First thing's first: Sweeney and I knew we wanted to do this quite a while ago. All the usual things stopped us from getting to it right, right away: time, naps, time, trying to pay our bills with real people money, adulthood and time. When we met up in Paris in August, we discussed this project (amongst many others) and quickly decided that the best way to make it a reality was to invite another person to blog with us.
We've announced this before, but please officially welcome our newest Snark Lady, Stephanie!
Stephanie: Hello, friends!
Lor: Stephanie and I have seen the show before (though I think I quit before the end, as I do, and have definitely never rewatched). Sweeney is our resident Snow.
A very rough looking Wes stands in Fred's old office, watching Illyria generally be weird in Evil Radio Shack below. When Angel turns up, Wes says that Illyria is either "counting oxygen molecules or analysing the petri dish she just put into her mouth." Angel tells Wes that Illyria isn't his responsibility, she's THEIR responsibility and they should be testing and/or studying her. Wes says that Illyria's not much with the people, and that someone might get hurt. "We'll make Spike do it," Angel says quickly.
Wes vaguely agrees before saying that Illyria needs a guide in our world. Angel's all "Right, but you need sleep. And also to stop punishing yourself. Because you look like a crazy person right now and also my Super Smelling Abilities can smell your excess drinking and lack of showering all over the building and it's gross."
Wes vaguely agrees before saying that Illyria needs a guide in our world. Angel's all "Right, but you need sleep. And also to stop punishing yourself. Because you look like a crazy person right now and also my Super Smelling Abilities can smell your excess drinking and lack of showering all over the building and it's gross."
A title card tells us we're going back to Sunnydale California, nineteen days earlier, and I already know it's going to be a sick joke in which we travel back solely to see how Spike got trapped in a glitter tornado. Sure enough, we find ourselves back in the Hellmouth, Spike all aglow in his magical, world saving, orange light.
Kirsti: Out of context, that scene just looks insane.
Sweeney: I didn't think about that, but you're right. I know we have a few Angel-before-Buffy watchers and I am deeply curious to hear how this came across to you without watching Buffy.
Kirsti: Out of context, that scene just looks insane.
Sweeney: I didn't think about that, but you're right. I know we have a few Angel-before-Buffy watchers and I am deeply curious to hear how this came across to you without watching Buffy.
Holy shit balls, you guys. We made it. Episode 144. It's been a long time coming - I mean, we started this whole crazy trip at the start of July 2012 - and I think the three of us have been anticipating this moment for months now. And now that it's here, I don't quite know how to deal with it. Sure, we haven't always loved the show, and sometimes recapping it twice a week has been indescribably painful. But I'm not sure how to adjust to life without Buffy recaps. Seriously - I wrote S07 E22 up there in the title and immediately teared up.
Sweeney: There's going to be a lot of that. It's been a long road and it's surreal to be here. MANY FEELS.
Lorraine: Just chiming in to say, "YEP." Perhaps I wasn't as ready to say goodbye as I thought I would be. For that reason, I should also warn you that things get very capslock-y and SQUEE-y in the recap below. I'm not even sorry that I'm not sorry. No apologies; feels abound.
Sweeney: There's going to be a lot of that. It's been a long road and it's surreal to be here. MANY FEELS.
Lorraine: Just chiming in to say, "YEP." Perhaps I wasn't as ready to say goodbye as I thought I would be. For that reason, I should also warn you that things get very capslock-y and SQUEE-y in the recap below. I'm not even sorry that I'm not sorry. No apologies; feels abound.
This episode title is a liar because there's one more episode! It's JUST BEFORE the end. Silly title. This episode begins immediately where we left off. Faith tells everyone to get down and the bomb blows. Buffy eyes her prize as Priest-ion comes downstairs, gloating about how she can't pry it from solid rock and she easily lifts it up. It's a nice callback to the time it was assumed that the troll hammer couldn't be wielded and Buffy lifted it all NBD. Wolf howl.
Kirsti: Buffy's insta-pull and Priest-ion's face made me giggle.
Kirsti: Buffy's insta-pull and Priest-ion's face made me giggle.
Bach is playing and we're clearly in a fancy room which suggests flashback, at first, until I spot a comic book and then a Star Wars poster. This, instead, is Andrew's episode. He's sitting in a leather chair, telling the viewer that he's catching up on an old favorite, closing a fancy old book. "It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it?" Sometimes, Andrew. Sometimes. He tries to smoke from a pipe, but coughs before awkwardly inviting to join him on the story of "Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyres."
Lorraine: I would've never thought to combine Andrew and Masterpiece Theater, but here it is in all its glory.
Sweeney: A rare stroke of S7 genius.
Lorraine: I would've never thought to combine Andrew and Masterpiece Theater, but here it is in all its glory.
Sweeney: A rare stroke of S7 genius.
We start with Lorne sitting in a club singing "The Way We Were." He starts monologuing to the audience about how everyone wants to get their youth back but they all forget how fucked up it is. He starts to tell a story, and says that it starts with a kid. That sends us into a seizure cut sequence of Connor angrily walking down the street while flashbacking to kissing Cordy. Hey Lor? Was there any brain bleach left from last time?
Lorraine: I've got an industrial order in. We'll make sure to always have a bottle or 5 at the Table of Ugh.
K: EXCELLENT. Anyway, Lorne changes his mind and says that the story really starts with Cordy's question to Angel at the end of the last episode - "Were we in love?" We cut over to them. Angel dithers a response, and Cordy gets about as pissed as I imagine Lor and Sweeney were during this moment.
Lorraine: I've got an industrial order in. We'll make sure to always have a bottle or 5 at the Table of Ugh.
K: EXCELLENT. Anyway, Lorne changes his mind and says that the story really starts with Cordy's question to Angel at the end of the last episode - "Were we in love?" We cut over to them. Angel dithers a response, and Cordy gets about as pissed as I imagine Lor and Sweeney were during this moment.
I'm gonna go ahead and start by saying that I refuse to give out gold stars, because we would literally be here all day, because I just checked the transcript and the word "him" appears like 50 times in this episode. (S: A sound policy.)
After the previouslies, we're at Xander's Gift Apartment. He walks in the front door, informing Spike that he's now going to be living in the Cupboard Under the Stairs. (Fine, it's the walk-in closet, which Xander is now claiming is a room. But HOW COULD I NOT?) He informs Buffy that he hates this plan (you're not alone, Xand), and she reminds him that Spike - who's hovering in the doorway - needs an invitation to enter. Xander reluctantly gives one while I'm busy being distracted by Buffy's sudden and horrific fringe.
After the previouslies, we're at Xander's Gift Apartment. He walks in the front door, informing Spike that he's now going to be living in the Cupboard Under the Stairs. (Fine, it's the walk-in closet, which Xander is now claiming is a room. But HOW COULD I NOT?) He informs Buffy that he hates this plan (you're not alone, Xand), and she reminds him that Spike - who's hovering in the doorway - needs an invitation to enter. Xander reluctantly gives one while I'm busy being distracted by Buffy's sudden and horrific fringe.
First: I flailed a little over this episode being named after one of my favorite poems. Fun! (Weeeeee apocalyptic poetry!) When the show begins, a man is trying to jump start his family vehicle in a shady area that he shouldn't have been in to begin with. Connor appears to be his horrifyingly I'm-going-to-wear-your-skin self, and the dad clearly wants Connor to get gone because they already called for help. Said help arrives and is, of course, a vampire towing company. IDK. Sure. Connor reappears and stakes them.
Kirsti: Our old friend Contrivance has set a new world record with this scene.
Lorraine: I love how you first recognize the evil because the vampires drive like asshats.
Kirsti: Our old friend Contrivance has set a new world record with this scene.
Lorraine: I love how you first recognize the evil because the vampires drive like asshats.
Today's fun time in Sunnydale begins in a funeral home where two guys are closing up, after preparing an older woman for her service the next day.
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it:
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it: