Phoebe runs into Qua ke and some bro comes over to ask if she's a terrorist because she's the bomb. As much as I'm sure I could end the recap there, another random bro taps into this bad pick-up line ring, asking if it hurt when Phoebe fell from heaven. She whispers in his ear that she's a witch, not an angel, because she's on a one woman mission to basically announce that to everyone, ever.
Phoebe joins her sisters, who are staring at a couple making out at the bar. Phoebe and Piper moan about being single. A cheery waitress delivers a drink to Prue and points out the man in the restaurant who sent it to her.
After a lot of previouslies we open with Seth and Ryan playing video games. Ryan has mastered the art and is beating Seth. The student has become the master so to say. Just then, the Cohen parents walk in, wanting to talk to Ryan. The suspense is killing all of us, I know, right?! Like, what could this possibly be about? Seth is being his weird self, mentioning something about the rug which I have no idea whether it will be necessary information or is just a stupid throwaway comment. Moving on.
The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen's only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan's legal rights.
The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen's only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan's legal rights.
Seeing as how the last episode ended with some implied rape, I'm kind of scared. I'm going to be flinching the whole time. We start moments after Sarah's car wreck. She comes to and sees Daniel next to her, passed out and bleeding. Cal opens the driver's side door and apologizes for the crash. He didn't know what else to do. Sarah grabs the Project Leda picture and Daniel's gun as Cal says they have to call the cops. LOL. Sorry, I never get tired of laughing at people suggesting someone call the cops.
Sweeney: THEY NEVER DO. The only people who call the cops are the rare characters who actually call the cops without having silly lines of dialogue in which they ponder at whether or not law enforcement should be involved in their very dangerous situation.
Sweeney: THEY NEVER DO. The only people who call the cops are the rare characters who actually call the cops without having silly lines of dialogue in which they ponder at whether or not law enforcement should be involved in their very dangerous situation.
The stare down from the end of last episode continues. I wanted to think that Lorne was in the background this whole time playing with his Magic 8 Ball, but a wider shot reveals he's holding a crossbow. Damn.
Cordevilia asks Angel what finally tipped him off to the evil. He says it was a slip of the tongue as earlier, Cordelia called her demon spawn, "my sweet" which was apparently a phrase she used while she was talking to Angelus via head-intercom. Cordelia's all, "SERIOUSLY?" because considering that she was wearing a giant I'M FUCKING EVIL outfit, and generally acting shady as shit, saying a few simple words seems like a lousy way to go down.
Cordevilia asks Angel what finally tipped him off to the evil. He says it was a slip of the tongue as earlier, Cordelia called her demon spawn, "my sweet" which was apparently a phrase she used while she was talking to Angelus via head-intercom. Cordelia's all, "SERIOUSLY?" because considering that she was wearing a giant I'M FUCKING EVIL outfit, and generally acting shady as shit, saying a few simple words seems like a lousy way to go down.
I was pretty devastated when I discovered that I had to cover this episode, because - as you guys should know by now - I have eyeball phobia. The unfortunate thing is that I only have myself to blame for this - way back in the day, I was all "YAAAAAAY SPIKE!!!!" and insisted on the Sweeney, Lor, Kirsti recapping order because it meant that I could cover School Hard. Oh, Past Kirsti. You stupid, stupid girl.
Sweeney: To be fair, that was actually just the logical order based on when I joined the recaps -- it's more that you were excited about the way it worked out than that you actually moved for it to be that way. You know, for whatever consolation that affords you.
Sweeney: To be fair, that was actually just the logical order based on when I joined the recaps -- it's more that you were excited about the way it worked out than that you actually moved for it to be that way. You know, for whatever consolation that affords you.
I have no qualms about saying that this episode freaks me the fuck out, and I didn't even grow up in a country where trying to summon a ghost in the bathroom mirror at a sleepover is even a thing. (S: Lucky.) We open in Toledo, Ohio where a trio of 12 year old girls are playing Truth or Dare by candlelight. One of the girls, Lily asks for a dare and is told by her friend to say Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror. Here, random friend, have a gold star!
Anyway, the second friend asks who Bloody Mary is, and there's some confusion over the background but the gist is that if you say her name three times in the mirror, she appears and scratches your eyes out. "So...why would anyone say it?!" asks the second friend, who's clearly the only sensible one here.
Anyway, the second friend asks who Bloody Mary is, and there's some confusion over the background but the gist is that if you say her name three times in the mirror, she appears and scratches your eyes out. "So...why would anyone say it?!" asks the second friend, who's clearly the only sensible one here.
You could think of this post as late, or you could think of it is as a nice little reminder of all the fun we had at the beginning of the month. Two weeks in internet time is like years so now it's time to get all nostalgic and reflect on our most recent #snarkathon adventure.
This month we watched I Know Who Killed Me and there's not a whole lot to say about this movie. It's basically The Parent Trap with strippers, artificial limbs, and torture porn.
Our girl Lindsay Lohan is not only characters in the story, but also narrating the story as some sort of class project - you know, for those days where your teachers have you read out shitty horror stories.
This month we watched I Know Who Killed Me and there's not a whole lot to say about this movie. It's basically The Parent Trap with strippers, artificial limbs, and torture porn.
Our girl Lindsay Lohan is not only characters in the story, but also narrating the story as some sort of class project - you know, for those days where your teachers have you read out shitty horror stories.
We open at Sunnydale Airport, where it looks weirdly like an early episode of Friends. Passengers are deplaning, and the camera pans across to show Buffy, Dawn and Xander waiting. Dawn looks pissed, Buffy looks a little anxious, and Xander is carrying a placard that says "WELCOME HOME WILLOW" in yellow crayon. Aww. (L: Super aww.) Dawn teases Xander over how many times he's told the yellow crayon story, and then announces that she's nervous about seeing Willow. Buffy agrees, and wonders what you say to someone who flayed a dude alive and then tried to end the world. Xander says that he's going to start with "Hi, Willow," and go from there. (S: Additional, "Aww.") He also says that Giles wouldn't have let her leave unless she was fully recovered. Buffy worriedly says that Giles told her Willow wasn't really ready to come back but that it was important that she did.
IT'S NEW SERIES TIME! New series and a new recapper. We've wanted to add Veronica Mars to our repertoire for a while, but we also needed a Snow (and like 19 more hours in the week, but we settled for having half of our demands met). Much like our Buffy recaps we have three different experiences. I haven't marathoned any other show half as many times as I've seen this one. (Which is to say that I've seen it all-the-way-through 5 or 6 times. I really don't repeat-marathon most shows.) Lor has only seen it once, though we share the belief that the first season of this show is one of the best seasons of TV ever. (We'll see how blogging changes things.) Meanwhile, a dear friend of the blog (and also my lifeself), The Democracy Diva will be joining us as the resident Snow. Diva Snow, if you please.
We open with Groo walking into the Hyperion carrying a tray of glasses filled with...IDK, muddy water? He looks across the lobby to see Cordy standing in the office and I REALLY can't get over how ugly her hair is. He heads into the office, and Cordy's all "WTF is that drink?" He says that it's a soothing brew to help her chill out. She says that it looks like muddy water, and he's all "CORRECT!" Lor, does this make me a Snark Prophet?
Lorraine: Half of one, because I'm pretty sure you've seen this episode before. I love you.
K: I barely remembered the plot, let alone the tiny details!
Lorraine: Half of one, because I'm pretty sure you've seen this episode before. I love you.
K: I barely remembered the plot, let alone the tiny details!
We begin with another round of previouslies that essentially summarize the entire show. A series of clips that give the viewers the Cliff Notes version of all the show's major characters (except Giles -- the previouslies don't tell you much about his story. Poor Giles.) These previouslies end with Buffy's death and tombstone, with the VO: "You have to be strong Dawn -- for me."
K: BRB, dealing with All the Nostalgia Feels.
Sweeney: After that we cut to the cemetery where Spike, Tara, and Giles are chasing a vamp who gets away. I totally forgot about this scene!
K: BRB, dealing with All the Nostalgia Feels.
Sweeney: After that we cut to the cemetery where Spike, Tara, and Giles are chasing a vamp who gets away. I totally forgot about this scene!
Cordelia starts us off by using a window as a mirror to apply some lip gloss. Angel startles her when he walks in, and she gives herself a little bit of a Joker mouth. As she cleans herself up, she jokes about being too young and carefree for a heart attack. Angel turns the joke around on her as he sorts through some files, and remarks that she should be less young and carefree with those, as she's placed a Mrs. Benson's file under F. Cordy remembers that she did so because Mrs. Benson is from France, a fact that she relates with her being a pain in the ass. Also, Cordelia is wearing a large bandanna as a top.
Previously: Buffy tried to get one up on the Mayor, but Willow ended up kidnapped, freaking spider things were released and the Mayor said that B and Angel weren’t going...
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