Tag: that’s rape asshole

The OC S02 E21 – Bienvenido a Miami.

As with many episodes, we start off in the Cohen’s kitchen, because why else would we need to see other parts of their humongous house. Although, it’s a shnazzy looking kitchen.
Marines: If past episodes are to be believed they only have one guest bedroom. I think this house is just a kitchen, a pool house and like 2.5 other rooms. IT'S ALL A RUSE.
Lily: Seth and Ryan discuss potential Spring Break plans.

Pretty Little Liars S04 E21 – Big eyes mean bad things.

Aria cries as she fills her friends in on the ever-increasing creepiness of Ezra Fitz. See, he didn't kiss a random girl and THEN find out she was 16. He knew all along that she was a minor but he's awful and decided to exploit her anyway. Additionally, he had a "brief" relationship with Alison when she was 14. So. I actually just got really, really gaggy.
Sara: It seems like the word 'relationship' is not really accurate considering it was between a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD and a grown man in college. Gross gross gross gross.

Dollhouse S01 E08 – Echoline

Paul is in his apartment without a shirt. (M: Very important detail. I like the way you recap.) Someone knocks at the door and it’s Echo in a very boobalicious black dress. She ditched an engagement to deliver a message. That message is that she has something Paul needs - her mouth on his mouth. Paul’s all pissy because he's not a client, but they move to the couch and make out a ton anyway. Mellie appears from the shadows to be jealous. Paul insists that he has something Echo needs (dem abs, dat back) so they keep with the kissing. Mellie interrupts again, saying Echo doesn’t need anything because she’s dead. Paul pulls away from Echo, who’s now pale and corpsified.
Ew.

Dollhouse S01 E06 – Calm Down, Paul

We begin with an ominous fuzzy screen title card telling us that we're about to see Testimonial Documents in the DOLLHOUSE Interviews in Los Angeles. A reporter speaks into the camera explaining that some people in LA know of "The Dollhouse" as something seedy. Cut to an interview with a random super sketchy dude, insisting that "everybody knows" it exists. Continuing his report, the journalist explains that dating back to the 1980s, The Dollhouse is LA's most famous urban legend and he explains quite accurately what it is before clarifying that "most everybody" regards it as science fiction. This report isn't about the legitimacy of The Dollhouse so much as a series of MAN ON THE STREET interviews with people about their reactions to the idea of The Dollhouse. (M: You can't see me, but I've giving you an imaginary Title Star, girl. Good job.) (S: Since nobody actually gets it this episode, I'm just gonna go ahead an take it.)

Supernatural S02 E14 – Embrace your feminine side

Dean stands next to the Bromobile by an underpass and phones Ellen in a panic. Sam's been missing for days, there's no sign of him, and Dean's freaking the fuck out because it's like Papa Winchester all over again. Ellen hasn't heard anything. Dean's phone beeps and he looks at the screen to see an incoming call from Sam. He answers, then tells Sam to calm down because he's on his way.
Crappy motel. Sam hangs up the phone and stares at his bloody knuckles. Dean Bromobiles his way to Sam. He reaches the motel and rushes to Sam's room. He panics a little when he finds blood all over Sam's shirt, but Sam assures him it's not his.

Veronica Mars S02 E16 – Town of Indeterminate Size

he previouslies are loaded with Troy flashbacks, so, you know, that's a thing to prepare for. I have the vague feeling that I don't like this episode, but it wins a lot of points for continuity porn, which this show is full of and generally does quite well. Bringing back a character we haven't seen in 30 episodes is neat because it's a show's way of saying, "Yes, we know that when characters leave our immediate scope, they continue existing and being people!"
Marines: "And we realize that real people often have multiple interactions with more than 5 people." Good job, show. You are right.
Democracy Diva: For the resident Snow, these callbacks are often confusing, but even I remembered Troy as... uh... someone Veronica dated who did something fucked up to her? Right? Maybe? It's been a LONG TIME since Season 1, you guys. I know I'm supposed to hate him, I just don't totally remember why.

Supernatural S02 E13 – Avenging Angels

First things first, this is the second of three episodes in this season that's named after a Led Zeppelin song. I know Dean loves his Zeppelin, but that's a little over the top. ANYWAY. Providence, Rhode Island. A junkie-looking young woman sits watching TV, surrounded by creepy-as-shit angel statues. She flicks from the Drew Carey Show to a televangelist, wibbling about how God is with you. She turns the TV off, and the lights flicker. The TV switches on again. The televangelist asks if she can hear the glory. The lights continue to flicker and the room starts to shake. She stares in shock and awe at a white light that appears.
FLAME ON!

Supernatural S02 E05 – Use the force

The clock strikes 12.20pm (really?? It STRIKES at 12.20??). A guy answers his phone. We see hazy flashes of him picking up a shotgun and killing people, then back in reality, he says "Alright," and hangs up the phone as a bus drives past. He heads into a store and asks to look at a gun. The shopkeeper is startled because Doc's not the gun-toting type, but shows him a shotgun. Doc asks what kind of shells it uses, and the shopkeeper pulls out a box to show him. Doc loads the shotgun he's holding. The shopkeeper gets shouty. "It's all going to be okay..." Doc says before shooting the shopkeeper. Customers scream, but Doc repeats his previous statement before shooting himself.

Veronica Mars S01 E21 – A good cry-puke.

We open in Havana, Cuba. Funnily enough, it looks a lot like Neptune, except with horses. Duncan is spending some time there to grow an ugly beard hide out for awhile.
Lorraine: That beard definitely looks like it's trying too hard.
Diva: Keith has managed to track him down, while wearing a hat that makes me fully unable to take him seriously. Duncan wants to know if Keith also thinks he's a murderer. He tells Duncan that he doesn't know who killed Lilly, but he knows it wasn't Abel Koontz. Duncan is all, yeah, but it also wasn't ME, so let me grow my chin-pubes in peace

Orphan Black S02 E03 – Unwanted House Guests

Sarah wakes up in the stolen pickup truck out in the middle of nowhere. It's a really pretty shot, but Felix isn't finding this camping thing all that pretty.  Sarah's wearing leather pants which seem like a really bad choice for life on the run. ETERNAL SWAMP ASS. (L: Plus, it clearly outs her as a BAD GIRL.) Sarah catches Felix up on what happened with Mrs. S and The Birdwatchers, (Sounds like a band name!) adding that it seemed like this wasn't Mrs. S's first murder. Felix decides he's really had his fill of camping when he steps in a pile of shit and Sarah laughs. Don't laugh girl, you're going to have to ride in a car with that. (L: Plus, those with eternal swamp ass can't be judgers.) Felix decides that they 100% need to get to civilization now.

Game of Thrones S04 E04 – Efficient justice

The credits on fire take us through Kings' Landing, Dragonstone, the dreaded Dreadfort, Winterfell, The Wall, and finally forever away to Meereen.
We start the episode with Missandei teaching Grey Worm to read and speak in the Common Tongue. He asks about her background and she tells him she was kidnapped when she was five years old. Her memories are vague, but she does remember her village burning. If her village was anything like Winterfell, it was probably on fire forever, so I guess that's the kind of thing you'd remember. (S: FOREVER AND EVER.) Missandei in turn asks Grey Worm if he remembers his original home. He says there is nothing before the Unsullied. She says that's BS and maybe one day he will return to the Summer Isles. Grey Worm doesn't want to return. He wants to kill all the masters.

Game of Thrones S04 E03 – This fucking episode.

Episode begins with the credits and Winterfell's eternal fire. Because this show just wants to taunt us and destroy us and so they give us these credits and also, you know, this episode. This fucking episode.
Lorraine: I think that's a good thing to get out of the way early. Welcome to our recap for episode 3; THIS FUCKING EPISODE.
Sweeney: This Fucking Episode begins where the last one left off. Joffrey's corpse, bloody and blue. Cersei screaming for Tyrion to be taken and demanding to know where Sansa is. Tywin orders the gates to the city barred and every ship in the harbor seized. Too bad for you, assholes, Dantos is successfully getting her the hell out of there. About damn time, really.

Orphan Black S01 E05 – Parasites

We open in a dirty-looking room with some of that murder lighting Helena seems to carry around with her. She's passed out and a man whose face we cannot see is cleaning up her wound. Helena stirs just in time to name this man Tomas. The camera is doing all kind of unfocused zooming in and out just so we're clear that we're in the crazy part of town.
Sweeney: The part of town where they drug our friend the Zoomy Cameraman. Not even he knows what he's trying to tell us now.
Lor: Sarah's at Beth's house, video chatting with Alison, who is nervous about the fact that Helena is still out there. Plus, Alison doesn't see how Sarah quitting Beth's job is beneficial at all.

Firefly S01 E14 – Such Badass

FIRST THINGS FIRST: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA. Apparently her co-workers are not showering her with candy and permission to not do anything today, which is stupid, so everyone else should shower her with internet high fives and the like.
The episode begins with somber music and a zoomy tour through the inter-workings of Firefly. It's giving me all sorts of "THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE! WHY?" feelings. The zoomy tour ends on River's face waking up. She goes out into the hall where she hears Simon and Kaylee laughing as he tells her a story of a med school streaking prank. As Kaylee asks what song he was singing he looks up at River and says, "I would be there right now," coldly, before resuming the laughter, making me think (hope?) this is more a River fear (/intuiton) than a thing that actually happened.

Orphan Black S01 E03 – Sucks to be us

Sarah is where we last left her-- sitting in Alison's basement, explaining to her two-twins that she never met her birth parents. She was adopted at 8 and came to live "here" at 12. The show is shot in Canada, but I'm now realizing that I have no idea where it's supposed to take place. Internet says possibly Hamden, Connecticut. Huh.
Sweeney: Really? Weird. She mentions that Alison lives in Scarborough, a suburb of the city where she resides. I don't know enough about Canada, but according to Google maps, that could be a suburb of Toronto. Canadians, please explain.