Previously: Mated for sure now. — Episode 6 Marines: We start the episode by seeing that Diana has been kidnapped by Satu, who is flying them, much to Diana’s shock and...
Sioux City, Iowa. Also known as the place where I first paid for accommodation on my own and freaked out that the Motel 6 was going to be all "Get out, child". But no. Anysegue, it's Iowa Celebrates Magic Week, and there are people on the street doing tricks with cards and doves and whatnot. At a bar, an old guy shows off his card tricks to the bartender AND OH MY GOD I'VE SEEN THIS EPISODE LIKE FIVE TIMES AND I JUST REALISED IT'S THE GUY WHO PLAYED BRAD IN ROCKY HORROR.
The bartender's impressed, but another magician - this one wearing a cape that I'm pretty sure he borrowed from Fake Dracula - pooh poohs his tricks and gives away the secret and is generally a dick.
The bartender's impressed, but another magician - this one wearing a cape that I'm pretty sure he borrowed from Fake Dracula - pooh poohs his tricks and gives away the secret and is generally a dick.
Guys, I wrote the first twenty minutes of this recap and lost it all because of some combination of the Internet and Wordpress hating me. There was no autosave. It took me so long to recap this crap because of some combination of busy life times and me resenting this episode because I had to watch it again. Did you hear me? I HAVE TO WATCH A PORTION OF AN EPISODE TWICE.
Stephanie: I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic experience. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
Stephanie: I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic experience. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
Announcement: Despite my recent Twitter crusade to support her and get her some respectable trashy drama work, I've been spelling Shannen Doherty's name wrong this whole time. (Shannon vs. Shannen). I apologize to Ms. Doherty. Also, in prepartion for my public apology, I checked out her Twitter. She's currently working to save the dolphins, so probably she's plenty busy and doesn't need my Twitter support. Never gonna stop, though.
"Pop's Gym." Two men are boxing. Another man, with a very professional mullet, walks in and observes. Aggressive Boxing Man [ABM] knocks the crap out of Ow, My Face Hurts Man. Next, cut to Aggressive Boxing Man packing his bags. Professional Mullet finds him and says he's a fan of his bloody boxing work.
"Pop's Gym." Two men are boxing. Another man, with a very professional mullet, walks in and observes. Aggressive Boxing Man [ABM] knocks the crap out of Ow, My Face Hurts Man. Next, cut to Aggressive Boxing Man packing his bags. Professional Mullet finds him and says he's a fan of his bloody boxing work.
Some dude breaks into a house very easily and tries to tell his twitchy friend, Clay, that they have nothing to worry about; the owner of the house is dead. B&Es Are Easy says he's off to grab the urn. There is a third man present. He follows after B&Es Are Easy and asks if Clay is in the know. B&Es Are Easy says it's better not to spook Clay, who would totally believe that some curse killed the house owner.
Third Man is all, "IDK. Dead House Owner was stung by a scorpion. On an airplane." B&Es Are Easy asks if Third Man is buying into the curse thing too and despite what he just said about scorpions on airplanes, Third Man is like, "nope."
Third Man is all, "IDK. Dead House Owner was stung by a scorpion. On an airplane." B&Es Are Easy asks if Third Man is buying into the curse thing too and despite what he just said about scorpions on airplanes, Third Man is like, "nope."
In a parking garage that is strangely lit in blue, one white dude in a suit greets another white dude in a suit, in a stalker-y way. Dr. Mitchell tries to get into his car but the Fanboy Stalker blocks his path and gushes about Dr. Mitchell's studies in cell degeneration. Fanboy says Dr. Mitchell has become kind of a hobby of his and mentions a paper that hasn't even been published yet. Fanboy assures the doctor that it will be published and that he will also find a vaccine. Dr. Mitchell asks for what and Fanboy shoots him with a blue laser in the forehead.
The Halliwell sisters are waiting in a line for something and Phoebe brought along a Magic 8 Ball. In public.
The Halliwell sisters are waiting in a line for something and Phoebe brought along a Magic 8 Ball. In public.
Phoebe runs into Qua ke and some bro comes over to ask if she's a terrorist because she's the bomb. As much as I'm sure I could end the recap there, another random bro taps into this bad pick-up line ring, asking if it hurt when Phoebe fell from heaven. She whispers in his ear that she's a witch, not an angel, because she's on a one woman mission to basically announce that to everyone, ever.
Phoebe joins her sisters, who are staring at a couple making out at the bar. Phoebe and Piper moan about being single. A cheery waitress delivers a drink to Prue and points out the man in the restaurant who sent it to her.
Phoebe joins her sisters, who are staring at a couple making out at the bar. Phoebe and Piper moan about being single. A cheery waitress delivers a drink to Prue and points out the man in the restaurant who sent it to her.
One of these days, I'll stop making KFC references in the title. BUT NOT TODAY. Chez Summers. Buffy wanders around in the dark, turning off lights, picking up books and generally checking on sleeping Potentials. Upstairs, she sees one girl, Chloe, crying in the corner of the hallway and heads towards her. But something jumps out at her and knocks her down the stairs. She lands at the bottom, the First Slayer above her. "It's not enough," the First Slayer hisses, and Buffy wakes with a start. Cue wolf howl.
Lorraine: I'm going to admit that I'd previously been confusing the First and the First Slayer in my head. #Snowproblems.
K: Awkward...
Lorraine: I'm going to admit that I'd previously been confusing the First and the First Slayer in my head. #Snowproblems.
K: Awkward...
After approximately a million years worth of previouslies, we're in the cemetery at night. Rona and Vi wander around looking nervous, stakes in hand. They hear a rustling noise behind them and are jumped by Spike. He goes to bite Vi, then stops as the camera pulls back to reveal Buffy and the other Potentials conducting a training exercise. Rona complains that it's never going to be a fair fight, because she doesn't have Slayer strength, and Buffy informs them that while they may not have that, they're still strong. It would be a nice "YAY GIRL POWER!" speech if it didn't continue with her saying that they're strong because they have abilities that other, non-potential-slayer girls don't have. Sigh. On the plus side, she tells them that they have the potential, thereby earning herself a gold star. It's been aaaaaaaaaaaaages since Buffy had one, so wheeeeee:
We start with Lorne sitting in a club singing "The Way We Were." He starts monologuing to the audience about how everyone wants to get their youth back but they all forget how fucked up it is. He starts to tell a story, and says that it starts with a kid. That sends us into a seizure cut sequence of Connor angrily walking down the street while flashbacking to kissing Cordy. Hey Lor? Was there any brain bleach left from last time?
Lorraine: I've got an industrial order in. We'll make sure to always have a bottle or 5 at the Table of Ugh.
K: EXCELLENT. Anyway, Lorne changes his mind and says that the story really starts with Cordy's question to Angel at the end of the last episode - "Were we in love?" We cut over to them. Angel dithers a response, and Cordy gets about as pissed as I imagine Lor and Sweeney were during this moment.
Lorraine: I've got an industrial order in. We'll make sure to always have a bottle or 5 at the Table of Ugh.
K: EXCELLENT. Anyway, Lorne changes his mind and says that the story really starts with Cordy's question to Angel at the end of the last episode - "Were we in love?" We cut over to them. Angel dithers a response, and Cordy gets about as pissed as I imagine Lor and Sweeney were during this moment.
We start exactly where we left off, because this aired as a two hour finale. Buffy and Anya both pull themselves upright, equal parts thrilled and confused to see Giles. Willow on the other hand says, "Uh oh. Daddy's home." He tells her calmly but coldly that she needs to stop what she's doing, but she replies that she's not done yet. She starts to stand, but Giles says "Stay down" and gestures with his fingers. She falls back to the floor, and informs us that no, Giles didn't go back to England become a crazy powerful warlock. He's using borrowed power.
Giles says that he's there to help, but she has no fucks to give. She uses magic to hover herself into the air. Giles makes his "stay down" gesture again, but Willow makes a gesture of her own, and remains unaffected. Giles looks worried.
Giles says that he's there to help, but she has no fucks to give. She uses magic to hover herself into the air. Giles makes his "stay down" gesture again, but Willow makes a gesture of her own, and remains unaffected. Giles looks worried.
I actually just finished watching Seeing Red about 20 minutes ago. After unloading all of my WHY TARA WHY feelings on Twitter (and the last post), I decided to just finish off my emotions and watch this episode too. The point of all this is just to warn you that I wrote this while my emotions were freshly Whedon-ed. Also, WHY TARA WHY? An ambulance arrives at 1630 Revello.
Kirsti: I stop to have thousands and thousands of feels because the last time an ambulance was called to Chez Summers, it was in The Body.
Sweeney: And this episode makes plenty of allusions to that one. Thousands of feels totally called for.
Kirsti: I stop to have thousands and thousands of feels because the last time an ambulance was called to Chez Summers, it was in The Body.
Sweeney: And this episode makes plenty of allusions to that one. Thousands of feels totally called for.
The episode starts with a lot of shots of Los Angeles before taking us back to Brooding Hotel, where the gang is patching up the earthquake damaged hotel and Groo is pleading with Angel to heed his advice...on the new color selection. I won't lie, I'm kind of a fan of Groo. Not in the sense that I actually care a great deal what happens to him, but he's kind of precious and amusing.
Lorraine: He was a little off-putting at first, especially in the sense of the love triangle and cockblocking, but I'm warming to him as well.
Sweeney: Angel says no and stops Gunn from throwing away something that is seriously charred. He just wants everything “the way it was.” Hugs.
Lorraine: He was a little off-putting at first, especially in the sense of the love triangle and cockblocking, but I'm warming to him as well.
Sweeney: Angel says no and stops Gunn from throwing away something that is seriously charred. He just wants everything “the way it was.” Hugs.
Buffy is packing up a Slayer Bag-o-Tricks as she fills us in by way of conversation with Dawn that she's running out mid-dinner to go track down some non-vampire beastie. Dawn is gamely saying everything is fine, but her tight smile and stiff body language say otherwise. Dawn says that perhaps they can set-up for Buffy's birthday trauma party the next day when she gets back, but B tells her not to wait up.I wonder how she got word of this baddie, mid-dinner. Bat signal? Also, no, I do not like this flippy hair thing.
Kirsti: Me neither. I was on board with it when she cut it short, but now it just keeps getting more and more flippy, and I think we need to hold an intervention... Also, BRB, HAVING DAWN FEELS.
Kirsti: Me neither. I was on board with it when she cut it short, but now it just keeps getting more and more flippy, and I think we need to hold an intervention... Also, BRB, HAVING DAWN FEELS.
We open in the living room at Chez Summers. Willow is filling Xander and Anya in on the Trio. There's another, "who the fuck is Andrew?" line before Xander asks if they should go over and beat up the Trio given that they know where they live and all. Willow informs him that Buffy already tried, but that the Trio had cleared out of the basement. They left a bunch of stuff behind though, and Buffy pilfered some of it.
Willow fangirls for a moment over the idea of spellbooks and charmed objects before Xander gives her a look. Anya, meanwhile, wants to know where Buffy is because she's going to be late for her first day.
Willow fangirls for a moment over the idea of spellbooks and charmed objects before Xander gives her a look. Anya, meanwhile, wants to know where Buffy is because she's going to be late for her first day.