Previously: Wynonna killed the last of the Seven. — Bury Me with My Guns On Marines: The episode starts with Wynonna dancing in slo-mo, whipping her hair around and all that....
Previously: Mon-El was a lying liar who lies. — Distant Sun Marines: The damn previouslies inform me that since I didn’t watch The Flash cross-over event, I missed Kara and Mon-El getting back...
Previously: Pirates! — The Doctor’s Wife K: It’s been a hot minute (or like six months) since I’ve recapped anything, friends. Let’s see if I remember how, shall we? Marines: It’s...
South Wales. A father sits outside with his son, trying to get him to read. The boy says he can't do it, but dad encourages him to keep trying. Mom comes outside and hands Dad his lunch, telling him he's going to be late for his shift. Dad says goodbye to his son with a kiss on the head and then we watch him bike to work, which is some sort of plant.
We start just after Steph has finished plucking Tessa's eyebrows, so you know her sex appeal just went up by like 10 points. Steph does Tessa's make-up and she's all nervous about it. I'm almost certain that we've already had 3-4 scenes exactly like this?
Samantha: So. Many. Times. Has. This. Happened. Does this book take place in a time loop?
Samantha: So. Many. Times. Has. This. Happened. Does this book take place in a time loop?
Hardin's eyes are on fire ("blazing") as he pulls Tessa onto the bed and on top of him. Tessa is straddling him, which she's done before, but now she's straddling him with very little clothing on. She stays up on her knees so they aren't touching but "Hardin isn't having it," and he pulls her all the way down. Because clearly what Hardin's having is the only thing on the menu.
Hey, so it's been a while! I don't really know why. I do know that I always see people squeeing about this show on Twitter, and I'm not sure if it's because it's gotten better in season two or if we are seriously not watching the same show.
Catherine: SAME. I have friends who watch this and tell me it's amazing. I'm so bored. What are we missing?
Samantha: Maybe it's one of those shows that just really really falls apart upon recapping but works if you just mindlessly enjoy it?
Catherine: SAME. I have friends who watch this and tell me it's amazing. I'm so bored. What are we missing?
Samantha: Maybe it's one of those shows that just really really falls apart upon recapping but works if you just mindlessly enjoy it?
Okay well here I go. To recap Tessa and Hardin alone in a room at night again. With sex implications in the terribly written text. Alright. Here we go. Oh, wait, man, have I asked how you all are recently? Anything new?
Marines: Just rip the bandaid off, girl. This garbage fire has 90-something chapters.
Samantha: .......fine. According to my Kindle app we're only 26% done.
Marines: Just rip the bandaid off, girl. This garbage fire has 90-something chapters.
Samantha: .......fine. According to my Kindle app we're only 26% done.
So, Bella wakes up from another of her dumb psychic nightmares that are never explained and she's immediately pissed at herself for having such a disturbing dream the night before her wedding. Um, okay.
Annie: If I was marrying Edward, I'd be having nightmares, too.
Catherine: Fair.
Annie: If I was marrying Edward, I'd be having nightmares, too.
Catherine: Fair.
So, for reasons that are beyond you, me, and every thinking person, Tessa is going to another party. This time, she's almost forced to wear some tight jeans because after one week at school, she has to do so much laundry, she doesn't have many other options. Sure, Tessa. I'm sure. Also, she pairs her tight jeans with a button up shirt, but it's black and sleeveless and has some lace on the shoulder and we all know lace is code for sin. We get confirmation of this when Stephanie says she actually likes Tessa's outfit today. She offers Tessa some eyeliner again, but Tessa passes, remembering how it got all smeared by her tears the last time.
I was pretty excited about this episode, because Aaron Tveit and Mary Elizabeth Winstead have been tweeting for weeks about filming a scene with “inappropriate salami.” MEW called it the weirdest scene of her career, and that’s saying a lot for someone who’s been in The Ring Two, Final Destination 3, and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
Marines: AND PASSIONS. THE WEIRDEST SOAP OPERA EVER.
Dani: We begin with the obligatory “Previously on BrainDead” song, and I know I won’t shut up about them, but they really are the best thing ever.
Marines: AND PASSIONS. THE WEIRDEST SOAP OPERA EVER.
Dani: We begin with the obligatory “Previously on BrainDead” song, and I know I won’t shut up about them, but they really are the best thing ever.
We open this episode in the Phantom Zone, 13 years ago. Child Kara is sleeping in her pod when it starts to shake and jerk around. Child Kara makes some interesting acting choices and it passes through a space arch metal thing. I think it's supposed to be ominous. Also, Kara was asleep for the entirety of her stay in the pod right? Since it was years?
Catherine: I guess not? She was supposed to be in stasis. I guess it's like that thing where you wake up but realize you still have a couple more hours to sleep and roll over in your spaceship.
Catherine: I guess not? She was supposed to be in stasis. I guess it's like that thing where you wake up but realize you still have a couple more hours to sleep and roll over in your spaceship.
Bella is driving home, paying little attention to the drive, but instead, thinking all about her visit with Jacob, when she spots Edward's Volvo (M: Sparkle) in her rearview mirror. Edward is following way too closely behind her. That sounds super safe. Bella seems worried about how much trouble she's going to be in, which is not a thing that should be happening, as Bella is an adult and Edward is her boyfriend. Not her parent.
Bella drives straight to Angela's house, calling herself a chicken. Yeah, Bella. You're scared to be alone with your boyfriend. You're such a big chicken!
Bella drives straight to Angela's house, calling herself a chicken. Yeah, Bella. You're scared to be alone with your boyfriend. You're such a big chicken!
Hello! Welcome back. As ever, we are so happy to have you here and so not looking forward to the thing we voluntarily put ourselves through. The Internet is a strange place, my friends.
We start with the dedication:
Snort laugh when you see it.
Kirsti: I'm sure her kids are THRILLED to be included in the same dedication as... that.
Catherine: More evidence that Meyer doesn't know what words mean.
We start with the dedication:
Snort laugh when you see it.
Kirsti: I'm sure her kids are THRILLED to be included in the same dedication as... that.
Catherine: More evidence that Meyer doesn't know what words mean.
This episode, a random favorite of mine, opens at a run down vacant motel in Indiana. A sheriff looking fella walks inside and starts looking around. We see that the name of the hotel is the Elysium Fields and the Greek Mythology nerd inside of me has a field (har har) day. We also see a flower pot bloom into life. The flowers look vaguely lotus-y if you put your imagination to it. There's lots of noises and camera angles to indicate that this motel is not quite as abandoned as it appears. Sure enough, the sheriff guy turns around to find an immaculate looking bellhop standing there. He tries to tell the bellhop that he isn't allowed to be here, but Bellhop just rambles about how he has to get everything ready because they are all coming. He then tells the sherif cop guy that he's dinner and murders the fuck out of him.