We pick this episode up right where we left off last time, with everyone looking at Toby's house on fire. Their phones all ring and it's a text message from A: Did you miss me, bitches? Um, actually no. Emily is still like, "but Shana is dead!" because even though a house is exploding in front of them, apparently we're still going to find it hard to believe that A is STILL a thing.
Jessica: This attitude just explains why in 5 seasons, we're no closer to finding out what the hell is going on with this A person/people than we were in Season 1, Episode 1.
Mari: As they look on and wonder where Toby went, the house explodes some more.
A chapter is starting, so a character is waking up. Grey screams, "no!" and I find it oddly hilarious that EL tells us that the scream, "bounces off the bedroom walls and wakes [him] from [his] nightmare." That rude scream bounces off the wall and probably bopped him on the head.
Grey wakes up and can still smell the "stale beer, cigarettes and poverty" from his nightmare. He can smell the poverty. Usually we're being facetious when we use the "I hear poor people smell bad" tag, but leave it to Grey to think that poverty is actually a smell.
Grey wakes up and can still smell the "stale beer, cigarettes and poverty" from his nightmare. He can smell the poverty. Usually we're being facetious when we use the "I hear poor people smell bad" tag, but leave it to Grey to think that poverty is actually a smell.
First off, like so many guest recappers, I have to admit this is the only episode of the O.C. I've ever seen. Everything I know about the show comes from reading Snark Squad posts, which basically means I'm pretty sure this is a show about Sandy Cohan's Eyebrows being the paradigm of good parenting, and also trying to interpret what Ryan and Marissa's expressions mean. (M: Damn, we've done a good job of capturing the essentials!)
ANYWAY, we open with the staring foursome drinking “mocktails” and having a meta conversation about winter break and the show – I mean school – starting back up.
ANYWAY, we open with the staring foursome drinking “mocktails” and having a meta conversation about winter break and the show – I mean school – starting back up.
We open two days before Halloween with people setting up their front gardens and shit. IDEK, you guys. Australia doesn't do Halloween. It's kind of hard when it's spring and everything's green and leafy, and it doesn't get dark until 8pm...
Marines: You guys are missing the point then, which is mainly: CANDY.
K: Yeah, but like, just go to the supermarket and buy it yourself. Then you don't have to talk to people. Or dress up.
Marines: You guys are missing the point then, which is mainly: CANDY.
K: Yeah, but like, just go to the supermarket and buy it yourself. Then you don't have to talk to people. Or dress up.
We open with Dawson trying to teach Joey how to drive stick. She gives up, because Dawson's condescending lessons are spectacularly unsuccessful, and Pacey pops his head up from the back of the truck to complain. Joey tells Dawson that he's no Lloyd Dobler (obviously, because Lloyd Dobler is the cutest and Dawson is the worst), who was very patient when teaching Ione Skye how to drive in Say Anything. Dawson says Joey just isn't listening to him.
Kirsti: Which is totally fair because Dawson's a dick and his instructions are terrible.
Diva: YUP
Pacey asks if Joey is seeing her college boy tonight for Valentine's Day, but he's too busy with exams.
Kirsti: Which is totally fair because Dawson's a dick and his instructions are terrible.
Diva: YUP
Pacey asks if Joey is seeing her college boy tonight for Valentine's Day, but he's too busy with exams.
London, 1599. A guy with a terrible hair cut plays the lute and sings to a woman leaning out of her window. It's all very Romeo and Juliet. She looks incredibly familiar, and that's because she's Blanche Ingram from the BBC's 2006 version of Jane Eyre! (M: AHHH!) She also played Caroline Bingley in Lost in Austen. (M: Less exciting.) She informs him that after his amazing singing she's totally DTF and he rushes upstairs.
When he gets to her room, he's weirded out to see that it's full of creepy magical looking stuff. She kisses him, and turns into a crone with pointy teeth. He freaks. She gestures and two other crone-faced witches rush forward. They cackle as they surround him, and tear him to shreds.
When he gets to her room, he's weirded out to see that it's full of creepy magical looking stuff. She kisses him, and turns into a crone with pointy teeth. He freaks. She gestures and two other crone-faced witches rush forward. They cackle as they surround him, and tear him to shreds.
I've already said plenty that this is the series I'm most looking forward to revisiting because I suspect my feelings will be different on rewatch. I'm keeping my mind open, friends. The Rose-era has passed and onward we go.
Busy London street. Freema Agyeman is back, you guys, and she's walking along. She gets a call from her sister who insists that their father is going mental and Freema has to do something about it. Next, her brother rings (and thankfully calls her Martha, getting that out of the way) and says that he didn't even want a party and if their parents are going to fight about it, they can just give him the money. I tried this tactic for my Quinceañera and I'm still waiting on that money, bro.
Busy London street. Freema Agyeman is back, you guys, and she's walking along. She gets a call from her sister who insists that their father is going mental and Freema has to do something about it. Next, her brother rings (and thankfully calls her Martha, getting that out of the way) and says that he didn't even want a party and if their parents are going to fight about it, they can just give him the money. I tried this tactic for my Quinceañera and I'm still waiting on that money, bro.
Granted, this rating is happening from fuzzy memory, but I feel good about giving it anyway:
Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.
Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.
Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.
Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.
First things first: this episode is a bitch and a half to find gifs for on account of the Jus in Bello convention. So I'm sorry about any giant slabs of text...
Monument, Colorado. The boys break into an incredibly white hotel room and search it. Apparently it's Bela's room and they're looking for the Colt. Suddenly the phone rings. After staring at it awkwardly for a minute, Dean answers. It's Bela, who informs him that she's two states away already. He demands the Colt back, and she's all "LOL NOPE". He murder-nounces that he's going to find her because he has nothing better to do with his life, and she informs him that he's about to get suuuuuuper busy on account of she gave the cops a tip off. The door bursts open, the cops appear, and the boys are arrested.
Monument, Colorado. The boys break into an incredibly white hotel room and search it. Apparently it's Bela's room and they're looking for the Colt. Suddenly the phone rings. After staring at it awkwardly for a minute, Dean answers. It's Bela, who informs him that she's two states away already. He demands the Colt back, and she's all "LOL NOPE". He murder-nounces that he's going to find her because he has nothing better to do with his life, and she informs him that he's about to get suuuuuuper busy on account of she gave the cops a tip off. The door bursts open, the cops appear, and the boys are arrested.
Bobby walks through his house with a flashlight in hand. He hears a noise and turns, but there's nothing there. He heads into the kitchen and looks around, but it's empty. Suddenly, a woman screams and attacks him. He falls to the floor, and she shakes him back and forth. The screen flashes white a few times and we cut to Bobby asleep in a motel bed. It's daylight. A maid enters, and apologises when she sees him. She pulls the keys from the door, and they jangle. But Bobby doesn't budge. She looks concerned and walks over to him. She shakes his shoulder a little, and he still doesn't move. We cut back to the screaming woman in the kitchen and Bobby trying to fend off her blows.
We'll start this with an announcement: Sweeney is officially bowing out of these recaps. It's mostly because she needed to reorganize how she spends her time and this was an easier thing to take off her plate. She can probably tell you all her reasoning in the comments, because she's still going to try and hang out there and perhaps keep up with the series. That said, Sara will be joining us as the third recapper and our official Snow. YAY SARA!
Now episode:
GILES. I'm glad we're getting this out of the way so soon in the episode because GILES, GILES, GILES!
Now episode:
GILES. I'm glad we're getting this out of the way so soon in the episode because GILES, GILES, GILES!
Jen and Pacey are having a domestic moment, grocery shopping and arguing about what to cook for Thanksgiving at Grams’s, which is conveniently ruining their sex-buddies situation. Pacey blames Jen for the fact that this situation has not actually happened yet, and she just kinda laughs at his foreplay, which, RUDE. Then Jen comes up with the brilliant idea to do it immediately before/during/after the Grams Turkey Day God Fest '99.
Pacey says, uh, kinda have to spend the holiday with own my terrible family at some point. (K: I don't even want to think about how horrible a Witter family Thanksgiving would be...) (D: I'm thankful we were spared a scene at the Witter house.)
Pacey says, uh, kinda have to spend the holiday with own my terrible family at some point. (K: I don't even want to think about how horrible a Witter family Thanksgiving would be...) (D: I'm thankful we were spared a scene at the Witter house.)
We open with a slightly terrifying close-up of a ginger bloke and Rose voiceover-ing about her dad, the most wonderful man in the world. I feel like I know the ginger bloke from something, but IMDb informs me it's just One Episode of Every British Police Show Ever. (M: A+) That throws us into a flashback of Jackie showing Mini!Rose photos of her father and telling her about the day he died, how it was the same day that friends of hers got married. In the TARDIS, Rose asks the Doctor if they can go and see her father when he was still alive. The Doctor is briefly concerned and tells her "be careful what you wish for" but agrees with a grin nonetheless. He pulls some controls and the TARDIS vworp vworps.
Shrine O'Spielberg. The whole gang is there, hanging out together, and it makes me really happy. Until Dawson says the same thing, and then I get upset that me and Dawson had a mind-meld. (K: Legit.) Anyway, Pacey calls them a clique and they're all, DUDE, NO. Jen helpfully informs the audience that she's now living at the Leerys' house, since Grams kicked her out. Pacey insists that they're one step away from the Peach Pit. Then everyone attacks Pacey with pillows until SO MANY FEATHERS start flying all over the room.
Like, that is way too many feathers for any of these pillows to still appear intact, which they do. My headcanon says the ghost of Abby Morgan is hiding in the ceiling, dumping feathers on all these idiots.
Like, that is way too many feathers for any of these pillows to still appear intact, which they do. My headcanon says the ghost of Abby Morgan is hiding in the ceiling, dumping feathers on all these idiots.
I’m starting off my recap with a Grand Proclamation of Love. Don't worry, Ladies of Snark - you can keep your Seth Cohen, because I am all Ryan all the time. He can grab my face and movie star kiss me any day.
Like most episodes, we start off in the Cohen kitchen. While I love the Cohen house, this kitchen is far too small and ordinary for the setting. This always distracts me from what’s happening in the show. Where is the chandelier? Why is the room so small?
Like most episodes, we start off in the Cohen kitchen. While I love the Cohen house, this kitchen is far too small and ordinary for the setting. This always distracts me from what’s happening in the show. Where is the chandelier? Why is the room so small?