Veronica is at the doctor's office and he's telling her she has chlamydia. Veronica is in shock and says she has been sexually active but she finds it impossible that the guy, Duncan, could've infected her. The doctor levels her with a, "you think you know someone," and tells her they can treat it with antibiotics. Veronica Voice Over takes us from there to Neptune High, saying that her grandma used to always say that when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. She wishes Grandma Reynolds were alive so she can ask what to do when life hands you chlamydia.
Sweeney: I like the idea that the mother of Lianne Reynolds would have been the sort of grandma that you could go to with your STD struggles. Makes sense.
It's kind of weird because episode 13 is generally the Halloween episode but no one has mentioned Halloween. Instead, the Liars are crashing the Ravenswood-party-that-requires-a-costume-and-is-also-in-a-graveyard. The girls are all, "WTF. Who throws a party in a graveyard?" and the answer is apparently, "Ravenswood" and not, "well, who goes to an Adam Lambert murder Halloween train party, GIRLS?" or "who actually attends a party in a graveyard."
BUT ANY EXCUSE FOR GORGEOUS GIRLS IN COSTUME!
Sweeney: Gorgeous girls in gorgeous, elaborate period costumes. TV teenagers have the best closets.
BUT ANY EXCUSE FOR GORGEOUS GIRLS IN COSTUME!
Sweeney: Gorgeous girls in gorgeous, elaborate period costumes. TV teenagers have the best closets.
A TV screen (on my TV screen) is showing a news broadcast about solar flares. We pan away from it as we hear what my closed captioning describes as the "throbbing hum" of the TARDIS materializing. The Doctor and Rose disembark and he quickly gives her the lowdown: it's 200,000 and they've landed on a space station. He points out a gate in the corner and tells Rose to start there.
Before she can start whatever in the over there (I'm being as vague as the teaser so far, not trying to write best selling erotica, FYI), Rose knocks on the TARDIS door and tells Adam to come on out.
Before she can start whatever in the over there (I'm being as vague as the teaser so far, not trying to write best selling erotica, FYI), Rose knocks on the TARDIS door and tells Adam to come on out.
The general consensus around #gothamsnark this week seemed to be, "ugh, I have to watch Gotham now." Let me just add, "UGH. I HAVE TO RECAP GOTHAM NOW." More importantly, though, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING STILL.
Here's to you:
Sweeney: Someone on Twitter (a) was confused by my watching this show and then (b) admired our dedication. A toast to all of us who see things through to the end even as it defies our own self-interest so blatantly.
Alex: Thirded. I am so touched (and only slightly confused) by everyone's commitment to watching along with us. You guys are the best!
Here's to you:
Sweeney: Someone on Twitter (a) was confused by my watching this show and then (b) admired our dedication. A toast to all of us who see things through to the end even as it defies our own self-interest so blatantly.
Alex: Thirded. I am so touched (and only slightly confused) by everyone's commitment to watching along with us. You guys are the best!
We begin, again, on Murder Night. At 12 Grimmauld Place, we rehash the Michaela is beyond terrified/Connor is verbally abusive and manic/Laurel is trying to stay calm and be helpful/Wes is snuggling Rebecca dynamic. Wes says he needs to get Rebecca out of here while the rest of them go to the woods, since she of all people can’t be found there.
Then there’s an angry knock on the door and everyone panics. It’s Asher, and he is PISSED. Not because of murder!reasons, but because Michaela stole his trophy. They all pretend not to be home, except Connor, who starts cackling like a sociopath. It’s not funny, except when Asher yells, “Are you bitches seriously trying to ignore me right now?” That was weirdly hilarious.
Then there’s an angry knock on the door and everyone panics. It’s Asher, and he is PISSED. Not because of murder!reasons, but because Michaela stole his trophy. They all pretend not to be home, except Connor, who starts cackling like a sociopath. It’s not funny, except when Asher yells, “Are you bitches seriously trying to ignore me right now?” That was weirdly hilarious.
We open with more shots of Improbable Law School Bonfire. The Chosen Ones are once again fretting about the body disposal issue. This time we learn that the pretty engaged girl who wants Viola Davis's coat/life is angry because, "It's all her fault!" We don't know who "her" refers to yet, but we do know that homegirl just won herself the title star. I'm sure it'll be good for bartering in prison.
Lorraine: Don't spend it all in one day!
Democracy Diva: Or, if you do, spend it a carton of cigarettes, and then you'll have things to trade forever! #protips
Lorraine: Don't spend it all in one day!
Democracy Diva: Or, if you do, spend it a carton of cigarettes, and then you'll have things to trade forever! #protips
Announcement: Despite my recent Twitter crusade to support her and get her some respectable trashy drama work, I've been spelling Shannen Doherty's name wrong this whole time. (Shannon vs. Shannen). I apologize to Ms. Doherty. Also, in prepartion for my public apology, I checked out her Twitter. She's currently working to save the dolphins, so probably she's plenty busy and doesn't need my Twitter support. Never gonna stop, though.
"Pop's Gym." Two men are boxing. Another man, with a very professional mullet, walks in and observes. Aggressive Boxing Man [ABM] knocks the crap out of Ow, My Face Hurts Man. Next, cut to Aggressive Boxing Man packing his bags. Professional Mullet finds him and says he's a fan of his bloody boxing work.
"Pop's Gym." Two men are boxing. Another man, with a very professional mullet, walks in and observes. Aggressive Boxing Man [ABM] knocks the crap out of Ow, My Face Hurts Man. Next, cut to Aggressive Boxing Man packing his bags. Professional Mullet finds him and says he's a fan of his bloody boxing work.
I’m going to have to start this thing out by admitting that I have never seen a single episode of The OC. I have no idea what it’s about. I know that there was a particularly large-eyed, sad looking girl on the show, and she later did makeup commercials, but beyond that, I’m not sure what the hell it’s about. Orange county, I assume. But I didn’t bother watching other episodes or catching up in any way.
Sweeney: While we're at it, I should inform the readers that having all of the "never seen another episode" recappers at the end of the season like this was PURE ACCIDENT. Also a lot of fun. A very fun accident.
Lorraine: We did have one or two "never seen another episode" folk specifically request a later episode though. Like they were thinking, "what is the most confused I can be? Sign me up for that." All of the fun.
Sweeney: While we're at it, I should inform the readers that having all of the "never seen another episode" recappers at the end of the season like this was PURE ACCIDENT. Also a lot of fun. A very fun accident.
Lorraine: We did have one or two "never seen another episode" folk specifically request a later episode though. Like they were thinking, "what is the most confused I can be? Sign me up for that." All of the fun.
We begin with a Veronica Voice-Over about the magic of senior year. Tis the season of college applications, so Veronica needs to pad her resume with a non-crime-solving-related activity. I'm not sure why - the crime-solving thing would probably look way more attractive to an admissions officer than the stupid FBLA. But that doesn't get us anywhere, plot-wise, so welcome to the Future Business Leaders of America, Veronica Mars!
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
I'm going to try to prevent myself from flailing all over this post. Let me just get this out of my system. THE O.C!! I'M SNARKING AN EPISODE OF THE O.C.!! SETH COHEN!! Ahem.
Lorraine: I like your method of getting it all out on the front end. Already off to a good start.
Ashlea: The episode opens at the I'm-Not-Really-A-Bachelor-Yet Pad of Jimmy Cooper, with Marissa skipping down the stairs to open the door for the smarmy douchebag, Oliver. He pulls the pity-me card and asks to come in. Of course Marissa lets him, because she's SO troubled and tortured and her soul resonates with his or some such crap. Really it's because she's not the brightest bulb in the lamp. Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the I-Hate-Marissa-Cooper Club. (L: Not there yet? Keep watching this episode.)
Lorraine: I like your method of getting it all out on the front end. Already off to a good start.
Ashlea: The episode opens at the I'm-Not-Really-A-Bachelor-Yet Pad of Jimmy Cooper, with Marissa skipping down the stairs to open the door for the smarmy douchebag, Oliver. He pulls the pity-me card and asks to come in. Of course Marissa lets him, because she's SO troubled and tortured and her soul resonates with his or some such crap. Really it's because she's not the brightest bulb in the lamp. Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the I-Hate-Marissa-Cooper Club. (L: Not there yet? Keep watching this episode.)
Shrine O'Spielberg. Joey is climbing in the window, as per their usual movie-watching routine, but Dawson didn't expect her to show up after their awkward post-beauty-pageant encounter. He didn't even rent any movies! For shame. Now that she knows Dawson's being weird about this, she decides to also be weird, saying that she came by to say she ... can't come by. Then she word-vomits about how the television metaphor for their relationship is getting old, and every night they just do the same old things in Dawson's "Spielberg-ized bedroom." Dawson broods in response, and turns on the television. Joey rants about cliffhangers and how manipulative they are; Dawson thinks they keep people guessing, but Joey says they're just proof that nothing ever really changes.
Shrine O'Spielberg Horror Movie Marathon. Dawson and Joey are watching I Know What You Did Last Summer (except I totally thought that it was Scream until Kirsti corrected me, because all these movies are the same) and it's the scene with Sarah Michelle Gellar, so I'm counting this as Buffy crossover magic.
Kirsti: Totally counts. Except that Buffy would never run away screaming.
Kirsti: Totally counts. Except that Buffy would never run away screaming.
Shrine O'Spielberg. Dawson and Joey are watching yet another movie together, but he gets frustrated with it and shuts it off just before the end. He finds it unbelievable that a girl would decide which guy she wants to be with based on a drag race. Joey wisely points out that someone whose favorite movie is E.T. should not have such a problem with unrealistic films, but like everything else on this show, this is really about SEX.
Kirsti: Also, whose favourite movie is E.T.?! I was terrified of it when I was six, and I'm still terrified of it. Don't let that thing in your house, Elliott.
Kirsti: Also, whose favourite movie is E.T.?! I was terrified of it when I was six, and I'm still terrified of it. Don't let that thing in your house, Elliott.
Neptune High Parking Lot. Veronica's car has stopped and lots of people are honking at her and generally being shit waffles because they SEE Veronica is having issues, so why honk? Logan and his Brogans are casually passing by, in "making jokes about poor people" distance. Logan is carving up an apple and Veronica grabs his knife all while brushing off their subpar insults.
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
The episode begins with Dawson and Joey watching an old movie starring Deborah Kerr about people making out on the beach uber-passionately. Did this show make it clear that Dawson loves movies? Because you guys, DAWSON LOVES MOVIES. And obsessing over what his first kiss with Jen should be like.
Kirsti: OMG, REALLY? Shit. I had no idea. They should have made that more obvious.
Diva: Joey mostly thinks he should shut up and, in the immortal words of Sebastian the Crab, kiss de girl, but Dawson thinks this perfect, life-altering moment needs to be storyboarded, because he's a bit of a nut job.
Kirsti: OMG, REALLY? Shit. I had no idea. They should have made that more obvious.
Diva: Joey mostly thinks he should shut up and, in the immortal words of Sebastian the Crab, kiss de girl, but Dawson thinks this perfect, life-altering moment needs to be storyboarded, because he's a bit of a nut job.