We open in space. We zoom past the Moon to Earth. A narrator tells us that in the last days of planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. Except that everyone forgot because people are dumb. Well, one person remembered. We zoom in on Wilf(!!!!!!), watching happily as a Salvation Army band plays Christmas carols. He hears a maniacal laugh in his head, and shakes himself.
Season 3 opens with a bang. Just kidding, we're at the Halliwell Manor as usual. Prue is in the attic, flipping through the Book of Shadows while we get some weird shots of creepy dolls and a teddy bear. I'm 3 seconds into the episode, and I'm already confused. This is going to be a great season, I can tell.
A cuckoo clock goes off and scares Prue and then Phoebe comes in and that scares her too, so much so, she magics Phoebe into some attic junk. Phoebe's hair is now blondish, and I am not a fan. (M: Me neither. I'm sorry I complained about your old hair! Not really, but bring it back.)
A cuckoo clock goes off and scares Prue and then Phoebe comes in and that scares her too, so much so, she magics Phoebe into some attic junk. Phoebe's hair is now blondish, and I am not a fan. (M: Me neither. I'm sorry I complained about your old hair! Not really, but bring it back.)
Prue is at the most 90's photoshoot ever (one of the posing dudes is wearing a metallic shirt), showing off her portfolio to an art director (?). He's impressed with her work even though she probably threw the whole thing together over the weekend. It's not enough to get her a job, though, because her resume shows she's an evil job switcher. Prue asks if she can have a shot anyway and the AD agrees to give her the job if she can get a photo of Amy Adams Maggie Murphy, an unlucky Irish woman (Haha! the irony!) who used to do good things until she got unlucky. He wants an artistic photo of Maggie's inner soul by 5 PM.
Prison. Two guards come to collect a prisoner who is Antonio Sabato, Jr. You'll probably recall that he was on the show previously but may not recall why. Basically, I'm describing myself. Thankfully they say his name right away so I don't have to keep typing Antonio Sabato, Jr.
Stephanie: I only remember Bane as the guy Prue made out with when she put on leather and became a Bad Girl for a day. I don't remember why he's in jail. I also don't care.
Stephanie: I only remember Bane as the guy Prue made out with when she put on leather and became a Bad Girl for a day. I don't remember why he's in jail. I also don't care.
The supremely phallic Human Dalek announces that all of the humans in attendance will soon also increase their facial phallicness 1000%. The Doctor sneaks away as the Coverall Pigs step forward to apprehend people. "Happy Days Are Here Again" starts playing and everyone gets real confused. Phallic Human Dalek asks what that sound is and the Doctor peaks out to say he did it. He's got a radio in his hands. The Daleks immediately cry EXTERMINATE, but Phallic Human Dalek stops them. All he says is, "wait!" though, so we don't get a reason as to why they are leaving the Doctor still alive. Just wait.
College. (S: UGH. WHY?) Phoebe is in a class where the professor is talking about some mating rituals, because of course. Because if we're going to see Phoebe in a class, it's obviously going to be a class about mating rituals.
There is this dude with hedgehog hair (S: Now they're just going out of their way to cast men with the worst hair.) in the class who keeps giving Phoebe LOOKS. She returns them and does a little hair flipping. Behind her, some girls start giggling about something and Phoebe asks what's up with her study group having fun with out her.
There is this dude with hedgehog hair (S: Now they're just going out of their way to cast men with the worst hair.) in the class who keeps giving Phoebe LOOKS. She returns them and does a little hair flipping. Behind her, some girls start giggling about something and Phoebe asks what's up with her study group having fun with out her.
We had such a lovely time last episode, I'm feeling all giddy about this recap! Shoutout to the, um, science side of that recap (basically Mairead...) for the insight into black holes. (K: SERIOUSLY. I may be shitty at replying to comments, but those comments were the freaking bomb.) Now, let's all watch as the show ignores all that science and gets to the FEELS shall we?
Oh, we cut from really extensive previouslies to the credits:
Oh, we cut from really extensive previouslies to the credits:
So, I watched this episode like two weeks ago and then promptly laughed at Stephanie because she had the baby episode of Charmed. Shortly after that she was all, "I'm sooooo busy. Maybe you should take the next episode."
That's not exactly what happened but it doesn't matter because: baby episode.
Stephanie: Baby episodes are the worst, but I'm sure there's another episode riddled with dumb gender stereotypes waiting for me and the balance will be restored. Then again, I already covered the episode where Prue became a Bro.
That's not exactly what happened but it doesn't matter because: baby episode.
Stephanie: Baby episodes are the worst, but I'm sure there's another episode riddled with dumb gender stereotypes waiting for me and the balance will be restored. Then again, I already covered the episode where Prue became a Bro.
A group of monks approach a castle and a bald one, the head monk presumably, tells a man that they want the house, and they will be taking it now. The owner is like LOL okay, do you want my wife, too? But Bald Head Monk isn't kidding around and says that he will take that shit with his fists. He kicks Home Owner to the ground and a fun(ny) fight scene develops as Bald Head Monk orders the other monks to remove their hoods, revealing a group of Not Monks who are actually Ninjas with badass fighting sticks. They fight their way through the entire castle, taking it over. Learning martial arts would be so be worth it if it kept you from having to sign a 30-year mortgage loan.
The Tenth Doctor and his Converse take charge of the TARDIS, and fiddles with various things on the console. He flicks a switch, and the engines start up, and he grins. It's pure Tennant "OMG THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD DREAM COME TRUE" and I love everything about it. Outside, Rose hugs Jackie and Mickey goodbye and runs in with what's clearly an empty pack on her back.
Marines: At least she's graduated to proper goodbyes with her family now. The sadness on Mickey's face as he watches her walk into the TARDIS and Jackie just walking away, sending her girl back into danger? I want to hug them both.
K: Same, girl, same.
Marines: At least she's graduated to proper goodbyes with her family now. The sadness on Mickey's face as he watches her walk into the TARDIS and Jackie just walking away, sending her girl back into danger? I want to hug them both.
K: Same, girl, same.
First, there is a mini-episode that connects The Parting of the Ways with The Christmas Invasion, which you can watch here. Mostly it's Rose asking this new Doctor who he is. It's a single shot, tight scene that looks like it was filmed like this: Hey. No one move! Read this script real quick! We're gonna shoot it in five. And I mean that it in the nicest way possible, as I think this was aired to benefit charity... Point is that the acting is a bit off and it is a strange introduction to David Tennant's Doctor. I watched this and at the end yelled, "BRING BACK ECCLESTON."
Kirsti: Whereas, you know, I watched it after I'd already seen all of Ten and I squealed.
Kirsti: Whereas, you know, I watched it after I'd already seen all of Ten and I squealed.
When Mari asked me if I’d like to take on another show and told me Supernatural and Charmed were both available, I immediately jumped on this one because I like pain.
Marines: Um, I don't care why you're doing it. HOORAY!
Steph: Come along, friends, as we enter another season of utter nonsense.
Marines: Um, I don't care why you're doing it. HOORAY!
Steph: Come along, friends, as we enter another season of utter nonsense.
Sorry this post is late. I have Angel levels of, "I DON'T WANNA," feelings about this right now, but seeing the episode title, I'm moderately excited because I know that Daleks are A THING and literally the only reason I am watching this show is because I hate feeling left out of cultural references and this show I don't yet enjoy watching happens to be a BFD with my corner of the internet. "Ha! I get that joke!" I will say as I laugh into my internet martinis and choke them back a little faster so I don't have to share my true feelings.
Prue and Phoebe are going through old pictures and Phoebe is complaining about a lack of HER in all of them. Prue finds a couple of Baby Phoebe, including one with their mom. Phoebe catches some feels but before they can explore them too much, Piper rushes in looking for pen and paper. There's a knock on the door and on the way there, Piper exposits to her sisters that every year this man shows up on the same day with flowers for their grandmother from a secret admirer, when clearly he's the admirer.
Piper opens the door and it's Blatant Admirer with flowers for "Penny Halliwell."
Piper opens the door and it's Blatant Admirer with flowers for "Penny Halliwell."
We pick up exactly where we left off, with Rose running into the TARDIS. Only this time, the shot is from the inside. The Doctor grins and asks Rose where she wants to go first - forwards or backwards in time. She picks forwards, one hundred years. The Doctor flicks some switches and gizmos on the TARDIS console, and they vworp vworp their way to the 22nd century. But when they land, the Doctor declares 100 years to be nothing and suggests going further. Rose agrees, and he flicks some console stuff again. More vworp-ing, and they're 10,000 years in the future, at the height of the New Roman Empire. Rose smirks that the Doctor thinks he's impressive, and he decides they're going further. He mans the console again and we see the TARDIS flying through a time vortex. (L: Flying with our old, dear friends, Bad Special Effects. Man, those guys stay busy!)