Previously: No one is happy Dany is in town. — Catherine: After the previouslies remind us that Jaime shoved a child out of a window eight years ago, we’re taken through...
We open on Spencer, who has fallen asleep at Ezra's desk, and is drooling all over the Ali Diary. Ezra walks in, wakes her up and asks what she's doing. She's confused, just as anyone would be to realize that they're in their pajamas, at school, and this is not an actual dream. She tries to leave but he creepy stops her and tells her the path she's on is dangerous, then the bell rings and she uses it to make a break for it. Ezra creepy stares after her. But I guess he's used to people fleeing his dead-eyed stare.
SHHHHH.
Coma-makeup!Spencer is changing in the girl's bathroom.
SHHHHH.
Coma-makeup!Spencer is changing in the girl's bathroom.
Alison is in a phone booth saying very vague things that are both boring and difficult to recap. We cut to Rosewood's One Coffee Shop, where Shana is in a little... phone booth closet? For using cell phones? (S: This is both absurd and exactly the sort of hipster retro bullshit I could see being a real and actual thing at a place like One Coffee Shop.) She watches all the Liars arrive and tells Alison as much. Alison asks Shana for assurance that she can get "it," but Shana has to go because the Liars all turn toward her and are just going to stand there at stare at her, I guess. Spencer asks if they can trust her now and Emily uses the non-human logic that if Ali trusts Shana they should too. That's cool except for the part where Ali is certifiable. BUT OKAY.
We pick up right after the last episode, with the girls hanging out at the mausoleum, the hot spot of all the young liars in town. Spencer has flipped through the journal and doesn't recognize any of the names in it. Hanna says that Ali changed the names around, because she was the kind of girl who even lied to her own diary, or something. Spencer wonders why Hanna kept this to herself for so long and she tries to carefully explain that there is stuff in there that they may not know about each other or stuff they may want to forget. Emily and Spencer get snippy with her for keeping the thing to herself, but Aria calms everyone down.
It's kind of weird because episode 13 is generally the Halloween episode but no one has mentioned Halloween. Instead, the Liars are crashing the Ravenswood-party-that-requires-a-costume-and-is-also-in-a-graveyard. The girls are all, "WTF. Who throws a party in a graveyard?" and the answer is apparently, "Ravenswood" and not, "well, who goes to an Adam Lambert murder Halloween train party, GIRLS?" or "who actually attends a party in a graveyard."
BUT ANY EXCUSE FOR GORGEOUS GIRLS IN COSTUME!
Sweeney: Gorgeous girls in gorgeous, elaborate period costumes. TV teenagers have the best closets.
BUT ANY EXCUSE FOR GORGEOUS GIRLS IN COSTUME!
Sweeney: Gorgeous girls in gorgeous, elaborate period costumes. TV teenagers have the best closets.
Who wants to feel old and realize that if you only watched The OC when it aired, it's been more than 10 years since you've seen this episode? No one, ok, then let's ignore that I mentioned that at all. It helps that Adam Brody looks pretty much exactly the same as he did as Seth Cohen. If time stopped for him, it must've for all of us, right? Totally.
At school, Seth grills Ryan on what's happening with Marissa, because it totally makes sense that he does that with people around and not before they left the house or while they drove to school or anything like that! Ryan says he Marissa are going to go back to being friends. Smarty-pants-Cohen comes through again with the pointing out of their lack of friendship.
At school, Seth grills Ryan on what's happening with Marissa, because it totally makes sense that he does that with people around and not before they left the house or while they drove to school or anything like that! Ryan says he Marissa are going to go back to being friends. Smarty-pants-Cohen comes through again with the pointing out of their lack of friendship.
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson mopes about the fact that Jen doesn't want to hang out any more now that they're exes and all. Because apparently when you dump someone, you should hang out with them all the time? IDEK. Joey "Voice of Reason" Potter informs him that it sounds like he doesn't want to admit it's over. She tells him there are three main areas to focus on in getting over Jen: 1. Public perception, 2. Prepare himself for Jen to date other people, 3. Having the inevitable "can we still be friends?" conversation with Jen. She asks what he'll say in regards to #3, and he has no idea. He wants to be friends, but he also doesn't because "how could you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them, all you think about is how much more you really want them." Joey, inner pain poked with a stick, says that she thinks it can be done.
We start off in the asylum on a stormy night with Mona doing some creepy singing about teddy bears having their picnic today. (Pretty singing, though! Do we have a pretty+creepy word in our creepcabulary? It could often be used to describe Mona.) She's painting a head. (YVONNE LEHEAD?) She draws a big red blob on the lips which are magically perfectly painted a hot second later. Continuity is for people with no imagination. Mona monologues about how she gets to do an art project for Halloween, even though they're not big on Halloween around those parts. She turns around and we see that she's talking to a hooded member of the A-Team (Toby?) as she continues about how much she loves Halloween. (You're making this awkward for me, Mona, because I also love the shit out of Halloween.)
Art is sitting in the station, staring at Sarah's ID photo, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. He puts forth doppelgangers and twins as possible explanations, but Deangelis isn't really sure either one makes any sense. They have to make a house call, since they identified Sarah Manning as their Jane Doe (who was actually Katja) and now they have to make a house call. Art gets Deangelis to agree to keep the Beth-Childs-lookalike thing on the DL until they figure out what's going on.
Felix's Frisky Flat. Sarah and Paul wake up in Felix's bed the next morning. You've asked a lot of Felix, Sarah, but kicking him out of his bed so you can have sex while he sleeps on the couch a couple feet away is crossing the line. (L: Still love my siblings. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.)
Felix's Frisky Flat. Sarah and Paul wake up in Felix's bed the next morning. You've asked a lot of Felix, Sarah, but kicking him out of his bed so you can have sex while he sleeps on the couch a couple feet away is crossing the line. (L: Still love my siblings. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.)
It's nearly finale time, folks, so maybe something will happen this episode! We're dreaming big.
Sweeney: We Snark Ladies dream impossible dreams. Remember all the times we hoped we'd seen the worst of Fifty Shades and then, you know, read more chapters? Good times.
Lor: Indeed. And proof that we're fucking optimists. Clearly.
Spencer is sleeping on the couch and she wakes to some pretty inconsiderate rustling. Turns out it's Alison, which I should've known because that bitch would be making tons of noise while others were trying to sleep.
Sweeney: We Snark Ladies dream impossible dreams. Remember all the times we hoped we'd seen the worst of Fifty Shades and then, you know, read more chapters? Good times.
Lor: Indeed. And proof that we're fucking optimists. Clearly.
Spencer is sleeping on the couch and she wakes to some pretty inconsiderate rustling. Turns out it's Alison, which I should've known because that bitch would be making tons of noise while others were trying to sleep.
I'm sure most of you are reading this post right now all, "snark-a-what now?" It's okay. Things around here happen pretty quickly and we're often starting new things when we can barely keep up with what we already have going on. (So, like, Firefly this Friday. For real.)
#Snarkathon came about thanks to some Traumateers who wanted to live Tweet The Cabin in the Woods, the 2012 Joss Whedon vehicle staring Thor, Topher, Fred, Lena's new boyfriend in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and a girl IMDB told me played the Yellow Cheetah Ranger. Take this idea, add a Google hangout and voila.
We'll touch a little more on the #snarkathon thing at the end of the post, but first, The Cabin in the Woods (#spoilerssweetie):
#Snarkathon came about thanks to some Traumateers who wanted to live Tweet The Cabin in the Woods, the 2012 Joss Whedon vehicle staring Thor, Topher, Fred, Lena's new boyfriend in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and a girl IMDB told me played the Yellow Cheetah Ranger. Take this idea, add a Google hangout and voila.
We'll touch a little more on the #snarkathon thing at the end of the post, but first, The Cabin in the Woods (#spoilerssweetie):
The actual, official previouslies remind us that the Liars are now in possession of A's cell phone, which happened completely by accident, despite their semi-elaborate plan. We start this episode with the Liars heading back into the Greenhouse of Secrets, all of them all kind of running around like headless chickens. They look for the box New Jason gave Aria while Spencer announces that the cell phone is locked.
Emily wonders where they all were while she almost had her face troweled off. Aria explains that she dropped a bomb at home and was sent to her room. Spencer says Toby cornered her and Hanna blurts out that Kate is moving to Rosewood. That's the piece of news that gets the biggest reaction out of the Liars, because priorities.
Emily wonders where they all were while she almost had her face troweled off. Aria explains that she dropped a bomb at home and was sent to her room. Spencer says Toby cornered her and Hanna blurts out that Kate is moving to Rosewood. That's the piece of news that gets the biggest reaction out of the Liars, because priorities.
We start the episode in not-space. I mean, probably not Earth, either, but not outer space. I'm already really stressed about trying to describe what's happening in this show because I have no idea what details are important.
Lorraine: That is totally the burden of a blogging Snow. I mean, I know you remember recapping Game of Thrones and being all, "some side character I won't even name blinks," and having it turn out to be a BFD character by end of season. Sigh.
Sweeney: And that show had so many! I trust that finite episodes and the fact that we're in space means I won't have it nearly so bad.
Lorraine: That is totally the burden of a blogging Snow. I mean, I know you remember recapping Game of Thrones and being all, "some side character I won't even name blinks," and having it turn out to be a BFD character by end of season. Sigh.
Sweeney: And that show had so many! I trust that finite episodes and the fact that we're in space means I won't have it nearly so bad.