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Tag: sorry I have to shave my hands

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E03 – Cheating won’t get you a 1430

  • Posted byby K
  • December 4, 2014
  • 16 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson's plans for a get-to-know-you movie night with Eve have gone awry because a) she prefers TV and b) she's taken over said TV and is making him watch Felicity. I laugh for approximately a hundred years over his "HOW CAN YOU PREFER TV?!?!?!" reaction. She says TV is the same thing but "shorter and with built in bathroom breaks" and she's not at all wrong. Dawson scoffs some more, particularly when she says it's like getting a new sequel every week, because "Sequels I hate on principle". Ugh. Go fuck yourself, Dawson Leery. I'll just be over here with Captain America: The Winter Soldier, shitting all over your arguments.
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E16 – Best of Both Worlds

We begin exactly where the last episode ends. Given that no episode seems to span more than one or two endless days, the trend toward running episodes one into the next like this only contributes to the overall meaningless of time in Rosewood. The Pretty Little Liars struggle with GPS and technology and stuff and try to make their way to the Busy Bee Inn, where Ali may or may not be hiding out.
Busy Bee Inn. The liars go into a room that appears to have broken into (shattered window) and which has been occupied by a female squatter who dresses kind of like Ali.
Marines: She picks up a single floral blouse. "Ali would wear this!" And so would a gabillion other girls and some boys, congrats.
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Dawson’s Creek S02 E20 – Feels for days and days and days

Shrine O'Spielberg. The whole gang is there, hanging out together, and it makes me really happy. Until Dawson says the same thing, and then I get upset that me and Dawson had a mind-meld. (K: Legit.) Anyway, Pacey calls them a clique and they're all, DUDE, NO. Jen helpfully informs the audience that she's now living at the Leerys' house, since Grams kicked her out. Pacey insists that they're one step away from the Peach Pit. Then everyone attacks Pacey with pillows until SO MANY FEATHERS start flying all over the room.
Like, that is way too many feathers for any of these pillows to still appear intact, which they do. My headcanon says the ghost of Abby Morgan is hiding in the ceiling, dumping feathers on all these idiots.
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Charmed S01 E18 – Insert horse chase scene

  • Posted byby Marines
  • October 29, 2014
  • 23 Comments
CRAZY MONTH HAS BEEN CRAZY. But short recap is short, so short apology: sorry. I'm going to get some help with these posts but first, I have to make it out of season 1. Here we go:
We start at a church where a man is telling a priest that he's hearing voices in his head telling him he's a fraud who can't fool God. The Priest tries to comfort him, but Brendan has got an evil family and thinks evil is in his blood. Evil strolls up into the church in the form of two family members. They say they'll be waiting outside for him, so I hope this church has a back door, or something.
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The OC S02 E07 – The Ties that B(l)ind

  • Posted byby Ifeoluwa
  • October 23, 2014
  • 9 Comments
A little backstory, I grew up watching a ton of high school dramas: Saved by the Bell, California Dreams, The OC, and the more recent Gossip Girl. I spent my formative years in Nigeria and everything I knew about the American Education system, I learned from these shows, all of the Bring it On movies and the numerous college drama themed movies I cannot remember. Imagine my surprise and indignation when I came over to the States for college and it was nothing like Hollywood portrayed. College wasn’t an endless party filled with cute, flirty boys, I never became best friends with my roommate, and everything I had been lead to believe was a damn lie!
To be fair, I attended a small liberal arts college that also happens to be the first of the Seven Sisters, and one of the few women’s colleges still in existence. Had I really wanted an All American College Experience TM, I probably should have gone anywhere but there.
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How to Get Away with Murder S01 E04 – Who throws a shoe?

We begin, again, on Murder Night. At 12 Grimmauld Place, we rehash the Michaela is beyond terrified/Connor is verbally abusive and manic/Laurel is trying to stay calm and be helpful/Wes is snuggling Rebecca dynamic. Wes says he needs to get Rebecca out of here while the rest of them go to the woods, since she of all people can’t be found there.
Then there’s an angry knock on the door and everyone panics. It’s Asher, and he is PISSED. Not because of murder!reasons, but because Michaela stole his trophy. They all pretend not to be home, except Connor, who starts cackling like a sociopath. It’s not funny, except when Asher yells, “Are you bitches seriously trying to ignore me right now?” That was weirdly hilarious.
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Doctor Who S01 E01 – Less than fantastic

  • Posted byby Marines
  • October 8, 2014
  • 134 Comments
First and foremost, Kirsti is the long time fan, this is my second watch and Sweeney is the first time watcher. As always, we try to keep things as spoiler-free as we can, for the benefit of the Snow.
I started watching Doctor Who and quit after 1.5 episodes because it was boring me to tears. At some time while season 7 was still airing, Kirsti convinced me to power through season 1, with the expectation that it would get way better. And so I did (except I skipped episode 3. It's the only episode I've never seen.) and I fell in love.
Kirsti: I find it really interesting that so many people have skipped episode 3 of season 1.
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How to Get Away with Murder S01 E02 – Dumbledore’s Army

We open with more shots of Improbable Law School Bonfire. The Chosen Ones are once again fretting about the body disposal issue. This time we learn that the pretty engaged girl who wants Viola Davis's coat/life is angry because, "It's all her fault!" We don't know who "her" refers to yet, but we do know that homegirl just won herself the title star. I'm sure it'll be good for bartering in prison.
Lorraine: Don't spend it all in one day!
Democracy Diva: Or, if you do, spend it a carton of cigarettes, and then you'll have things to trade forever! #protips
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The OC S01 E27 – Leaving the OC, bitch.

FINALE TIME! I have no idea why this show has a ridiculous 27 episode order, but unlike some other teen soap operas, the previouslies inform us that shit has been happening on this show. Speaking of, this episode begins with Seth and Ryan discussing potential baby names. Ryan, suddenly with more to brood about than ever before is uncommonly lighthearted. (For Ryan, anyway. This would still qualify as a broody day for most other fictional characters.) Bro chat comes to an end when Theresa emerges from the family planning clinic.
Casa Cohen. Kirsten gets off a phone call, still distressed about the impending nuptials of The Gruesome Twosome.
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How to Get Away with Murder S01 E01 – #livingthedream

Democracy Diva: Welcome, Traumateers! I am thrilled to be using my status as a barred-but-under-employed attorney to help Sweeney and Lorraine snark the new Shonda Rhimes drama "How to Get Away with Murder."
Lorraine: I'm cracking up already. #livingthedream
Sweeney: You too can spend lots of money/time/sanity on law school so that you can write about it on the internet. For free.
Diva: Like a boss.
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E04 – Keeping face

  • Posted byby Marines
  • September 26, 2014
  • 5 Comments
Best Papa Fields gets home, greets Emily and quickly sends her on her way. Because every other day she has full hours for coffee and crime investigating, but on the day her dad gets home, can't be late! No time!
Sweeney: Emily, girl, reexamine all of your priorities.
Lor: Hanna and Caleb are already at school, discussing Shitbag Marin's missing gun. Caleb's all, "hey, all we know is there may have been a gun in the room when your mom got there and it was definitely gone after she left." Caleb says if Wilden was shot with a 38, Ashley is in trouble. Hanna's response is to just forget everything about murder and evidence and stuff because it's too hard.
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Charmed S01 E12 – When all of a sudden, hair.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • September 10, 2014
  • 15 Comments
I love when we unintentionally develop crossover magic here in Traumaland. Here, we have another wendigo episode! If we really want to this a thing, Wikipedia tells these shows have wendigo appearances: X-Files, Blood Ties, Fear Itself, Haven, Grimm, Hannibal, Teen Wolf or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. You never know.
Piper got a flat tire on the way to meet Prue and Phoebe for dinner. Phoebs is trying to talk her through changing a tire via phone call, but things go south quickly when Piper tries to use a wooden spoon to jack up the car. Phoebe offers to go and get her, seeing as how she's stranded and only has a broken wooden spoon to protect herself. Somewhere, Buffy is all, "girl, that's enough!" Especially in the later seasons when minimal effort was required to pierce through the chest.
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Dawson’s Creek S02 E04 – Return of the statutory rape

We open with Dawson and Joey making out on a blanket, which appears to be located adjacent to a sidewalk. It's a less than ideal location for sexytimes. Joey wants to stop because it's cold, and I'm like, girl, you are not allowed to even talk about the weather on this show because it DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. (K: A+, girl.) Dawson thinks the location is beautiful and romantic but she's like, ew, bugs, and also, let's go indoors please. She calls him cheesy, but also "unbearably sexy," so I'm gonna need some brain bleach before the credits even roll. They make out, and this scene was totally unnecessary.
After the credits, Mitch and Dawson are discussing Mitch's meeting about buying a property.
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Pretty Little Liars S03 E21 – Pedolationship Realness

This episode begins shortly after the last, with Emily arriving to hear Spencer's big secret. Hanna's not answering her calls, so Spencer has to confess without her: Toby is A.
Marin Manor. Ashley and Hanna return and Ashley wants to call the hospital and the cops, which would have been good ideas a while ago, before she went to get her child to help her with her crime. Hanna explains that now that she's left the scene of an accident and all, she should just not call the cops. Ashley continues to let her child be the grown up and agrees, but only so long as Hanna promises not to tell her friends about this.
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The OC S01 E11 – Terrible Plans 101

Seth is pleading with Kirsten to put the recipe books away. She's desperate to treat Ryan to a proper family Thanksgiving, but Seth is convinced that Kirsten's cooking will destroy a holiday that he waits for all year. Even Eyebrows has to note that she's not inspiring a lot of confidence when she doesn't even know where the pans are in the kitchen.
More awkwardness ensues when she tries to ascertain what to do with the turkey. Were people not widely aware of the power of Googling yet in 2003? Google could answer your questions, Kirsten. (L: Complete with instructional Youtube video! ...were people Youtubing in 2003?) (S: Sadly, no, that didn't start until 2005.) Seth and Sandy both jump in to volunteer to do stuff, leaving Kirsten with the useful task of answering the phone.