Rosewood used to have One Restaurant but I think they gave up on that and started serving food in the One Coffee Shop. That's where we find our girls now. They exposit in the clunkiest ways possible the events of Wilden's murder and funeral. ("I was looking at that freaky woman!" "Which one?" "Oh, you know, the one with the veil we all saw and would definitely be described as freaky! REMEMBER?" Yes girls, we remember. Thank you.)
Sweeney: Next time we hang out I think we need to better prepare for the TV version of our lives by having long conversations about things we just did.
The episode picks up where the last one left off and I'm actually kind of glad we're not watching real time because if I had to wait months to see them open the trunk for this big reveal, I'd be pissed. The trunk contents? A dead pig. That's it. This fucking show.
Lorraine: Mother of all curb-hangers.
Sweeney: The girls start to blame Mona for setting them up, but crazy bitch actually the only one thinking smart - she's stealing the hard drive with the video of Ashley Marin running over Detective Wilden.
Lorraine: Mother of all curb-hangers.
Sweeney: The girls start to blame Mona for setting them up, but crazy bitch actually the only one thinking smart - she's stealing the hard drive with the video of Ashley Marin running over Detective Wilden.
At Rosewood High School for Nervous Breakdowns, Emily, Aria, and Hanna are freaking out because Spencer Hastings is no longer showing up for school. Hanna's less concerned, though, because she figures that Spencer's just hurting and lashing out and needs to work through her pain.
Emily resolves to comfort her and share the I Dreamed A Dream of Girls in Red Coats news, because this plot is now being openly fueled by stress dreams. Hanna supports this by saying she maybe also imagined a Blonde in Red Coat at her fake job interview.
Emily resolves to comfort her and share the I Dreamed A Dream of Girls in Red Coats news, because this plot is now being openly fueled by stress dreams. Hanna supports this by saying she maybe also imagined a Blonde in Red Coat at her fake job interview.
At Rosewood's One Coffee Shop For Girls Who Need to Learn About Sleeping In, the girls are sitting on the couch that they seem to always commandeer as Aria tells them that Ezra sent an, "I'm here" text but otherwise, hasn't communicated with her. I guess he's too busy meeting his child to text his child-girlfriend. Spencer is still acting all shifty and excuses herself to get a coffee refill, leaving the rest of the Liars to discuss whether or not Detective Wilden has already read the Biology Cluebook, meaning he knows what they know. Which is what we know and translates to, "three seasons of very, very little." Something like that.
Sweeney: In the years of working on this blog, I've learned that a lot of people are making very good money by taking things they've already written (or that someone else already wrote) and basically throwing a thesaurus at the situation in order to come out with a "new" thing, for which they can be paid again.
Sweeney: In the years of working on this blog, I've learned that a lot of people are making very good money by taking things they've already written (or that someone else already wrote) and basically throwing a thesaurus at the situation in order to come out with a "new" thing, for which they can be paid again.
After the horror of THE LATEST BAD THING, the girls sit around Montgomery Manse drinking tea and brooding with Aria. Hanna breezes in like a breath of fresh air, with her bubbly personality and bag of sick coping trashy pop culture, which is how Snark Ladies deal too.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
Aria is watching a black and white film when her father comes in and PAUSES THE MOVIE. WHO ARE YOU, BYRON MONTGOMERY? What murder are we still trying to figure out? Alison's? Byron did it. He pauses other people's movies and is therefore evil.
Really, he wants to talk about the fire someone started at that charity race last episode. Aria says they talked about it enough when Shitbag Montgomery was accusing her and the Liars of setting it. As it turns out, the principal called Byron because they've identified the real culprit. Byron's all, "sorry," and Aria uses her Big Eyes to give him a death glare. She grabs the control and unpauses the movie. Byron tries to chat about the movie, saying the dude keeps a severed head in a hatbox and Aria looks at him like, "OH MY GOD, DAD. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL THE MOVIE?"
Really, he wants to talk about the fire someone started at that charity race last episode. Aria says they talked about it enough when Shitbag Montgomery was accusing her and the Liars of setting it. As it turns out, the principal called Byron because they've identified the real culprit. Byron's all, "sorry," and Aria uses her Big Eyes to give him a death glare. She grabs the control and unpauses the movie. Byron tries to chat about the movie, saying the dude keeps a severed head in a hatbox and Aria looks at him like, "OH MY GOD, DAD. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL THE MOVIE?"
Hanna is waiting outside the vice principal's office with her mother as well as her new stepsister and stepmother. Everyone is silent and in various degrees of feels over the mass message of naked Kate. Hanna's phone rings and Ashley gives her, "Don't you fucking dare look at that phone," face. The principal emerges and says, "Mrs. Marin," which awkwardly gets a response from both his current and his ex wife.
The other three PLLs are looking at a red coat that Spencer picked up with Ali's claim ticket conveniently tucked into Hanna's stolen copy of Lolita. Aria doesn't think Ali would wear it, but Spencer thinks that this is probably part of Wigison's special separate wardrobe.
Lorraine: Definitely have to have a wardrobe that goes well with a wig, you know? You have to respect Wigison for her commitment.
The other three PLLs are looking at a red coat that Spencer picked up with Ali's claim ticket conveniently tucked into Hanna's stolen copy of Lolita. Aria doesn't think Ali would wear it, but Spencer thinks that this is probably part of Wigison's special separate wardrobe.
Lorraine: Definitely have to have a wardrobe that goes well with a wig, you know? You have to respect Wigison for her commitment.
The girls are at Spencer's house, looking at the files Caleb has managed to decode. Hanna wants the Liars to stop using Caleb for help, because she doesn't want to involve him in their dramz. My feeling is, he's probably already involved, so you might as well use his magical wolfy hacking powers for good, right?
Sweeney: Definitely. Especially because it earns him more screen time, which really is a service to the greater good.
Sara: The file he's managed to decode is just the You Know You Wanna Kiss Me video, and the girls are like, SRSLY AGAIN because if this video gets any longer, it's going to be its own episode. But once we get to the end of it, the video cuts to a new location that we haven't seen before. Aria alerts us to it being Alison's bedroom, and we that Ian is setting this camera up in a secret place and WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. It only gets worse when Garrett and Blind!Jenna show up. They ask where New Jason is, and Ian tells them that weed + alcohol made him pass out.
Sweeney: Definitely. Especially because it earns him more screen time, which really is a service to the greater good.
Sara: The file he's managed to decode is just the You Know You Wanna Kiss Me video, and the girls are like, SRSLY AGAIN because if this video gets any longer, it's going to be its own episode. But once we get to the end of it, the video cuts to a new location that we haven't seen before. Aria alerts us to it being Alison's bedroom, and we that Ian is setting this camera up in a secret place and WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. It only gets worse when Garrett and Blind!Jenna show up. They ask where New Jason is, and Ian tells them that weed + alcohol made him pass out.
The first episode of season two starts moments after where we left off at the end of For Whom the Bell Tolls. The girls are sharing a group WTF over the fact that Ian was most definitely dead, and now his body is missing. They of course attribute this to A shenanigans.
Creepy Jenna-kissing Officer Garrett comes over to tell the girls that they are being taken down to the station and their parents will meet them there. The girls don't question this, and hop on into Officer Garrett's car. He takes a turn that is decidedly not towards the station, pulls into a back alley and demands that the girls all get out of the car in a super creepy fashion.
Creepy Jenna-kissing Officer Garrett comes over to tell the girls that they are being taken down to the station and their parents will meet them there. The girls don't question this, and hop on into Officer Garrett's car. He takes a turn that is decidedly not towards the station, pulls into a back alley and demands that the girls all get out of the car in a super creepy fashion.