Rich people stuff like large lawns and horseback riding: a woman rides up on a horse and calls out to a man named Jack that she'll be done shortly and he should behave himself. Rich Lady (Margaret) blows him a kiss and rides off. Jack is sitting with a group of his buds and they joke about not actually ever playing tennis, and just sitting around day drinking. It's all fun until one of his bros sees Margaret's horse, suspiciously sans Margaret.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
We open with a slightly terrifying close-up of a ginger bloke and Rose voiceover-ing about her dad, the most wonderful man in the world. I feel like I know the ginger bloke from something, but IMDb informs me it's just One Episode of Every British Police Show Ever. (M: A+) That throws us into a flashback of Jackie showing Mini!Rose photos of her father and telling her about the day he died, how it was the same day that friends of hers got married. In the TARDIS, Rose asks the Doctor if they can go and see her father when he was still alive. The Doctor is briefly concerned and tells her "be careful what you wish for" but agrees with a grin nonetheless. He pulls some controls and the TARDIS vworp vworps.
Green River County Jail. A bunch of orange-clad inmates are doing normal prison-y things, like lifting weights and playing cards. Inside, workers reopen an old cell block. When they get the door open, the back wall has dried blood on it. They collectively shudder, and their breath is visible in the air. They turn as if something's just flown between them, then papers in the hall fly everywhere.
In another cell block, Rack is lying on a bed reading. The lights flicker and he crosses to his cell door, staring into the hallway as the flickering continues.
In another cell block, Rack is lying on a bed reading. The lights flicker and he crosses to his cell door, staring into the hallway as the flickering continues.
Shrine O’Spielberg. Dawson shuts off the movie because there’s too much unrequited love for him to handle. Joey thrives off love stories like that; she thinks love stories that don't end are more romantic than anything else. But Dawson calls it tragedy. He stammers that her love for sad love stories might be affecting her own life. Like by making her not have sex with you? Nice try, bro. Joey says it does affect her, but in a positive way. Because in spite of the circumstances that tear the characters apart, they never stop loving, even without a happy ending.
Improbable bonfire. We cut immediately to Asher, so the improbable bonfire was just to (a) - establish that we are in the future and (b) - keep the bonfire episode opener going on forever. Asher is in his Twlight-movie-blue-filtered apartment dancing around, throwing money, drinking, gyrating, and generally being a lot more carefree than his Dumbledore's Army counterparts in this uncertain future. He's mid-thrusting on the couch when he gets a phone call from someone named Alicia. He wants to go to the bonfire because he has the Murder Weapon Trophy and doesn't have to study. Except he just realizes that Murder Weapon Trophy is gone.
The consensus last week seemed to be that the episode was about 2% better than the previous ones, so things might slowly be moving in the right direction. That said, this episode is called ‘Spirit of the Goat’, so don’t hold your breath.
Sweeney: I think the trick is in keeping our expectations nice and low. Terrible show, terrible titles, etc., etc. so that we end up pleased if it even achieves general mediocrity.
Sweeney: I think the trick is in keeping our expectations nice and low. Terrible show, terrible titles, etc., etc. so that we end up pleased if it even achieves general mediocrity.
Previously: The Trickster turned up and laid out a ton of punishment on various douchebags, and it was awesome. Roadkill Kirsti: We open on a generic two-lane highway at night. A...
We pick up exactly where we left off. The Doctor fights off the electricity and gathers it into a ball in one hand. "Deadly to humans, maybe!" he says, and shoves the electricity ball into the Slitheen's chest. It and MP Sugar writhe in pain.
DOOO WEEE OOOOH!
After the credits, we see that the Slitheen in the Cabinet Room and the one in Jackie's flat are both writhing in electricity covered pain too.
DOOO WEEE OOOOH!
After the credits, we see that the Slitheen in the Cabinet Room and the one in Jackie's flat are both writhing in electricity covered pain too.
We open with a news bulletin in Milwaukee about a siege going on at a bank downtown. A reporter informs us there are about ten hostages, then there's a kerfuffle in the background. The zoomy cameraman earns his pay cheque and shows us that Dean's in the doorway of the bank, using a security guard as a human shield. He yells at the cops to get back, then gets "OH SHIT" face when he sees the news cameras.
FLAME ON!
After the credits, it's the previous day and the boys are at a jewellery store pretending to be FBI agents.
FLAME ON!
After the credits, it's the previous day and the boys are at a jewellery store pretending to be FBI agents.
Mama Fields is on the phone, presumably with the LOLPD, trying to get some answers about the car that was thrown at her house. Apparently, there was no sign of the driver, which Pam finds super hard to believe. After the phone call, Pam tells Emily to quit sulking around the motel and go to her college guidance session.
Hasting's House. Emily, Aria and Spencer are together and worrying about the Fields family. Spencer says that A likes to throw cars at people AND THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING. Wait, did Sara know this was going to happen and inject that language into the recaps early? Whatever is happening here, I like it.
Hasting's House. Emily, Aria and Spencer are together and worrying about the Fields family. Spencer says that A likes to throw cars at people AND THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING. Wait, did Sara know this was going to happen and inject that language into the recaps early? Whatever is happening here, I like it.
A bus pulls up in a busy Gotham street, and the Penguin steps off wearing an ugly cableknit jumper. He looks around and smiles at the general crime and police corruption currently going on all around him, happy to be home.
Lorraine: But the question remains: why the heck does anyone else call this city where all the crime happens in broad daylight home?
Alex: A news report tells us that some rich guy, currently on trial for running a Ponzi scheme, is out on bail – much to the disgust to the citizens of Gotham who were the victims of his scheming. My knowledge of what a Ponzi scheme is is possibly the only good thing to come out of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s mercifully short time on Ringer.
Lorraine: But the question remains: why the heck does anyone else call this city where all the crime happens in broad daylight home?
Alex: A news report tells us that some rich guy, currently on trial for running a Ponzi scheme, is out on bail – much to the disgust to the citizens of Gotham who were the victims of his scheming. My knowledge of what a Ponzi scheme is is possibly the only good thing to come out of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s mercifully short time on Ringer.
Corny is delivering pizza and we see him dance about and be entirely way too happy about a pizza he isn't going to eat. As he walks toward a house, someone walks up behind him and tasers him. He blacks out.
Neptune High. Veronica gets out of her car and Dick parks next to her. When he opens his door, he hits her car and cares not a jot about doing so. Two jocks, one of them being Lucas Grabeel, come over to make fun of that whole Dick kissed someone with a penis thing and generally make comments so unsettling, Veronica can't even enjoy Dick getting a taste of his own medicine. She leaves.
Democracy Diva: Lucas Grabeel is a homophobe? NOOO! What about Milk, Lucas?!
Neptune High. Veronica gets out of her car and Dick parks next to her. When he opens his door, he hits her car and cares not a jot about doing so. Two jocks, one of them being Lucas Grabeel, come over to make fun of that whole Dick kissed someone with a penis thing and generally make comments so unsettling, Veronica can't even enjoy Dick getting a taste of his own medicine. She leaves.
Democracy Diva: Lucas Grabeel is a homophobe? NOOO! What about Milk, Lucas?!
Baby Batman is continuing his slightly suicidal exploration of his fears by burning his hand on a candle. Alfred walks in and startles BB, who hides his burnt hand. Alfred demands to see his hand and then freaks out at the sight, calling BB stupid and shaking him into a hug. There is no other way to describe that. I'm not sure I understand what this show is doing with Alfred. (A: Me neither).
Selina Kyle sits with some of her homeless friends playing with a necklace kind of like how a cat would play with yarn. (wink.)
A van comes down the alley and puts Selina on her guard. Two overly peppy people in outfits I cannot explain jump out of the van and claim to be from the mayor's outreach program.
Selina Kyle sits with some of her homeless friends playing with a necklace kind of like how a cat would play with yarn. (wink.)
A van comes down the alley and puts Selina on her guard. Two overly peppy people in outfits I cannot explain jump out of the van and claim to be from the mayor's outreach program.
Psychiatrist's office. A creepy guy in his early 20s tells the psychiatrist that a year or so ago, he started getting migraines. Then he found out he could electrocute things with his brain. He tried it out on the neighbour's cat. The psychiatrist frowns and makes notes that probably say "DO NOT SHAKE HANDS WITH THIS DUDE OMG." Electro-creeper says that he didn't want to kill the neighbour's cat, but the yellow-eyed man comes to him in his dreams and asks him to do things, that he has plans for him. Cut to Electro-creeper walking towards his car at night. When he reaches his car, there's a dark figure reflected in the window. Electro-creeper turns and promptly gets stabbed twice.
FLAME ON!
FLAME ON!
Democracy Diva: Welcome, Traumateers! I am thrilled to be using my status as a barred-but-under-employed attorney to help Sweeney and Lorraine snark the new Shonda Rhimes drama "How to Get Away with Murder."
Lorraine: I'm cracking up already. #livingthedream
Sweeney: You too can spend lots of money/time/sanity on law school so that you can write about it on the internet. For free.
Diva: Like a boss.
Lorraine: I'm cracking up already. #livingthedream
Sweeney: You too can spend lots of money/time/sanity on law school so that you can write about it on the internet. For free.
Diva: Like a boss.