Tag: that’s rape asshole

Veronica Mars S01 E01 – Flailtroductions

IT'S NEW SERIES TIME! New series and a new recapper. We've wanted to add Veronica Mars to our repertoire for a while, but we also needed a Snow (and like 19 more hours in the week, but we settled for having half of our demands met).  Much like our Buffy recaps we have three different experiences. I haven't marathoned any other show half as many times as I've seen this one. (Which is to say that I've seen it all-the-way-through 5 or 6 times. I really don't repeat-marathon most shows.) Lor has only seen it once, though we share the belief that the first season of this show is one of the best seasons of TV ever. (We'll see how blogging changes things.) Meanwhile, a dear friend of the blog (and also my lifeself), The Democracy Diva will be joining us as the resident Snow. Diva Snow, if you please.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S06 E19 – NOPE.

I grew anxious about recapping this episode months ago. I hadn't even anticipated how much drama would ensue in Traumaland before we reached this point. I was a little blindsided by that, to be honest. The bright side is that it actually makes this recap a little less scary for me. The stage has been well set, and many an argument has already been had much earlier than I expected. This, of course, isn't going to make this episode any more enjoyable to watch. But that's what we're going to do, so let's get to it.
Kirsti: I'm pretty sure that back in January when Sweeney and I hung out in LA for like four hours, one of the first things I said (besides "OMG, In n Out needs to come to Australia because this shake is magical") was "I'm scared of Seeing Red." So yeah.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S06 E13 – I hate everyone.

The episode begins with Spuffy sex, because the Number Gods hate me. They "missed the bed" (K: And ended up UNDER a rug?!) (L: METAPHOR.), which Spike thinks is lucky for the bed. Buffy says he's done a great job with the crypt decorating, and Spike realizes that they're having an actual conversation. They then congratulate each other on their sex skillz but Buffy shuts that down when he calls her an animal. He asks her what this is to her, and if she even likes him. Sometimes. He holds up some handcuffs and asks if she trusts him. "Never."
In Trio's New Basement of Misogyny & Failure, Jonathan and Andrew are bickering while Warren works on something evil.

Pretty Little Liars S02 E01 – Unwise choices.

The first episode of season two starts moments after where we left off at the end of For Whom the Bell Tolls. The girls are sharing a group WTF over the fact that Ian was most definitely dead, and now his body is missing. They of course attribute this to A shenanigans.
Creepy Jenna-kissing Officer Garrett comes over to tell the girls that they are being taken down to the station and their parents will meet them there. The girls don't question this, and hop on into Officer Garrett's car. He takes a turn that is decidedly not towards the station, pulls into a back alley and demands that the girls all get out of the car in a super creepy fashion.

Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 15 – Abusive Boyfriend Super Bowl

Sweeney: Having dispensed with all that crazy business wherein Ana had to interact with other people, we begin this chapter in a familiar place: with everyone's least favorite couple in bed. Ana, "linger[s] on the edge of consciousness," afraid to wake her future murderer. A valid fear.
Lorraine: It's made a hilarious fear because Ana is being suffocated by Grey's body heat. So, she's not going to wake him because he doesn't get enough sleep and Grey needs to sleep regardless of if Ana is being robbed of her oxygen. Because it hasn't happened in a bit: AND THEN SHE DIES.
Sweeney: That game will never stop being wonderful.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E01 – Mind Control Does Not Equal Consent

Sweeney: Season 5 has mixed reviews from all of you, but anything beats S4 in my book, so let's get started and leave that disappointment behind us. Buffy is lying in bed with Riley and unable to sleep because she knows her relationship is doomed. Or because she knows there's a vampire out there waiting to be staked. Whatever. She gets up, runs through the cemetery and gets to staking before returning to bed, knowing that it's just her doing the slaying and no more Initiative, and all is well in the world.
Lorraine: I got all sorts of Buffy answering the call of duty vibes from this scene. A lot of those very! significant! moments in Restless told us about Buffy coming up against her slayer nature and really belonging to this world.

Pretty Little Liars S01 E03 – A Shitty Turnout

Our Pretty Little Liars are walking through a wooded area. You know, the kind where pretty girls get raped and killed and stuff. Emily is leading the other, somewhat reluctant girls back to the shed, site of the original murder-y slumber party, to build a memorial to Alison. Spencer thinks going back to the scene of the crime looks weird and Emily asks if she's worried what other people think. Spencer is all, "UM, WE HAVE OUR OWN DETECTIVE STALKER WHO THINKS WE KILLED HER, SO YES I CARE."
Sweeney: Word. I love how Emily tries to make it a whole BE YOURSELF! ish thing both because of the pot/kettle thing and, more importantly, being investigated for murder is a whole other level of "Yes, what other people think of you matters."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E17 – Jonathan Bieber

We start with a classic Buffy beginning: our titular character is fighting off a vampire. We quickly see that the Scoobies are with her, being helpful where they can be and pointing her in the direction of a vampire who scurried away. They follow him into a crypt and find a nest of vampires who are all busy noisily slurping on a person. It's funny to me that sometimes vampires seem to insta-drain someone, but here we get more of an extended meal. I wonder if the quick slurp ever gives them vamp-indigestion.
Sweeney: I feel like this line of thinking can't go anywhere good.

The Seven Worst Christian Grey Moments in Fifty Shades Darker

After writing 22 separate posts about how terrible this book is, it has reached a point where we're not even sure how to simplify how much it sucks. Just in case you were looking for the tl;dr version (not to be confused with our usual snark which is more TOO TERRIBLE; PLEASE DON'T READ), we've put together a list of the stand-out awful moments, courtesy of one Christian Grey. Consider this your, "Fifty Shades Darker is Awful Talking Points Cheat Sheet."

Game of Thrones S03 E03 – Offhanded Comments

Lorraine: Just when we seem to give up on the credits, it adds a shiny, new location to the map so we forgive it for being an occasional liar. I feel like this is an abusive relationship, Credits, but I don't know how to quit you. Today: King's Landing, Harrenhal, (new location) Riverrun, Winterfell on Fire, The Wall and Astapor.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.