Almost five years ago, our baby website decided to expand from its usual fare (the terrible books we read as children) to cover a TV show. At the insistence of my friends, I'd watched the pilot episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer even before the founding of the blog. In fact, "Childhood Trauma" was the first name of this blog, thanks to the classic line in the pilot. When it came time to pick a show to cover here, it seemed natural to start with Buffy.
This chapter starts off amazingly well: "I was having a bad week." Bella, girl. You're having a bad LIFE. But guess what, y'all? Her bad week has very little to do with the fact that Victoria's back and everything to do with the fact that no one will turn her into a vampire several weeks ahead of schedule. She argues that being a weak little human person is a terrible idea with Victoria around, but the Cullen-Hales point out that there are seven of them versus one of Victoria and for some inexplicable reason, they all want Bella to stay safe.
YOU GUYS. WE MADE IT TO THE END OF THIS RIDICULOUS SHOW. I honestly thought this day would never come. In some ways it's been a million times harder for me than Buffy because so many of the episodes were meh-tastic and Whedon kept killing off all the female characters. Still, WE MADE IT. And that warrants a dance party!
Sweeney: ALWAYS DANCE PARTIES. ALWAYS.
Lorraine: This post is going up a little late because of timezone issues. So, Kirsti told me to celebrate the end while she went to sleep. I told her I was at work. She said I should have a dance party in the bathroom.
Sweeney: ALWAYS DANCE PARTIES. ALWAYS.
Lorraine: This post is going up a little late because of timezone issues. So, Kirsti told me to celebrate the end while she went to sleep. I told her I was at work. She said I should have a dance party in the bathroom.
Buffy appraises a bunch of coffins. Spooky music plays while she opens one up, but it's all a bit of misdirection. There is nothing in the coffin. Buffy is here to pick one for Joyce.
Misdirection dictated that Buffy was doing all of this in the dark, in a room away from Giles, Dawn and the salesman. They enter the room now, and Buffy points out her selection. The salesman makes a skeevy comment about he can tell how much she care for the deceased based on her selection. It must be expensive. (S: Clearly. Such a skeevy and inappropriate comment and this guy needs a new line of work.) (K: Agreed. Creepy coffin salesman is creepy.)
Misdirection dictated that Buffy was doing all of this in the dark, in a room away from Giles, Dawn and the salesman. They enter the room now, and Buffy points out her selection. The salesman makes a skeevy comment about he can tell how much she care for the deceased based on her selection. It must be expensive. (S: Clearly. Such a skeevy and inappropriate comment and this guy needs a new line of work.) (K: Agreed. Creepy coffin salesman is creepy.)
If fighting in a cemetery is Buffy's go-to opening (with dream sequences being a not-too-far second place) a woman worriedly walking down a street at night is Angel's go-to. That's how we start our episode today. Worried Walking Woman is being followed by three nefarious looking guys and she soon breaks out into a worried jog. She reaches a dead end, and we see the nefarious guys are in fact vampires. She looks pretty SOL until we hear footsteps approaching. One vamp is all, "YOU!" and the music swells and the lying camera zooms in on the YOU!'s feet, so we know it isn't who we expect it to be, despite the black and billowy coat. It is not Angel. It's a black male wearing a bandana. He asks if the vamp was expecting someone else, just as a jeep full of back-up rolls into the shot.
Roll credits.
Roll credits.
Sweeney: This episode begins with a party at Cordelia's and I get excited because I've seen fun gifs of this episode! Cordelia jokes that a party must be Angel's idea of hell and he says, "Actually in hell you tend to know a lot of the people." LOL. A+ for you.
K: I'm going to use that excuse next time I have to go to a party, because Angel at a party = GPO-freaking-Y.
Sweeney: Best excuse ever. Cordelia scurries off to see some guy she's excited about and Angel watches Wesley dance awkwardly and gets the funniest little "You crazy" look ever. I'm so happy about everything that's happening.
K: I'm going to use that excuse next time I have to go to a party, because Angel at a party = GPO-freaking-Y.
Sweeney: Best excuse ever. Cordelia scurries off to see some guy she's excited about and Angel watches Wesley dance awkwardly and gets the funniest little "You crazy" look ever. I'm so happy about everything that's happening.
The title is reassuring me a teeny tiny bit, as the LA girl of the batch. I'm going to give you guys the oh-so-hilarious Snark Squad speech about how we really planned to keep this short. I laugh preemptively, because I have to start this and my Twitter bio is about how I am an uncontrollable rambler. I drank a bit to prepare myself. I am also terrified to start this series because I am a one-sided Buffy/Angel shipper in that I am cool with Buffy moving on and having a life BUT ANGEL MUST LOVE HER FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL HE BROODS TO DEATH. I'm also preemptively confused as to how they're going to give him romantic subplots, because of the whole orgasm happiness = no-soul thing. I'm curious to see how we contrive our way around this.
Previously: The evil mayor conspired to make the grownups of Sunnydale regress to teenagerness and it was awesome. — Revelations Sweeney: We begin at the Bronze with Oz playing and...
Previously: Buffy was hospitalized, a demon preyed on sick kids, and Whedon used his entire special effects budget for the season. — I Only Have Eyes For You Sweeney: We open...