This book is absolutely taking over bookish communities right now. I read it, in good faith, because I heard good reviews even before it was published. I hated it. It is in fact so bad that it can be snarked, chapter by chapter. Hello, welcome.
Previously: We found the real worst school for magic. Content warnings: Violence, nudity, gore, ableism, incest, infertility, and a hysterectomy. — Betrayer Moon Marines: A very dirty boy is on a bed....
Previously: Damon’s got some plans but dot dot dot. Content Warnings: Rape, murder, mind control. — Friday Night Bites Emmy: We start the episode off with Caroline tiptoeing around the room to...
Nancy Drew won 2019’s Fall TV Poll. Dear ole Nan has ties to the very first posts here on Snark Squad. Let’s see what new shenanigans the people at The...
Note: A version of this recap was originally published on May 5, 2011, early in the days of Snark Squad. Nicole and I have always toyed with the idea of...
Previously: It’s like a violent, bloody theme park with robots, we think. — Chestnut Marines: 3D PRINTED ROBOTS. (See? I contained myself.) After the previouslies and the credits, a man’s voice...
Previously: Karen shot Wesley dead. — Jessica: We start with a closeup of the GUN THAT KAREN SHOT WESLEY WITH OH MY GOD. Sorry, still not over the shock of that....
Previously: We cried our way through a sad-romp with Vincent van Gogh. — Marines: The TARDIS lands in a suburb somewhere. The Doctor peeks out long enough to realize they haven’t...
Previously: Euron attacked his niece and many people died. — The Queen’s Justice Catherine: The previouslies remind us that Ellaria killed Myrcella with that crazy lipstick, Yara got taken by Discount...
The previouslies remind us that Tom was shot, MacLeish was President for a bit and made some sketchy decisions, and oh yeah, ATWOOD'S SON IS I GUESS STILL KIDNAPPED? Can I tangent about this for a bit? Why has no one reported this child missing? Why has no one else noticed that this child is missing and put two and two together? What the hell?
Our singing recapper (aka THE BEST THING EVER) (M: I'm gonna miss it so much) tells us what happened last week:
We begin with Luke telling Laurel about the bug briefing he got from Bob Isenstadt, the grandfatherly “Director’s Director” of the CIA. Laurel is rightfully suspicious, but Luke thinks she should be happy because this means she was right all along, and now the professionals will handle the crisis. He tells her she has to back off and let the CIA do their job.
We begin with Luke telling Laurel about the bug briefing he got from Bob Isenstadt, the grandfatherly “Director’s Director” of the CIA. Laurel is rightfully suspicious, but Luke thinks she should be happy because this means she was right all along, and now the professionals will handle the crisis. He tells her she has to back off and let the CIA do their job.
Our singing recapper (the fabulous Jonathan Coulton) gets a small cameo in this week’s “previously on” bit. But then he gets infected by space bugs, and his head explodes, so I guess the exposure won’t exactly boost his career now.
We begin with Rochelle and Laurel staring at the mysterious SRB-54 door that the guy who attacked Rochelle went through after they released him in the last episode. Laurel prepares a fake package and tries to scope out the room when she delivers it. She spots Dr. Samira, the guy who testified that Syria was behind the exploding heads (even though they weren’t), but then the rude guy who opened the door (Jacob Pitts, Justified) slams it in her face.
We begin with Rochelle and Laurel staring at the mysterious SRB-54 door that the guy who attacked Rochelle went through after they released him in the last episode. Laurel prepares a fake package and tries to scope out the room when she delivers it. She spots Dr. Samira, the guy who testified that Syria was behind the exploding heads (even though they weren’t), but then the rude guy who opened the door (Jacob Pitts, Justified) slams it in her face.
Kara is wearing flannel over her Supergirl costume and eating a donut on the couch so that her brooding is super telegraphed. She's watching coverage of a bank robbery she tried to stop, but people are still pretty wary of her after she murdered alcohol bottles with peanuts, or whatever. (S: And wore extra cute clothes!) (C: Boo the lady with the fashion sense.)
At Cat Co, Cat is having a bad day because "Sandy Bullock" stole her exercise machine and also because National City is being slow to forgive Supergirl and the crime rate is up.
At Cat Co, Cat is having a bad day because "Sandy Bullock" stole her exercise machine and also because National City is being slow to forgive Supergirl and the crime rate is up.
The fact that we are still recapping this is no longer a joke. (K: This is the book that doesn't eeeeeeend, it just goes on and on my friiiiiend.)
I briefly forgot where we even are in the story, but it all came rushing back when Bella describes Victoria's headless corpse, which Edward then dismembers. Bella laments that she can't go over to her boyfriend and, I don't know pet him? comfort him? cheer him on? as he dismembers a body. She does watch all of this closely, though, in case somehow dismembering a corpse hurts him.
I briefly forgot where we even are in the story, but it all came rushing back when Bella describes Victoria's headless corpse, which Edward then dismembers. Bella laments that she can't go over to her boyfriend and, I don't know pet him? comfort him? cheer him on? as he dismembers a body. She does watch all of this closely, though, in case somehow dismembering a corpse hurts him.
For this episode’s “Previously on BrainDead” song, Jonathan Coulton pretends he wasn’t just as worried as the rest of us when the space bugs got to Laurel.
Once again, we begin where the last episode ended — with Laurel and Gareth at the bar, trying to make things normal again, and Laurel saying she thinks bugs are eating people’s brains and making them stupid. Because that’s a totally normal thing to say.
Gareth is thrown by this, and Laurel admits she is, too. He asks about the bugs but struggles to take any of it seriously.
Once again, we begin where the last episode ended — with Laurel and Gareth at the bar, trying to make things normal again, and Laurel saying she thinks bugs are eating people’s brains and making them stupid. Because that’s a totally normal thing to say.
Gareth is thrown by this, and Laurel admits she is, too. He asks about the bugs but struggles to take any of it seriously.