Veronica wishes Keith a good morning and gets a, "you don't hang out at the Oceanside bars, do you?" in response. So, probably not a great morning for him. She jokes about preferring biker bars, though Keith is not in a joking mood as a 20-year-old co-ed was recently found murdered. Keith shows Veronica the newspaper, which has a big "The E-String Strangler Strikes Again" headline. I read e-string, and my mind immediately went to the Internet. This murderer is probably not strangling people with a string he bought online, though. Just to clarify.
Democracy Diva: At least it's not a g-string strangler.
The previouslies give us a major Mona update, including the usually-wrong Liars assuring Aria that Mona's totally locked up for good. That combined with the episode title has me keeping my fingers crossed that our favorite lunatic rejoins the outside world, just to keep the non-plot interesting.
Sara: Mona totally is my favorite lunatic. And there are a lot of lunatics in Traumaland, so saying Mona is my favorite actually counts for a lot.
Lorraine: Something tells me we should open this up to a vote at the end of the year in the Traumaland Awards. Our lunatics should definitely know where they stand.
Sara: Mona totally is my favorite lunatic. And there are a lot of lunatics in Traumaland, so saying Mona is my favorite actually counts for a lot.
Lorraine: Something tells me we should open this up to a vote at the end of the year in the Traumaland Awards. Our lunatics should definitely know where they stand.
Hanna stomps through the Rosewood Hospital looking for room 312. Spencer tries to slow her down and talk her through a plan. They are going to replace the note in Garrett's Mom's room with a fake note, meant to lead whoever Garret is working with to a location where the Liars will be waiting. Spencer knows all that part of the plan, but points out that they should probably pick out a location before stomping into the coma room. Hanna quickly picks the church. Apparently, the girls assume that whoever Garrett is trying to communicate with on the outside is also A. And Spencer is assuming that Lucas is A, because he doesn't take showers. Or because they found those pills used to drug Emily amongst his things. Probably both.
Sweeney: Why are they finalizing this plan at the hospital?
Sweeney: Why are they finalizing this plan at the hospital?
Today's fun time in Sunnydale begins in a funeral home where two guys are closing up, after preparing an older woman for her service the next day.
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it:
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it:
Our Pretty Liars are congregated in front of Spencer's locker at the Rosewood School for Discussing Secrets Loudly. They are discussing their secrets. Loudly. Emily wants to know how Spencer got $2000 for their informant so quickly, and she vagues about having a relative who helped.
Aria and Spencer are going to meet the informant, Jonah, at 6pm and they will meet with Hanna and Emily afterwards. Hanna wants to know why she doesn't get to go make shady money exchanges; Spencer explains that showing up four deep might freak Jonah out. Emily shouts about wanting to be there to learn the truth but Mona strides up and they have to cut their conversation short. The Liars greet Mona with a tepid, "hey," before she pulls Hanna away to chat about shopping plans
Aria and Spencer are going to meet the informant, Jonah, at 6pm and they will meet with Hanna and Emily afterwards. Hanna wants to know why she doesn't get to go make shady money exchanges; Spencer explains that showing up four deep might freak Jonah out. Emily shouts about wanting to be there to learn the truth but Mona strides up and they have to cut their conversation short. The Liars greet Mona with a tepid, "hey," before she pulls Hanna away to chat about shopping plans
Today's episode begins with a flashback! We're at the Tam Estate, 11 years ago. Kid!Simon is sitting by the fireplace working on something while kid!River tries to play an elaborate role playing game with him. It is here that I do a double take because kid!Simon is none other than a young Zac Efron. LOLOLOLOL. I might giggle through this entire scene. (L: I'll have fingers crossed for a sudden musical number!) Hilarity aside, it's a very cute scene - kid!River is adorable and imaginative and kid!Simon is a pretty fantastic older brother. He sets aside his light-up tablet thing to engage/encourage kid!River further when she demonstrates her general brilliance by pointing out that his assignment (the problem itself, not his answer) is wrong. It's worth noting that her game is very us/them with "them" being the independents.
That point is driven home when their father enters. Zac Efron and his father chat about future technology and have a conversation that's sort of the equivalent of Zac Efron wanting his own, unfiltered internet account, but dad doesn't want him to have unfettered access to porn and other unsavory things. (He says it in Mandarin, btw, I'm assuming it was long-winded Mandarin for "porn and unsavory politics.") (L: He actually says, "heaven knows what." Heaven might not know, but Sweeney does! PORN AND UNSAVORY POLITICS.) Unfortunately, he was overruled by his wife who is OK with Zac Efron getting porn, anarchy, and The Real Housewives of the Outer Planets. (L: A+) Papa Tam adds, though, that Zac Efron had better use his "dedicated source box" to become a super genius doctor.
That point is driven home when their father enters. Zac Efron and his father chat about future technology and have a conversation that's sort of the equivalent of Zac Efron wanting his own, unfiltered internet account, but dad doesn't want him to have unfettered access to porn and other unsavory things. (He says it in Mandarin, btw, I'm assuming it was long-winded Mandarin for "porn and unsavory politics.") (L: He actually says, "heaven knows what." Heaven might not know, but Sweeney does! PORN AND UNSAVORY POLITICS.) Unfortunately, he was overruled by his wife who is OK with Zac Efron getting porn, anarchy, and The Real Housewives of the Outer Planets. (L: A+) Papa Tam adds, though, that Zac Efron had better use his "dedicated source box" to become a super genius doctor.
Spencer, Hanna and Aria sit in a police interrogation room, arms and faces covered in dirty. On the other side of the one way glass, some officer is telling a shadowy detective that the girls haven't said a word since they were brought in. The Zoomy Cameraman focuses on Detective Mystery's mouth so we can watch it smirk at the thought of securing his own promotion by destroying the lives of three girls.
It comes as no real shock that this is Detective Wilden, last seen being the stupidest detective of all time, taking advantage of Mama Marin's vagina and also getting a verbal SMACKDOWN from Mariska Mom.
It comes as no real shock that this is Detective Wilden, last seen being the stupidest detective of all time, taking advantage of Mama Marin's vagina and also getting a verbal SMACKDOWN from Mariska Mom.
This is your semi-regular reminder that at least one of these four girls should now have been driven to full-blown insanity with the stress of an ever-changing cadre of blackmailers, murderers, and murders in their lives. The fact that 4/4 are still fully-functional human beings strikes me as implausible at best. Henceforth, I choose to view the story as all being some sort of vivid dream on the part of an institutionalized PLL. It makes the implausibility factor of all other events easier to handle too! You may all begin voting on which PLL's brain my headcanon should be attributed to.
The nervous-break-induced story continues in Emily's bedroom, where the PLLs are folding flyers for a fashion show because that is EVEN BETTER than another effing dance.
The nervous-break-induced story continues in Emily's bedroom, where the PLLs are folding flyers for a fashion show because that is EVEN BETTER than another effing dance.