Fair warning: I think this is one of the weaker episodes of the series. What can you expect when they keep us at the Wall? THE WHOLE TIME? No amount of Jon Snow's shiny hair can salvage that.
Sweeney: I thought this would be a pretty universal opinion but I saw people on Twitter gushing about it. We've assembled a crowd that shares our love of the character-driven elements of the story so I don't think our opinion will be unpopular here, but it's weird. To that end, if you're the sort of person who digs military history and battle names and that kind of thing, then maybe this episode was your jam. For the rest of us...not so much.
Lor: We start with a sweeping view of Castle Black.
YOU GUYS. WE MADE IT TO THE END OF THIS RIDICULOUS SHOW. I honestly thought this day would never come. In some ways it's been a million times harder for me than Buffy because so many of the episodes were meh-tastic and Whedon kept killing off all the female characters. Still, WE MADE IT. And that warrants a dance party!
Sweeney: ALWAYS DANCE PARTIES. ALWAYS.
Lorraine: This post is going up a little late because of timezone issues. So, Kirsti told me to celebrate the end while she went to sleep. I told her I was at work. She said I should have a dance party in the bathroom.
Sweeney: ALWAYS DANCE PARTIES. ALWAYS.
Lorraine: This post is going up a little late because of timezone issues. So, Kirsti told me to celebrate the end while she went to sleep. I told her I was at work. She said I should have a dance party in the bathroom.
A bunch of dudes in robes are clubbing a shirtless dude with a bag on his head. One wall of the room is made of flames. From the other side of the flames, Angel watches the beating happening. He leaps through the flames and grabs Bag Head Guy. He pulls the bag off, and BHG gushes his thanks. But Angel vamps out and bites down on his neck. Electric Cellos like 30 seconds into the episode. This makes me very uncomfortable.
After the credits, the sun rises over Los Angeles 19 hours earlier. Angel and Werewolf Nina are snuggling.
After the credits, the sun rises over Los Angeles 19 hours earlier. Angel and Werewolf Nina are snuggling.
Jaime is pissed now that the sweet deal he set up with his father, in which Tyrion spent the rest of his days at the Wall, has crumbled. Tyrion doesn't see why he should be grateful about being exiled to a perpetual snowpocalypse for a crime he didn't even commit. (S: PLUS, WHITE WALKERS. Fuck that.) Jaime snaps that this isn't a joke. Tyrion says it is, it just isn't very funny. I think we've all felt like life's walking punchline a time or two. I mean, probably we weren't on trial for murder, but the sentiment is universal.
We start off in the asylum on a stormy night with Mona doing some creepy singing about teddy bears having their picnic today. (Pretty singing, though! Do we have a pretty+creepy word in our creepcabulary? It could often be used to describe Mona.) She's painting a head. (YVONNE LEHEAD?) She draws a big red blob on the lips which are magically perfectly painted a hot second later. Continuity is for people with no imagination. Mona monologues about how she gets to do an art project for Halloween, even though they're not big on Halloween around those parts. She turns around and we see that she's talking to a hooded member of the A-Team (Toby?) as she continues about how much she loves Halloween. (You're making this awkward for me, Mona, because I also love the shit out of Halloween.)
We begin where we left off: Illyria saying, "This will do," in Fred's body. She goes to look at herself in the mirror and Wesley says her name. Illyria gets really pissy with Wesley for using her name. Wes asks if she knows who Fred is and she doesn't know or give a shit. She says they're done and Wes agrees, grabbing an ax.
Electric Cellos, complete with all those Fred scenes. Fuck. Are they going to be replaced with Illyria scenes or will we just die a little inside during the credits for the rest of the season?
Lorraine: You figured we'd be used to dying all kinds of deaths while watching Angel.
Electric Cellos, complete with all those Fred scenes. Fuck. Are they going to be replaced with Illyria scenes or will we just die a little inside during the credits for the rest of the season?
Lorraine: You figured we'd be used to dying all kinds of deaths while watching Angel.
Warning - this episode is rated F for Feels. Please acquire tissues before proceeding with this recap. We open in a FLASHBACK! Fred is at her parents' house, packing up her stuff for her big move to join the graduate physics program at UCLA. Her dad is totally against her moving, saying that she's going to Hell-A and that if she meets one angel there, he'll eat the dogs. Dude. No. (L: She met Angel; LEAVE THE DOGS ALONE.)
He goes out to check the car for the millionth time. Fred realises that she's forgotten Feiginbaum, her stuffed bunny toy, which I mention only because it's relevant later. (S: AH. I DIDN'T CATCH THIS. AH. FEELS.)
He goes out to check the car for the millionth time. Fred realises that she's forgotten Feiginbaum, her stuffed bunny toy, which I mention only because it's relevant later. (S: AH. I DIDN'T CATCH THIS. AH. FEELS.)
Holy crap, you guys. We have FINALLY made it through 100 episodes of Angel. Which feels like it took approximately 500 years longer than covering 100 episodes of Buffy. Let's have a gif party and get started, shall we?
We open with the Fang Gang kicking down a door and walking into a room featuring a big ass crucifix and a bunch of lit prayer candles. The guys stare in horror as Fred talks to the screen of her scientific gadget about how the guy they're looking for has been there but he's gone now and she's picking up lots of blood that's not his. She finally looks up to see the room is filled with dead nuns. The perp, apparently, is one of their clients.
We open with the Fang Gang kicking down a door and walking into a room featuring a big ass crucifix and a bunch of lit prayer candles. The guys stare in horror as Fred talks to the screen of her scientific gadget about how the guy they're looking for has been there but he's gone now and she's picking up lots of blood that's not his. She finally looks up to see the room is filled with dead nuns. The perp, apparently, is one of their clients.
We open with a pretty hilarious "Welcome to Wolfram & Hart" recruitment video. The guy giving the voiceover is infomercial peppy, and it's intercut with shots of Angel looking awkward and stating their new employee policy: "If you don't kill us, we won't kill you." That throws us into an alarm clock going off. (S: WEIRD. My version misses that peppy video, starting at the alarm clock, and now I'm sad.) (K: Womp womp...)
Harmony turns it off and throws us into a montage of her getting ready for the day. This includes her looking at her not-reflection and vamping out to brush her fangs as well as her teeth. I stop to wonder how the hell she does her make up when she can't see her reflection... (S: Mind. Blown.)
Harmony turns it off and throws us into a montage of her getting ready for the day. This includes her looking at her not-reflection and vamping out to brush her fangs as well as her teeth. I stop to wonder how the hell she does her make up when she can't see her reflection... (S: Mind. Blown.)
I both cannot believe it's been a year and feel like I've been waiting for this forever. Welcome back, dear friends and comrades in misery! It's time for Game of Thrones, season four.
We open with an extended previously sequence that is much better than what I was able to come up with at the start of this post, but does boil down to a lot of death and bad luck. I mean, I counted: they showed us 8 outright deaths plus the Unsullied attacking a whole bunch of people. The last thing we see is the bloodied sword used to chop Ned Stark's head off. It is because of these previouslies that I realize that Ned was beheaded by his own sword. It's like retroactive trauma. NO SERIOUSLY. WELCOME BACK!
Sweeney: I don't think I could handle watching this show without you guys. I need this weekly therapy session to process all my emotions.
We open with an extended previously sequence that is much better than what I was able to come up with at the start of this post, but does boil down to a lot of death and bad luck. I mean, I counted: they showed us 8 outright deaths plus the Unsullied attacking a whole bunch of people. The last thing we see is the bloodied sword used to chop Ned Stark's head off. It is because of these previouslies that I realize that Ned was beheaded by his own sword. It's like retroactive trauma. NO SERIOUSLY. WELCOME BACK!
Sweeney: I don't think I could handle watching this show without you guys. I need this weekly therapy session to process all my emotions.
A sorority house at Eastern Iowa University. A mousy looking girl dresses for a date in a denim skirt and long sleeved button up blouse. She asks her roommate what she thinks, and said roommate "Oh, honey, no"s her. (S: True friend material.) She crosses to her dresser and grabs a midriff baring lacy red halter top and insists that Mousy Girl wear that instead. After a little reluctance, Mousy Girl puts it on. Ho Suspension Roommate approves and tells her not to do anything she wouldn't. Mousy Girl says that there's nothing she wouldn't do as she heads out. "That's true," Ho Suspension Roommate grins as she flips through her magazine.
Cut to an SUV pulling up under a wooden bridge in the dark. From the shadows, we see a silver hook glint. Mousy Girl says that she thought they were going to a party, and her date says they can't possibly arrive on time. She eyerolls a little at his obviousness, then leans over and kisses him.
Cut to an SUV pulling up under a wooden bridge in the dark. From the shadows, we see a silver hook glint. Mousy Girl says that she thought they were going to a party, and her date says they can't possibly arrive on time. She eyerolls a little at his obviousness, then leans over and kisses him.
St. Louis, MO. We open this episode with a girl tied to a chair and covered in blood. A man is in the room with her, holding a knife. Cops enter the house and follow the blood stains to find the girl still alive. As they untie her, the girl motions to the room behind them and the cops find the guy standing at the door, with the bloody knife still in his hand. They instruct him to turn around, and when he does, it's Dean.
Kirsti: The entire thing is done to the strains of Iron Butterfly's In-a-Gadda-da-Vida, which would probably be a lot spookier if it didn't immediately conjure up memories of Bart Simpson selling his soul to Milhouse for $5...
Kirsti: The entire thing is done to the strains of Iron Butterfly's In-a-Gadda-da-Vida, which would probably be a lot spookier if it didn't immediately conjure up memories of Bart Simpson selling his soul to Milhouse for $5...
I have no qualms about saying that this episode freaks me the fuck out, and I didn't even grow up in a country where trying to summon a ghost in the bathroom mirror at a sleepover is even a thing. (S: Lucky.) We open in Toledo, Ohio where a trio of 12 year old girls are playing Truth or Dare by candlelight. One of the girls, Lily asks for a dare and is told by her friend to say Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror. Here, random friend, have a gold star!
Anyway, the second friend asks who Bloody Mary is, and there's some confusion over the background but the gist is that if you say her name three times in the mirror, she appears and scratches your eyes out. "So...why would anyone say it?!" asks the second friend, who's clearly the only sensible one here.
Anyway, the second friend asks who Bloody Mary is, and there's some confusion over the background but the gist is that if you say her name three times in the mirror, she appears and scratches your eyes out. "So...why would anyone say it?!" asks the second friend, who's clearly the only sensible one here.
We open at an airport where some guy is looking super anxious. He heads to the bathroom and is splashing water on his face, and a random other guy says not to worry because your odds of dying in a plane crash are 20,000 to 1. YEAH, NOT WHAT I WANNA HEAR, MAN. Let me just go ahead and tell you that flying is my absolute biggest fear and the majority of my nightmares center around plane crashes, so I'm pretty sure this episode is going to ruin me.
Kirsti: I'm not afraid of flying on account of I've been doing it on the regular since I was like nine months old (also because I live in Australia and it's really fucking time consuming to get ANYWHERE if you don't fly), but bathroom guy is a total asshat for listing that hugely unhelpful statistic.
Kirsti: I'm not afraid of flying on account of I've been doing it on the regular since I was like nine months old (also because I live in Australia and it's really fucking time consuming to get ANYWHERE if you don't fly), but bathroom guy is a total asshat for listing that hugely unhelpful statistic.
We open at a cabin in Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin. Inside, a skinny blonde girl in a warm up suit greets her father and brother, the latter of whom informs her that she shouldn't work out so much because guys don't like buff girls. How about GO FUCK YOURSELF, I WORK OUT FOR ME. She informs him that girls don't like guys who still live at home before she heads out the door. (S: BURN.) Her dad tells her to be careful.
Cut to her standing in a bathing suit next to the lake. We get a weirdly far away shot taken through some bushes as she dives in. We follow her underwater for a second, then she surfaces. She looks to the shoreline as if she's heard something, then swims for a few moments and does a tumble turn. Which I really don't see the point of because there's no wall to push off.
Cut to her standing in a bathing suit next to the lake. We get a weirdly far away shot taken through some bushes as she dives in. We follow her underwater for a second, then she surfaces. She looks to the shoreline as if she's heard something, then swims for a few moments and does a tumble turn. Which I really don't see the point of because there's no wall to push off.