Orange County is pretty! That's how we open before settling in on the Cohen home, where Kirsten exposits that Ryan hasn’t spoken to them in days. Sandy says he’s not worried about Ryan not talking to the two of them, but he is concerned that Ryan’s still ignoring Seth.
Meanwhile, Ryan’s on the phone with Julie, who’s pouting about Sandy and Kirsten uninviting her from Thanksgiving. Kirsten and Sandy are discussing this as well, and Sandy says sending their kids on a murder mission knocks you off the guest list.
We open at a bar. A late 30s blonde sits at the bar, sipping a cocktail and looking bored. Sam sits down next to her, acting super weird. He shows off his licence dramatically, talking about how he's 26. The bartender's all "I do not get paid enough for this shit", which is legit. He proceeds to order a banana daiquiri. Blonde Cougar introduces herself, and Sam says that his name is Gary. She flirts with him, and he's all "RIGHT?? I'm totally hot!"
His daiquiri arrives and for some reason, with every sip he takes, we're treated to that "okay, seriously, your drink is finished, stop convincing yourself you can get the last drop through the straw" sound, which makes zero sense.
His daiquiri arrives and for some reason, with every sip he takes, we're treated to that "okay, seriously, your drink is finished, stop convincing yourself you can get the last drop through the straw" sound, which makes zero sense.
We open at a Motel of the Week where Sam is sleeping all by his lonesome. And shirtless. Which I only point out because it’s super rare for the guys to be shirtless on this show. I think I remember reading somewhere once that J2 specifically asked for that to be the case. So I always find it interesting when it does happen. Anyway, yeah, Sam is sleeping and I swear he looks broody and troubled even in his sleep. Nothing is safe from manpain.
Hello, everyone! It's me, you're O.C. newbie back again to recap an episode of a show that I do not understand and that scares me a little. Just as a refresher, I have seen two episodes of this show ever including this one. So I'm a Snow here in the vast, uncharted wilderness of teen angst.
This episode did not start with any previouslies. It was just a very abrupt shot of their house. So abrupt that I had to pause it and calm down and get a glass of orange juice it was very taxing, you guys.
This episode did not start with any previouslies. It was just a very abrupt shot of their house. So abrupt that I had to pause it and calm down and get a glass of orange juice it was very taxing, you guys.
Yes, I totally pilfered that title from the Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman book. Shut up.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean's panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It's kind of like when you're playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up... (M: I don't really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he's in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it's not a real coffin, it's made out of crappy bits of 2x4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean's panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It's kind of like when you're playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up... (M: I don't really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he's in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it's not a real coffin, it's made out of crappy bits of 2x4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.
CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! That's right, friends. It's the season finale.
Marines: My first one! High fives all around!
K: WOO! Only a million to go!! *cries*
Marines: My first one! High fives all around!
K: WOO! Only a million to go!! *cries*
We open at a prison. A dude I know from One Episode of Everything Ever heads into the visiting area where he's visiting Gordon. UGH, GORDON. (A: I second this ugh.) He fills Gordon in on what happened in Wyoming, and Gordon's all "SAM WINCHESTER WAS THERE". Our random visitor, Kubrick, confirms it, but says he's heard the Winchesters were there to help. Gordon refuses to believe it, and says "Sam Winchester must die". He hangs up the phone (without saying goodbye) and we fade to black.
We're treated to another round of Carry On Wayward Son because obviously, then we see Sam's dead body lying on a bed, Dean standing over him. Let's just go ahead and do this, shall we?
Bobby walks in with a bucket of chicken, and tells Dean he has to eat something. Dean disagrees and swigs from a flask. Bobby suggests burying Sam, but Dean won't have a bar of it. Bobby begs for Dean's help dealing with the whole world ending thing, but Dean yells "Well, then let it end!". He's sacrificed enough and he's done. He tells Bobby to leave. Bobby sighs and heads out, telling Dean he knows where to find him. Dean looks back at Sam's corpse, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Bobby walks in with a bucket of chicken, and tells Dean he has to eat something. Dean disagrees and swigs from a flask. Bobby suggests burying Sam, but Dean won't have a bar of it. Bobby begs for Dean's help dealing with the whole world ending thing, but Dean yells "Well, then let it end!". He's sacrificed enough and he's done. He tells Bobby to leave. Bobby sighs and heads out, telling Dean he knows where to find him. Dean looks back at Sam's corpse, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Shrine O'Spielberg. The whole gang is there, hanging out together, and it makes me really happy. Until Dawson says the same thing, and then I get upset that me and Dawson had a mind-meld. (K: Legit.) Anyway, Pacey calls them a clique and they're all, DUDE, NO. Jen helpfully informs the audience that she's now living at the Leerys' house, since Grams kicked her out. Pacey insists that they're one step away from the Peach Pit. Then everyone attacks Pacey with pillows until SO MANY FEATHERS start flying all over the room.
Like, that is way too many feathers for any of these pillows to still appear intact, which they do. My headcanon says the ghost of Abby Morgan is hiding in the ceiling, dumping feathers on all these idiots.
Like, that is way too many feathers for any of these pillows to still appear intact, which they do. My headcanon says the ghost of Abby Morgan is hiding in the ceiling, dumping feathers on all these idiots.
We open in Sunnydale's main street. It's busier than we've ever seen it, bumper to bumper traffic as people flee the Hellmouth-y vibes.
Lorraine: Only seven season later. Better late than never, population of Sunnydale!
Sweeney: "See, even the population of Sunnydale is peacing out! We promise we're a couple episodes away from a real mega apocalypse!"
K: A+.
Lorraine: Only seven season later. Better late than never, population of Sunnydale!
Sweeney: "See, even the population of Sunnydale is peacing out! We promise we're a couple episodes away from a real mega apocalypse!"
K: A+.
After a whopping one minute and twenty three seconds of previouslies (seriously?!), a middle aged couple are being cornered by some guys in an alley. Buffy puns her way into the picture and goes in for the fight, only to discover that the guys doing the cornering are human and she's just interrupted a run of the mill mugging. She hands the lady back her handbag and ushers the couple away.
The muggers, meanwhile, are complete idiots and decide to attack Buffy. She pins one and is heading for the other when a shape jumps out of the darkness and hits the second mugger. Buffy yells "NO!" but it's too late - Spike grabs his head in pain and the muggers get away.
The muggers, meanwhile, are complete idiots and decide to attack Buffy. She pins one and is heading for the other when a shape jumps out of the darkness and hits the second mugger. Buffy yells "NO!" but it's too late - Spike grabs his head in pain and the muggers get away.
We open at the Magic Box, where they're having their Halloween Bone-anza, and they should REALLY have thought up a different name for that because that does NOT sound like something I would want to attend. (L: Lots of bone jokes lately...) ANYWAY. Xander's dressed as a pirate and is trying to tell a small child dressed as a fireman that he found the bottle of fireflies he's holding off the coast of Kathmandu. The small child is dubious, and I am too because apparently Xander's never cracked an atlas in his life.
Lorraine: Xander gets points though, this being Talk Like a Pirate Day and all. I swear that's a thing. Also, I clearly have to point out that this child is Beans from Even Stevens. That is all.
Lorraine: Xander gets points though, this being Talk Like a Pirate Day and all. I swear that's a thing. Also, I clearly have to point out that this child is Beans from Even Stevens. That is all.
The episode starts immediately after the end of the last, with Glory busting into Tara's dorm room from the outside and discovering that Dawn is the key. Buffy takes off running with Dawn, and apparently doesn't have time to open the door, so she barrels through it. Of course, now she's on the floor and has to scramble to her feet. I'd call that a plan fail.
Sweeney: Not that she really had ample time for quality plan-making.
Kirsti: True. But my first thought would always be to open a door rather than try to jump through it...
Sweeney: Not that she really had ample time for quality plan-making.
Kirsti: True. But my first thought would always be to open a door rather than try to jump through it...
Kirsti: Well, we're officially into the second half of season 5, y'all! We open at Chez Summers where a Scooby Gang meeting is in progress. Buffy apologises for the house being messy - Joyce still isn't up to doing the cleaning, and Buffy's 19 and has a sacred duty to save the planet from evil, so pffff, cleaning.
Lorraine: I'm 26 and have a sacred duty to watch TV for a not-living. Pfff. Cleaning.
K: A+. I'm 30 and periodically "Pff" when my mother suggests I dust my room.
Lorraine: I'm 26 and have a sacred duty to watch TV for a not-living. Pfff. Cleaning.
K: A+. I'm 30 and periodically "Pff" when my mother suggests I dust my room.
Sweeney: Season 5 has mixed reviews from all of you, but anything beats S4 in my book, so let's get started and leave that disappointment behind us. Buffy is lying in bed with Riley and unable to sleep because she knows her relationship is doomed. Or because she knows there's a vampire out there waiting to be staked. Whatever. She gets up, runs through the cemetery and gets to staking before returning to bed, knowing that it's just her doing the slaying and no more Initiative, and all is well in the world.
Lorraine: I got all sorts of Buffy answering the call of duty vibes from this scene. A lot of those very! significant! moments in Restless told us about Buffy coming up against her slayer nature and really belonging to this world.
Lorraine: I got all sorts of Buffy answering the call of duty vibes from this scene. A lot of those very! significant! moments in Restless told us about Buffy coming up against her slayer nature and really belonging to this world.