The chapter begins with some stuff that's meant to be sweet, but when you realize that it's mommy porn, it's more awkward. Ana is excited that her "daddy" is awake and he calls her "Annie" and whatnot. He doesn't seem to remember the accident and asks for some water, specifically, but I think he really wants a drink. I do too, because rather than staying there with her father, we cut immediately to Ana running out to the waiting room to tell Christian Grey that he's awake. Because obviously. "What do I do now? IDK, better go tell that infected scrotum I call my husband."
The infected scrotum is all, "Great. He's awake."
Lorraine: The Liars all come down the stairs at the Hastings Manor, led by Aria. They complain about the early hour, but Aria says she has to show them something important. Aria pulls up the picture of Alison being followed by a shadow on the night she was killed. Spencer insists the shadow following Alison is totally Ian, but since last week it was Toby, I say we don't take her word for it.
Aria prints out the picture as Hanna asks if Aria's been up all night. Aria non-answers, but Hanna can tell she hasn't slept because one eye is bigger than the other. "You look like a strung out Power Puff girl." I love Hanna and am only sad that I didn't think of this association first.
Aria prints out the picture as Hanna asks if Aria's been up all night. Aria non-answers, but Hanna can tell she hasn't slept because one eye is bigger than the other. "You look like a strung out Power Puff girl." I love Hanna and am only sad that I didn't think of this association first.
Grey is waking Ana up with soft kisses but napping is better than any kiss, so Ana turns around and tries to keep sleeping. I approve.
Grey tells Ana she has to wake up because they have to be at his parent's house for dinner in half an hour. Ana is nervous about meeting Grey's parents, especially because he's just "worked [her] over with a riding crop and tied [her] up using a cable [she] sold him, for heaven's sake." As if the fact that she sold him the cable has any bearing on this.
Oh, he tied you up? That's cool. WAIT YOU SOLD HIM THE CABLE?
Previously: Ana and Grey send each other a ton of emails all about how Ana doesn’t like to be spanked and how Grey will track her down wherever she goes....
Previously: Ana graduates college but that doesn’t really matter. The big news is that Ana has finally agreed to be Grey’s submissive. Put that on your resume, girl. — Lorraine:...
This book is the biggest slight of hand in the history of the world. Forget making an airplane disappear on my TV, or whatever. E.L. James just shat on paper and sold a millionties of books, right before your very eyes.
I'm sorry. I try not to open with so much meanness. I like to disguise my distaste with capslocks and diatribes on the evils of toothbrush sharing. It's just that we open this chapter with Ana forgetting about how uneasy the Sexy Times Contract made her, uh, YESTERDAY and is now worried that Grey won't have her at all. Pout.
I'm sorry. I try not to open with so much meanness. I like to disguise my distaste with capslocks and diatribes on the evils of toothbrush sharing. It's just that we open this chapter with Ana forgetting about how uneasy the Sexy Times Contract made her, uh, YESTERDAY and is now worried that Grey won't have her at all. Pout.