday because birthdays are the actual worst.
Chelsea: This is not the way to wake someone up, ESPECIALLY ON THEIR BIRTHDAY. You let them wake up naturally and then bribe them with cake.
I honestly kept forgetting to write this recap. I've never been so proud of my brain.
Anyway.
"Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick."
Can I just start using "music to me [body part]" in real life now?
We start this chapter right in the middle of a goddamn conversation because EL James is the worst. If you'll recall, Ana wanted to talk about Grey's messed up childhood and he was like, "no. Vagina balls."
Anyway.
"Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick."
Can I just start using "music to me [body part]" in real life now?
We start this chapter right in the middle of a goddamn conversation because EL James is the worst. If you'll recall, Ana wanted to talk about Grey's messed up childhood and he was like, "no. Vagina balls."
We open with a woman showering and lots of long, lingering shots of her back and legs, because OF COURSE WE FUCKING DO.
Marines: I don't know why TV and movies try to make us thing that showers are evil. I love showers. Stop trying to ruin it for me, dammit.
K: EXACTLY.
The door opens behind her and a scrawny looking teenager steps in. The music gets murdery and we get a bizarrely long shot of the shower head. I'm also 90% sure her hair would be really dry because she's not actually rinsing anything off it.
Marines: I don't know why TV and movies try to make us thing that showers are evil. I love showers. Stop trying to ruin it for me, dammit.
K: EXACTLY.
The door opens behind her and a scrawny looking teenager steps in. The music gets murdery and we get a bizarrely long shot of the shower head. I'm also 90% sure her hair would be really dry because she's not actually rinsing anything off it.
PTA meeting. A parent accuses the school board of sentencing their kid to death, which is quite extreme, and also not at all what is going on here. The board has urged Principal Green to reconsider his decision to expel Douchey Jock. Mr. Douchey Jock Sr. is all, "my kid didn't do anything wrong," but Joey stands up to speak her mind about how this has all been blown out of proportion. The school board president basically tells her to sit down and shut up. DJ Sr. says that Principal Green's draconian methods of punishment are more appropriate for an "urban war zone" than civilized community. You see, because Principal Green is black, DJ Sr. can't just call it a war zone. It has to be "urban," because racism. This dude is the grossest. Joey agrees, and so does one member of the school board, who tells DJ Sr. that his son's issues are a result of his own shitty parenting.
Rosewood's One Coffee Shop, after-hours because there is no one around. It's the same day as the last episode so the beginning exposition ("Any word from Jason while we've been together this entire time?") is especially clunky. Emily has not heard anything from Jason. Hanna wonders if now that the whole National Adolescent Terrorization Club is out of Rosewood, A will retire. Spencer gives the appropriately jaded, "YEAH RIGHT." response.
Emily redirects the conversation over to Cece lying to them about knowing Wilden. The girls wonder if maybe she's Red Coat. Spencer is distracted by an incoming text message. Aria asks her what she thinks and she's all, "maybe Cece is Red Coat!" Aria tells her to pay attention.
Emily redirects the conversation over to Cece lying to them about knowing Wilden. The girls wonder if maybe she's Red Coat. Spencer is distracted by an incoming text message. Aria asks her what she thinks and she's all, "maybe Cece is Red Coat!" Aria tells her to pay attention.
The episode starts with all of the girls in their separate rooms in no way referencing what happened last episode. JUST KIDDING. They are all in the Marin Manor kitchen. Emily's explaining that some pipes broke in the house, meaning that Hanna and Em have to share a room. Hanna says that it'll be like a never-ending sleep over and Aria and Spencer give each other hilarious side eye.
Sara: Aria is so good at that side eye. I can't stop watching.
Sweeney: Those big old powderpuff eyes of hers can pull of all sorts of wonderful expressions. There's a slight eyeroll to the Aria shrug, too, that really enhances it.
Sara: Aria is so good at that side eye. I can't stop watching.
Sweeney: Those big old powderpuff eyes of hers can pull of all sorts of wonderful expressions. There's a slight eyeroll to the Aria shrug, too, that really enhances it.
Previously: Ana disobeys Grey when she decides to go have a drink with Kate. When she gets back home, turns out Jack Hyde has been apprehended by her security people....
HAI BLOG HAI. So a whole shitstorm of shitstorminess happened right after I got married. For example, 1) my car broke down and I had to buy a new one, b) my laptop committed suicide, and 2a) I got laid off at work. Just last night, my wonderful husband fixed my computer because he is the best husband in the whole world really, really tired of listening to me bitch about it.
The moment I found out my laptop was fixed, I texted Lorraine to say, "COMPUTER FIXED. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I AM SO IN." Because when you're talking about a book as awful as this one, the shouty capitals are really necessary.
The moment I found out my laptop was fixed, I texted Lorraine to say, "COMPUTER FIXED. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I AM SO IN." Because when you're talking about a book as awful as this one, the shouty capitals are really necessary.
Lorraine: Ana and Grey are hugging post Bicycle Gate. Ana's suddenly convinced that she's a telepath, as she's sending some very intense, "KISS ME DAMN IT," thoughts towards Grey. She would make the first move but:
1.) this is the first time, ever, in 21 years that Ana's wanted to kiss anyone at all. I'm pretty sure if she went in for the kiss first, well...
2.) Something is wrong with Ana! See, she's "paralyzed with a strange, unfamiliar need." She's like one of those goats that faint when they get scared. Except it's when her *ahem* happy parts *ahem* get happy. BAM. Paralyzed.
1.) this is the first time, ever, in 21 years that Ana's wanted to kiss anyone at all. I'm pretty sure if she went in for the kiss first, well...
2.) Something is wrong with Ana! See, she's "paralyzed with a strange, unfamiliar need." She's like one of those goats that faint when they get scared. Except it's when her *ahem* happy parts *ahem* get happy. BAM. Paralyzed.