Corny is delivering pizza and we see him dance about and be entirely way too happy about a pizza he isn't going to eat. As he walks toward a house, someone walks up behind him and tasers him. He blacks out.
Neptune High. Veronica gets out of her car and Dick parks next to her. When he opens his door, he hits her car and cares not a jot about doing so. Two jocks, one of them being Lucas Grabeel, come over to make fun of that whole Dick kissed someone with a penis thing and generally make comments so unsettling, Veronica can't even enjoy Dick getting a taste of his own medicine. She leaves.
Democracy Diva: Lucas Grabeel is a homophobe? NOOO! What about Milk, Lucas?!
In Free Study Period That Mostly Exists in Fictional Universes For Plot Purposes, Veronica is picking up some stuff for an FBLA booth. Mrs. Hauser asks some kid to go get some stuff and he declares Veronica his nemesis. While he does as he's asked, Veronica snarks to Madison Trip to the Dentist Sinclair about their eternal nemesis status. Mrs. Hauser complains about poor teacher life while also hating the poor kids, which is super cool.
Corny and Weevil are also randomly there to provide some the essential us/them divisiveness. Rich 09ers are preparing for the school carnival which will raise money for the senior trip they control.
Corny and Weevil are also randomly there to provide some the essential us/them divisiveness. Rich 09ers are preparing for the school carnival which will raise money for the senior trip they control.
Veronica stares broodily at her shitty school holiday-themed dessert. Duncan sits down excitedly, but Veronica's got no time for happy and cuts right to the "Your comatose girlfriend is pregnant" chase. Duncan confesses that he found this out from reading Meg's letter, and Veronica's upset that Duncan didn't tell her. Dick arrives to break the tension by inviting them to a big holiday party, which Duncan can't attend. Dick also nonchalantly exposits that Meg woke up. (L: God bless Ryan Hansen for trying to make this exposition work.) Once Dick leaves, Veronica gets into PI mode, pulling out her VISITOR pass from the last episode, assuring Duncan that she can get them in to see the no-longer-comatose Meg.
Democracy Diva: And her superhero vampire slayer fetus that can survive explosions and bus crashes and comas.
Democracy Diva: And her superhero vampire slayer fetus that can survive explosions and bus crashes and comas.
A hazy spirit!Meg asks, "do you love me? Did you ever love me?" Spirit!Meg says that before the crash, her life didn't flash before her eyes. She thought back to her last perfect moment with (presumably) Duncan. We hear Veronica say, "please." Veronica says Duncan can save her if he wants to. Veronica walks up behind Meg's chair wearing some Bad Girl Styling that includes leather pants and fishnet, for real.
Bad!Veronica says she's heard enough. Spirit!Meg asks what Veronica has that she doesn't. Bad!Veronica ties a sleeping mask around her mouth and says that for starters, she's conscious. Bad!V walks toward the camera and asks Duncan if that's really what he wants. "Teddy bears and MASH notes? Grow up. Grow up and get over it." Bad!Veronica slaps Duncan in the dream and this startles him awake.
Bad!Veronica says she's heard enough. Spirit!Meg asks what Veronica has that she doesn't. Bad!Veronica ties a sleeping mask around her mouth and says that for starters, she's conscious. Bad!V walks toward the camera and asks Duncan if that's really what he wants. "Teddy bears and MASH notes? Grow up. Grow up and get over it." Bad!Veronica slaps Duncan in the dream and this startles him awake.
Veronica Voice-Over starts things off, explaining how a week ago, Veronica thought things would turn out differently. She imagined Keith winning the sheriff election in a landslide, and she and Wallace would sneak champagne and prank-call Deputy Lamb. Instead, the election is unbelievably close, and Wallace is off with his dad somewhere. Meanwhile, Veronica is tense at Mars for Sheriff Election Results Party Extravaganza, while Cliff the lawyer gets drunk.
Sweeney: I usually adore Cliff's sass, but his, "GIMME A DRINK, GIRL," sass wasn't some of his finer work. Fortunately this is just his teaser material and he has the rest of the episode to redeem himself.
Sweeney: I usually adore Cliff's sass, but his, "GIMME A DRINK, GIRL," sass wasn't some of his finer work. Fortunately this is just his teaser material and he has the rest of the episode to redeem himself.
Shrine O'Spielberg. Dawson and Joey are having a disaster movie marathon because there's a hurricane a-blowin'. Gail and her not-so-secret lover Bob are covering the storm on TV, and are overtly flirting with each other during the broadcast because they're bad at secrets. Dawson's parents still don't know that he knows about the affair, and he's too tired to deal with feelings, so he asks Joey, "You mind if I sack?" Is this an actual thing that humans say? (K: Maybe it was in the 90s??) Anyway, Joey basically tells him to deal with his shit instead of hiding out in the storm. Instead, he broods and watches his mother and her mastress (man-mistress? Guys, it's so sexist that there isn't a word for this!) on the news.
Hello, Snark Nation! It's a pleasure to be covering this episode of The O.C., one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasure shows. I had pictures of Seth Cohen on my wall and the show's soundtracks playing on a constant loop throughout my high school career, so I feel qualified to present you with this recap.
Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I'm glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.
Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I'm glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.
Before we start, I should mention that this week's episode involves racism and general race-related ickiness. If that makes you uncomfortable and you want to bug out while you can, I totally understand and we'll see you back here for some irresponsible parenting and psychic weirdness next week. YAY?
Cape Girardeau, Missouri. (A place I know only because Emily used to live there) A middle aged black guy is driving down Route 6 when his radio starts to get all static-y and weird. He shuts it off as headlights flare out the back window. A big-ass truck accelerates towards him. He speeds up to get away from it, but the truck accelerates again and smashes into the back of his car. Suddenly, the radio switches back on and he notices that the truck has vanished.
Cape Girardeau, Missouri. (A place I know only because Emily used to live there) A middle aged black guy is driving down Route 6 when his radio starts to get all static-y and weird. He shuts it off as headlights flare out the back window. A big-ass truck accelerates towards him. He speeds up to get away from it, but the truck accelerates again and smashes into the back of his car. Suddenly, the radio switches back on and he notices that the truck has vanished.
We open in a dirty-looking room with some of that murder lighting Helena seems to carry around with her. She's passed out and a man whose face we cannot see is cleaning up her wound. Helena stirs just in time to name this man Tomas. The camera is doing all kind of unfocused zooming in and out just so we're clear that we're in the crazy part of town.
Sweeney: The part of town where they drug our friend the Zoomy Cameraman. Not even he knows what he's trying to tell us now.
Lor: Sarah's at Beth's house, video chatting with Alison, who is nervous about the fact that Helena is still out there. Plus, Alison doesn't see how Sarah quitting Beth's job is beneficial at all.
Sweeney: The part of town where they drug our friend the Zoomy Cameraman. Not even he knows what he's trying to tell us now.
Lor: Sarah's at Beth's house, video chatting with Alison, who is nervous about the fact that Helena is still out there. Plus, Alison doesn't see how Sarah quitting Beth's job is beneficial at all.
A security guard is on his rounds in a darkened...IDK, warehouse? Factory? It looks like the back end of the brewery I used to work at, anyway. He hears a noise and reports in before going to investigate. Smart, but not smart enough, dude. (L: Right, because he is still investigating darkened basements.) He heads down a flight of stairs, accompanied by the Orchestra of Dude, You Gonna Die. He screams a little at the bottom, but only in surprise because he's face to face with the ware-facto-brewery's plumber. He reports in that everything's fine, then sees the plumber get thrown through the air. He rushes up the stairs (there's that "not smart enough" part) only to get attacked himself. Something slices at his face and he screams as we see a shadow attack him.
Lorraine: Everyone say it together: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
Lorraine: Everyone say it together: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
While this blog changes my opinions of everything and also I find it challenging to rank episodes because I love every episode in this season, I flailed a little when I first realized this one was mine and I've gotten pumped about it every time since. Fingers crossed that it's as glorious as I remember.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
It is no secret that we have a lot of thoughts/feels on all things popular culture. There are only so many hours in a day and so we simply cannot recap everything, placing some constraints on what we can dissect here. Having said that, I came across something the other that gave me so many feelings that I needed to sit down and work them out somewhere. I probably should have done it THAT DAY, because such is the relevance and shelf life of these things but, as always...we do what we want.
Variety posted, “Diversity Done Wrong: How SNL Mishandled Casting a Black Woman.” For those of you who are unaware, SNL received a great deal of criticism in the fall when it introduced half a dozen new featured players, nearly all of whom were white men.
Variety posted, “Diversity Done Wrong: How SNL Mishandled Casting a Black Woman.” For those of you who are unaware, SNL received a great deal of criticism in the fall when it introduced half a dozen new featured players, nearly all of whom were white men.
In a nutshell: So there's this guy, right? And he's fighting in the Revolutionary War all heroic and brave like, right up until some creep with a metal mask comes over to stab him. In his dying moments, this guy (Ichabod Crane) goes down swinging and manages to chop off the head of the creep with the mask. He dies, and if that weren't sucky enough, Ichabod Crane is rudely awakened from his grave 250 years later, and soon falls right into an epic mission: the Headless Horseman is back as well, and in the year 2013, it seems that everyone likes their horsemen with heads and generally not going around killing people and being apocalyptic. Ichabod teams up with Lt. Abbie Mills to figure out WTF is going on.
What Lorraine Thinks: This show is batshit crazy.
What Lorraine Thinks: This show is batshit crazy.
Wesley is looking over a photograph of the Hyperion Hotel. He tag-teams with Angel to provide us with the relevant back-story. Essentially, it's big, impressive and has been abandoned for a long time. Cordelia comes in and serves Wesley tea, has a cup of coffee for herself and hands Angel a cup of blood Angel inspects it for a bit before telling Cordelia that it appears to be coagulating. She replies that it's just a little cinnamon and she was experimenting. As one does.
Kirsti: He should consider himself lucky - she could have added crumbled up Weetbix to it like Spike does!
Kirsti: He should consider himself lucky - she could have added crumbled up Weetbix to it like Spike does!
THIS IS IT, YOU GUYS. Finale time. The final lying liar credits take us to King's Landing, Dragonstone, FUCKTHETWINS, Winterfellstillonfireallfuckingseason, The Wall, and past the Gulf of Grief to Yunkai.
We begin the episode with my current least favorite person, Roose Bolton, looking down on the epic torching and slaughter of the remaining Stark bannermen. The Hound is riding off with Arya, who tragically comes to just in time to see her brother being paraded through the streets, headless, with his direwolf's head staked to his body, as everyone chants, "The king of the north!" The look on her face is just too much.
We begin the episode with my current least favorite person, Roose Bolton, looking down on the epic torching and slaughter of the remaining Stark bannermen. The Hound is riding off with Arya, who tragically comes to just in time to see her brother being paraded through the streets, headless, with his direwolf's head staked to his body, as everyone chants, "The king of the north!" The look on her face is just too much.