Previously: Cersei set everybody on fire. Like, EVERYBODY. — Dragonstone Democracy Diva: Welcome back to Game of Snark Thrones! I’ve missed you all dearly and am ready to cry in all...
The fact that we are still recapping this is no longer a joke. (K: This is the book that doesn't eeeeeeend, it just goes on and on my friiiiiend.)
I briefly forgot where we even are in the story, but it all came rushing back when Bella describes Victoria's headless corpse, which Edward then dismembers. Bella laments that she can't go over to her boyfriend and, I don't know pet him? comfort him? cheer him on? as he dismembers a body. She does watch all of this closely, though, in case somehow dismembering a corpse hurts him.
I briefly forgot where we even are in the story, but it all came rushing back when Bella describes Victoria's headless corpse, which Edward then dismembers. Bella laments that she can't go over to her boyfriend and, I don't know pet him? comfort him? cheer him on? as he dismembers a body. She does watch all of this closely, though, in case somehow dismembering a corpse hurts him.
Previouslies: we're reminded that Dany walked through fire to impress the Dothraki, Sam and Gilly are on their way to Hornhill and we're also shown a shot of Rob and Cat standing together. In case you have any feels left after last week that still needed destroying. Lastly we're shown Hodor sacrificing himself. Again. THANKS SHOW.
Credits take us through Kings landing, Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Vaes Dothrak and Meereen. So basically everywhere ever.
Credits take us through Kings landing, Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Vaes Dothrak and Meereen. So basically everywhere ever.
We get another extensive previously section and it reminds us that Littlefinger exists. I think they are going to whip out one "remember them??" character per episode.
Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion.
Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn't know what anyone was doing.
The credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.
Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion.
Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn't know what anyone was doing.
The credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.
I'm so scared.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
We open to a bunch of car alarms going off. The cars are all smashed to shit. Castiel walks into the middle of them and raises a hand. The alarms stop, because he's...the car whisperer or some shit? I don't even know any more. (M: A little known and seldom useful angel power.)
Cas walks through the cars, looking like a sad puppy, and stops by the corpse of a blonde woman in a pretty white virginal dress. He pulls a piece of cloth away from her throat to reveal a bloody wound. "Goodbye, sister," he says sadly. Police cars speed towards him, sirens blaring.
Cas walks through the cars, looking like a sad puppy, and stops by the corpse of a blonde woman in a pretty white virginal dress. He pulls a piece of cloth away from her throat to reveal a bloody wound. "Goodbye, sister," he says sadly. Police cars speed towards him, sirens blaring.
We open two days before Halloween with people setting up their front gardens and shit. IDEK, you guys. Australia doesn't do Halloween. It's kind of hard when it's spring and everything's green and leafy, and it doesn't get dark until 8pm...
Marines: You guys are missing the point then, which is mainly: CANDY.
K: Yeah, but like, just go to the supermarket and buy it yourself. Then you don't have to talk to people. Or dress up.
Marines: You guys are missing the point then, which is mainly: CANDY.
K: Yeah, but like, just go to the supermarket and buy it yourself. Then you don't have to talk to people. Or dress up.
CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! That's right, friends. It's the season finale.
Marines: My first one! High fives all around!
K: WOO! Only a million to go!! *cries*
Marines: My first one! High fives all around!
K: WOO! Only a million to go!! *cries*
The TARDIS vworp vworps its way into a spaceship-y looking storage room. It sounds decidedly unwell. The Doctor and Rose walk out the door, and he makes worried sounds while stroking the TARDIS. Rose says if he's worried, they can leave and go somewhere else, and they both fall about laughing.
Marines: Those crazy kids and their lack of self-preservation! But seriously, watching them laugh in those last two gifs is everything.
K: LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
Marines: Those crazy kids and their lack of self-preservation! But seriously, watching them laugh in those last two gifs is everything.
K: LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
First things first: I have an irrational love for this episode. It manages to be feelsy and really freaking dark and hilarious simultaneously, and it's just kind of great.
Right, on with the show. We open with a super close up of Sam's closed eyes. Heat of the Moment by Asia starts playing, and he sits bolt upright in bed at the Motel of the Week. Dean, already dressed, tells Sam that it's "time to rise and shine, Sammy!" This gives me horrible flashbacks to my teen years when my mother would burst into my room at like 9am on a Saturday and holler "Time for getting up now!" (M: My mom's Saturday wake-up was the dreaded, "time to clean!" -_-)
Right, on with the show. We open with a super close up of Sam's closed eyes. Heat of the Moment by Asia starts playing, and he sits bolt upright in bed at the Motel of the Week. Dean, already dressed, tells Sam that it's "time to rise and shine, Sammy!" This gives me horrible flashbacks to my teen years when my mother would burst into my room at like 9am on a Saturday and holler "Time for getting up now!" (M: My mom's Saturday wake-up was the dreaded, "time to clean!" -_-)
The episode begins with the camera centered on Penguin's Umbrella. Does that mean that the cameraman gets the star? You know, I'll give it out again if somebody says it for real, but since the cinematographer is my favorite member of the crew, (s)he and the cameraman can share an honorary star. Here you go!
Marines: I feel like if there is anywhere where we can play fast and loose with the star rules it's with this show.
Marines: I feel like if there is anywhere where we can play fast and loose with the star rules it's with this show.
San Francisco. A pretty young brunette (Madison) is getting drinks with her friends when her boss approaches and says he needs her back at the office because they have a ton of work to do. She calls bullshit. He sheepishly admits it, then begs for a lift. She calmly says she's already called a cab. He walks away, and Madison and her friends laugh. But she stops when she spots a surly looking dude in a leather jacket staring at her creepily from across the bar. She looks worried. Cut to her walking to her car alone. GIRL, NO. When she gets in her car and drives off, Leather Jacket Stalker follows. Cut to Madison's office the following morning. She's making coffee when she spots blood on her boss' office door. She finds him dead on the desk, chest ripped to shreds.
A police station in Baltimore. A detective grabs a fax off the machine, reads it, and tells the person he's talking to that he'll call them back. Cut to a SWAT team at the Motel of the Week. Cut back to Detective Cheap Suit [DCS] talking to a suspect in an interrogation room. He thought the suspect had just upped his game on the petty stuff, then they got a fax from St. Louis about Mystery Suspect killing someone. "So now we know Karen Giles wasn't the first person you murdered," he says. He pronouces Giles as Guylz, and I want to punch him in the face.
Across town, LINDA FREAKING BLAIR (better known as Regan from The Exorcist) and the SWAT team break down a motel room door. "Going somewhere, Sam?" she says.
Across town, LINDA FREAKING BLAIR (better known as Regan from The Exorcist) and the SWAT team break down a motel room door. "Going somewhere, Sam?" she says.
Okay, so I first saw this episode like two months after reading Devil in the White City. I barricaded myself in my bedroom after it aired. Is that a spoiler? Whatever. Also, I feel like I need to tell you guys that I'm not intentionally picking Dean gifs over Sam gifs. The internet apparently just loves Dean more... Anyway, let's get to the episode, shall we?
Philadelphia. A young blonde complains over the phone about the flickering lights in her apartment and orders the super to come deal with it. She notices black goo pouring from a light switch, and goes over to investigate. She peers at the light switch and a bloodshot eye appears inside the wall. She screams, which is legit.
FLAME ON!
Philadelphia. A young blonde complains over the phone about the flickering lights in her apartment and orders the super to come deal with it. She notices black goo pouring from a light switch, and goes over to investigate. She peers at the light switch and a bloodshot eye appears inside the wall. She screams, which is legit.
FLAME ON!
Shrine O'Spielberg Horror Movie Marathon. Dawson and Joey are watching I Know What You Did Last Summer (except I totally thought that it was Scream until Kirsti corrected me, because all these movies are the same) and it's the scene with Sarah Michelle Gellar, so I'm counting this as Buffy crossover magic.
Kirsti: Totally counts. Except that Buffy would never run away screaming.
Kirsti: Totally counts. Except that Buffy would never run away screaming.