The episode begins with Cole and Phoebe kissing in bed, so I already don't like it. Phoebe says that she feels like Cole pulls away whenever they get close, and he responds by literally pulling away and turning from her. (M: Wow. Phoebe is good at picking up on these things.) Phoebe presses a bit more for some truth and Cole transforms into his demon form and attacks her while going "RAWRRR." Just kidding! It’s a nightmare.
After a recap of the last episode, we jump straight to the credits.
DOO WEE OOH.
The Doctor is trying to sonic his way into the car where Wilf is being poisoned. Sylvia Noble comes out of nowhere with a sledgehammer and busts the windshield open like a boss and because DUH!
Kirsti: But seriously, why did no one think of that earlier?!
Mari: At UNIT, general chaos. Colonel Mace goes into a command room where a helpful woman lets him know that ATMOS has gone wild all over the world.
DOO WEE OOH.
The Doctor is trying to sonic his way into the car where Wilf is being poisoned. Sylvia Noble comes out of nowhere with a sledgehammer and busts the windshield open like a boss and because DUH!
Kirsti: But seriously, why did no one think of that earlier?!
Mari: At UNIT, general chaos. Colonel Mace goes into a command room where a helpful woman lets him know that ATMOS has gone wild all over the world.
The finale kicks us off right where we left off, feeling solidly sick to our stomachs as Aaron Echolls leaves the courthouse a free man with adoring fans. Veronica Voice Over sums it up for us: "So this is how it is: the innocent suffer, the guilty go free, and truth and fiction are pretty much interchangeable. There is neither a Santa Clause, nor an Easter Bunny, and there are no angels watching over us. Things just happen for no reason and nothing makes any sense."
After Aaron finishes smarming it up for the cameras, we cut to Mars Investigations where Keith takes the newspaper away from a very upset Veronica, telling her that however unjust things are, they cannot allow themselves to wallow in it.
After Aaron finishes smarming it up for the cameras, we cut to Mars Investigations where Keith takes the newspaper away from a very upset Veronica, telling her that however unjust things are, they cannot allow themselves to wallow in it.
This episode doesn't begin with the improbable bonfire which by itself bums me out for the loss of the familiar. Even worse, it starts with people poking at Lila's mottled corpse. So. Cool. We jump back 6 months earlier to June 2014 when Lila was still alive. She's hanging out with Rebecca and speculating about whether her vagina's going to be all, "Nope, access denied!" because she waited too long to have sex. It's kind of adorable because while that's total bullshit, this conversation is also so completely plausible. Rebecca wonders if the sex talk means that Griffin's given up on that virginity pact and Lila confesses that she met someone whose identity she can't reveal because, "He has a wife." It pleases me to no end when the stars are earned by the people the episode is truly about.
I have been putting this off for an unreasonable amount of time, mostly because I've been busy but partially because of my struggle to get into this show. I was feeling kind of guilty about it, too, because I want so badly to love this thing that everybody else loves. Then I remembered that (a) the 1x01 comments are filled with amazing stories of many a devout Whovian's struggle to come into the light -and- (b) There are a half dozen, "LOL you gave Sweeney that episode to start with?" comments on the last post. So, you know, these are all things. What I'm saying is THANKS, GUYS.
(In truth, there's no winning for you - either you don't warn me and I'm all, "WHAT ARE WE WATCHING? WHY WHY WHY?' or you do warn me and I'm all, "THANK YOU FOR PLANTING SEEDS OF DREAD.")
(In truth, there's no winning for you - either you don't warn me and I'm all, "WHAT ARE WE WATCHING? WHY WHY WHY?' or you do warn me and I'm all, "THANK YOU FOR PLANTING SEEDS OF DREAD.")
Wolfram & Hart. Late at night. The soundtrack from my 5th grade haunted house follows Fred around as she says goodnight to people and closes up Evil Radio Shack for the night. She turns around and then sees Spike and fake screams, dropping her papers. He appreciates her efforts to humor his evil-but-not ego. His I'm-not-evil-but-I-still-want-to-be-a-badass ego? IDK. Anyway, Fred says he needn't worry about any of that because he's a super special ghost. She's pretty sure she can help him, too, but obviously she can't help him without flaring up the Angel/Spike rivalry.
Pause: I get that for those of you have spent years with this show and written all the fic and whatnot, the tension in their relationship is a big huge deal.
Pause: I get that for those of you have spent years with this show and written all the fic and whatnot, the tension in their relationship is a big huge deal.
Xander is cleaning up the broken glass, lamenting that he's trapped in a "loop" in which he replaces the Chez Summers windows for all of eternity. (K: This is hilarious because he spends most of the rest of season 7 repairing those fucking windows.) This joke acknowledging the recurring destruction of the Summers home is obviously fantastic, but the word "loop" makes me twitch because I'm trying to learn actual code so that I can fix all the things that keep breaking on this website, but failing because it all looks unsettlingly like math. I feel you, Xander. I sometimes wonder if Snark Squad database errors are going to be ruining my life forever, too.
Lorraine: I really hope it isn't rage ninjas breaking our website.
Lorraine: I really hope it isn't rage ninjas breaking our website.
We open to a trio of nerds (not THAT Trio, thank goodness), rating their female classmates based on hotness. Apparently, Veronica's detective skills up her from an 8.5 to a 9, according to Dweeb #1. How empowering! Troy and Veronica do a walk-and-talk, which hilariously features V assuming T's weekend plans revolve around autoeroticism. He's actually just got a boner for boats, like apparently all wealthy southern California boys on television in the early aughts.
They exchange something like eight hundred thousand flirty glances as Troy departs.
They exchange something like eight hundred thousand flirty glances as Troy departs.
This is my second episode this season and it is again an episode a few of you have claimed to love. We know how well that worked out for me and Beneath You. Here's hoping I can love this one. The previouslies are Anya heavy, which is a good sign.
Sweeney: No pressure or anything, Anya, but our happiness for the week rests on you.
Lor: We open at Chez Summers, where Dawn is helping Willow arrange some things while giving her advice that consists of, "do what everyone else does," "nod and smile," and generally, "fake it 'till you make it." "Do what everyone else does," seems like a good way to get dead in Sunnydale, even if we are just talking about Willow going back to college.
Sweeney: No pressure or anything, Anya, but our happiness for the week rests on you.
Lor: We open at Chez Summers, where Dawn is helping Willow arrange some things while giving her advice that consists of, "do what everyone else does," "nod and smile," and generally, "fake it 'till you make it." "Do what everyone else does," seems like a good way to get dead in Sunnydale, even if we are just talking about Willow going back to college.
We open in the bad part of town. You can tell because there's a smashed up car covered in graffiti in the foreground. A dude bursts through a door and runs into the street only to be confronted by Connor. Random dude wants to know what Connor is because nothing human can move that quickly. Connor knows exactly what random dude is though - a vampire. He taunts him as they start fighting. Up on a nearby rooftop, Angel is backseat fighting, being all "No, don't do that!" and "Atta boy."
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
We open with Groo walking into the Hyperion carrying a tray of glasses filled with...IDK, muddy water? He looks across the lobby to see Cordy standing in the office and I REALLY can't get over how ugly her hair is. He heads into the office, and Cordy's all "WTF is that drink?" He says that it's a soothing brew to help her chill out. She says that it looks like muddy water, and he's all "CORRECT!" Lor, does this make me a Snark Prophet?
Lorraine: Half of one, because I'm pretty sure you've seen this episode before. I love you.
K: I barely remembered the plot, let alone the tiny details!
Lorraine: Half of one, because I'm pretty sure you've seen this episode before. I love you.
K: I barely remembered the plot, let alone the tiny details!
I actually just finished watching Seeing Red about 20 minutes ago. After unloading all of my WHY TARA WHY feelings on Twitter (and the last post), I decided to just finish off my emotions and watch this episode too. The point of all this is just to warn you that I wrote this while my emotions were freshly Whedon-ed. Also, WHY TARA WHY? An ambulance arrives at 1630 Revello.
Kirsti: I stop to have thousands and thousands of feels because the last time an ambulance was called to Chez Summers, it was in The Body.
Sweeney: And this episode makes plenty of allusions to that one. Thousands of feels totally called for.
Kirsti: I stop to have thousands and thousands of feels because the last time an ambulance was called to Chez Summers, it was in The Body.
Sweeney: And this episode makes plenty of allusions to that one. Thousands of feels totally called for.
We open in the lobby of the Hyperion, with Angel and Holtz right where we left them. Angel's all "DAFUQ? You're meant to be dead!" then joins the dots on the fact that the mysterious beastie the prophecies were talking about is Holtz. He starts to try and talk Holtz around, but a couple of green scaly demons jump up and hold stabby looking metal things to Angel's throat. Holtz says that what brought him to the 21st century is Angel and his "demon bitch." Angel starts in on his "everything's different because I have a soul" routine, but Holtz flicks some holy water at him, causing him to vamp out for a second, and says that he sees no difference. He orders his minions to search the place because wherever Angel is, Darla can't be far away.
Previously: Joffrey became king of incestuous crazy, NED DIED, the northern bannermen declared Robb king of the north, Arya is hiding out as a dude, and also DAENERYS AND DRAGONS....