Tag: stalk you later

BSC #017 “Mary Anne’s Bad-Luck Mystery” – Trapped in middle school for the rest of forever

Unfortunately for Mary Anne, and more importantly me, she is trapped in the eighth grade for the rest of forever and it’s just not a good look for her. Our story begins with the usual redundant nonsense. Kristy is gross, but Mary Anne is lame and obsessed with her, so we get to hear all about it. Today our girls are placed into predictable developing-complex-characters-is-hard boxes by way of introducing them alongside their lunch choices. Kristy gets the school lunch so she can be gross, Dawn eats granola and tofu and shit, and Claudia loves junk food blah blah blah. Oh and also Kristy lives in a giant-house-no-jk-a-mansion and Claudia is “exotic.” The usual.

Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 17 – What’s A Pap Smear Go For These Days?

E.L. James likes to end scenes with falling asleep, because it's quick and easy and because she learned all her writing skillz from the second grade. If the last page of this book says "it was all a dream," I QUIT LIFE. We start chapter 17 with -shock- Ana waking up. She was dreaming of a candle flame and she's a moth flying right for the light. She says, "I'm flying too close to the sun," and even though she doesn't mention Icarus, that's like a copy paste from two pages ago. Ana realizes that she's dreaming of hot things because Grey is draped across her and his body is making her hot. I know this is really nuanced writing here, but try to keep up. We're told that Grey's body heat is suffocating Ana. If we've learned anything from all the times her breathing has failed her, though, it's that Ana lives not by oxygen alone. I think she actually breathes gray eyes, abusive relationships and hating Katherine Kavanagh. She proves this by taking a moment out from suffocating to be really happy that Grey spent the night in her bed.