Okay so we're wayyyyyy behind on these recaps and it's 1000 percent my fault. My bffs are gonna come in here now and insist that they had a hand in stalling. (M: I had a hand in stalling!) (S: Me too!) (C: Don't listen! It was all me because busy and also blah.)
Luckily, there's a previously to remind us what happened. Winn kissed Kara, Kara's parents died, aliens attacked Maxwell Carlisle's adult video store and comic book emporium. (S: Lolol.)
We've fallen off pace a bit here, and it's my fault. Time is so hard, you guys.
Catherine: SO hard. It went forward like, an hour the other day and we can't be blamed for that. So...
Kirsti: I would say that I stole it, but Australia is on daylight saving for another 2 weeks, so it definitely wasn't me.
Mari: Bella finds Alice in her house, waiting "perfectly motionless in the center of the hall." So, in addition to breaking and entering, Alice is just standing there. Still. Unmoving. Waiting.
Catherine: SO hard. It went forward like, an hour the other day and we can't be blamed for that. So...
Kirsti: I would say that I stole it, but Australia is on daylight saving for another 2 weeks, so it definitely wasn't me.
Mari: Bella finds Alice in her house, waiting "perfectly motionless in the center of the hall." So, in addition to breaking and entering, Alice is just standing there. Still. Unmoving. Waiting.
Just as Bella thinks she's about to drown, her head breaks the surface. BOOOOOOOOOOO. The waves slam her up against some rocks, which doesn't, like, hurt her or cut her in any way. No, no, friends. The rocks basically perform CPR on her, ensuring that all the water in her lungs gets spewed back out. What the shit, Meyer.
An anxious voice orders her to breathe, and Bella gets super sad when she realises that it's Jacob and not Edward.
Marines: Jacob is telling her to breathe but because it's Jacob and not Edward, "I could not obey."
An anxious voice orders her to breathe, and Bella gets super sad when she realises that it's Jacob and not Edward.
Marines: Jacob is telling her to breathe but because it's Jacob and not Edward, "I could not obey."
Gosh, I just can't seem to remember if anything important or significant happens in this chapter.
Annie: Does anything important or significant ever happen in SMeyer's books until she remembers that they should have a plot in Chapter 22? My prediction is no.
Catherine: I guess we'll have to read on and see.
Annie: Does anything important or significant ever happen in SMeyer's books until she remembers that they should have a plot in Chapter 22? My prediction is no.
Catherine: I guess we'll have to read on and see.
Previously: The bad guys defeated themselves and the apocalypse didn’t happen. — Be Careful What You Witch For Stephanie: It’s only taken about a year, but it’s finally time for the...
And we're back! I added a little exclamation point to feign some excitement about reading this again. I am happy you are here, though. Welcome! (Note: Genuine exclamation point that time.)
Say hello, ladies:
Kirsti: HELLO FRIENDS. Fun fact: when I first typed that, I wrote "HELL FRIENDS", and that accurately depicts what reading and recapping this book is like: you're in hell, but at least you have friends to complain to about how godawful it is.
Catherine: Hi! I'm glad to see you all again although I wish it was under better circumstances. We really must meet at a happier occasion sometime. Like a funeral or a Mary Kay party.
Say hello, ladies:
Kirsti: HELLO FRIENDS. Fun fact: when I first typed that, I wrote "HELL FRIENDS", and that accurately depicts what reading and recapping this book is like: you're in hell, but at least you have friends to complain to about how godawful it is.
Catherine: Hi! I'm glad to see you all again although I wish it was under better circumstances. We really must meet at a happier occasion sometime. Like a funeral or a Mary Kay party.
Hello, Snark Squadders near and far! My name is Chelsea and I am unicorn-and-wizard staves over the moon to be writing for the venerable establishment that is Snark Squad! The ladies have let me come to you today to recap season three, episode twenty-four. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves… My love for The O.C. started when I found out that Adam Brody was the epitome of my adolescent sexual fantasies, and ended when Marissa tried to kind of sort of be a lesbian? Either way, it’s been a while!
Okay so the episode starts with Kara flying over the city. Alex beeps in to ask if everything is okay since usually flying = cheesy battles. But no, this time Kara is just flying to clear her head. But, of course, duty calls and Kara hears some trouble a brewing.
Marines: I don't want to start every episode with Supergirl flying and making some statement that then gets immediately negated. I DON'T WANNA.
Samantha: We cut to the spin off Fast and Furious show that Vin Diesel has been talking about and I get excited! Two guys are yelling at each other and banging their cars together. It's Fast and Furious: Road Rage, y'all. Of course they're doing this in a school zone and almost super murder a bunch of little kids crossing the street.
Marines: I don't want to start every episode with Supergirl flying and making some statement that then gets immediately negated. I DON'T WANNA.
Samantha: We cut to the spin off Fast and Furious show that Vin Diesel has been talking about and I get excited! Two guys are yelling at each other and banging their cars together. It's Fast and Furious: Road Rage, y'all. Of course they're doing this in a school zone and almost super murder a bunch of little kids crossing the street.
If you want to know why this show is MEH to watch and painful to recap, let's take today's opening scene: Supergirl is flying around and all we see is her SHADOW. Her voice over says that she's always felt like a SHADOW of a person. Are the writers even trying?
Samantha: Maybe this is the first ever attempt at letting a computer write a show and all it has to go on is bad metaphors and cliches?
Catherine: Shut up, you guys. IT'S DEEP.
Samantha: Maybe this is the first ever attempt at letting a computer write a show and all it has to go on is bad metaphors and cliches?
Catherine: Shut up, you guys. IT'S DEEP.
So we open with this thing that's just like The Flash where Kara kind of tells the viewer who she is and what her deal is. Except that it's not as charming/hokey as when Grant Gustin does it and I don't know why. I really want to like this, I swear I'm trying.
Catherine: You shouldn't have to, though, really.
Samantha: Anyway, someone must have heard me last post because the episode opens where it left off: with the interview between Cat and Supergirl.
Catherine: You shouldn't have to, though, really.
Samantha: Anyway, someone must have heard me last post because the episode opens where it left off: with the interview between Cat and Supergirl.
I haven't even pressed play to start rewatching this episode and I'm already rolling my eyes. So that's how I feel about this, friends.
We start with an inspiring voice over as we get an extended sequence of Supergirl flying around. It's been a week since she's revealed herself and things are going pretty well. CUE A MISSILE COMING AT HER har har har.
We start with an inspiring voice over as we get an extended sequence of Supergirl flying around. It's been a week since she's revealed herself and things are going pretty well. CUE A MISSILE COMING AT HER har har har.
LOOK AT ME! I'm recapping an episode of Supernatural!
...which probably explains why this is all late because I'm messing up Kirsti's timeliness completely. Sorry I'm the worst!
Kirsti: Who cares about timeliness when it means I GET AN EPISODE OFF WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Mari: Oh, okay. I feel better!
Carry on my wayward son! I've been around these parts long enough to know that this song means we've reached finale time. There is a round of extended, season-long previouslies that ends with Sam walking out on Dean.
...which probably explains why this is all late because I'm messing up Kirsti's timeliness completely. Sorry I'm the worst!
Kirsti: Who cares about timeliness when it means I GET AN EPISODE OFF WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Mari: Oh, okay. I feel better!
Carry on my wayward son! I've been around these parts long enough to know that this song means we've reached finale time. There is a round of extended, season-long previouslies that ends with Sam walking out on Dean.
We open with a woman beating the shit out of some steaks with a meat tenderiser the size of Mjolnir. Her husband gets home from work and she's all judgey about how late he is. He snaps at her, then apologises. As he gets a beer from the fridge, she tells him that she ran into a friend and they've been invited to a 40th birthday party at the weekend.
The Doctor and Martha furiously work the controls of the TARDIS, then the Doctor compliments himself on a perfect landing. Martha excitedly wants to know where they are, and the Doctor replies "The end of the line..." She clearly doesn't hear him, and rushes out the door excitedly. Her face falls when she realises that she's standing in her living room. The Doctor informs her that it's the morning after they left on their trip, and she's only been gone about 12 hours in real time.
Marines: So, basically he gets the landing and timing exactly right when he's trying to dump someone? Cool.
Marines: So, basically he gets the landing and timing exactly right when he's trying to dump someone? Cool.
In a small paragraph that's obviously just left over from last chapter, Grey informs us that he goes to bed sometime after 1 a.m. He's excited to continue work on his new project – Anastasia Steele: Virgin.
Alex: Fucksake. He actually calls her "a new project". We're literally three sentences into the chapter and I'm already getting a rage migraine.
Marines: If you want to black out early, try thinking about whether incessant talk of training her is worse than "new project."
J: Nothing is worse. We've just reached a plateau where everything is terrible.
Alex: Fucksake. He actually calls her "a new project". We're literally three sentences into the chapter and I'm already getting a rage migraine.
Marines: If you want to black out early, try thinking about whether incessant talk of training her is worse than "new project."
J: Nothing is worse. We've just reached a plateau where everything is terrible.